Welcome ania! So sad to read about your experience. Sadder still is the fact that there are so many of us whose lives are almost a carbon copy and THE INSANITY STILL RAGES ON! Happily you gained the strength to leave and tell your story. I think we all just want a chance to be heard. You've come to the right place. Peace, Loli
Posts by loli
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45i was born into a violent abusive JW family
by ania inthe abuser was my father, we were all (7 children) abused severely (including our mother) as a child i did not understand what exactly was going on but after many years of councelling and so-forth (my counceller tells me, my case is the most severe she has had in her 12 years as a counceller) i discovered that my father was (is) a sado-masichist.
he got sexual enjoyment from beating us all.
i already knew this to an extent i just never realised there was actually a name for what he got out of it.. after 20 odd years of this abuse, my mother had tried to go through the right channels (the elders, in several congregations we moved to etc) in order to get permission to take her children and live separate to her husband who was a constant threat to our very lives (he was a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic & incrediably unpredictable) she was however told time and again that if she left her husband she and her unbaptised children (under 18) would most certainly lose out on everlasting life.
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Jehovah God and God
by Geronimo ini realized today that when i was a dub i unconsciously made a distinction between jehovah god and god.
i had always thought of god as infinite eternal conscious energy and love, the sum and ground of being itself.
impersonal except as personified in sentient beings such as ourselves.
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loli
Okay, my computer got ahead of me and sent my reply prematurely. Anyway, after leaving WTS, I started challenging all of what I had been taught up to that point, including the name Jehovah. Personally, it always felt like obnoxious overkill how much the dubs insisted on its use. Once I really dug into other belief systems, I stumbled into some Gnostic theories. I don't think ANY man-made school of thought can have the monopoly on the divine, however, some theories have some really good points. Definitely, I don't think Christianity in any form today has much to do with Jesus' life and teachings. Gnostics feel that our planet is governed by an inferior demi-god that gets a kick out of animal sacrifice and bloodshed. The supreme creative force is far beyond all of that. For the record, I do not consider myself a Gnostic, I just think they make some very valid points. Peace to all, Loli
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Jehovah God and God
by Geronimo ini realized today that when i was a dub i unconsciously made a distinction between jehovah god and god.
i had always thought of god as infinite eternal conscious energy and love, the sum and ground of being itself.
impersonal except as personified in sentient beings such as ourselves.
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loli
Excellent post!
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loli
I was baptized at 13, df'd at 16. Came back, faded out. Don't wish to be redundant, but to keep her memory alive, my sister's story in a nutshell is: She was baptized young (13 or 14), and then at 16 she went to a party where she consumed some alcohol, and was raped. She was df'd because she did not scream. Yeah, some love and medical/psychological treatment should have been given. She couldn't handle being shunned from the family and ended her life shen she was 21. Great, aren't they?
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Ever know of a great family movie, the Witnesses found demons or evil in?
by free2beme ini remember growing up, the witness children were often ones that were left to see all those g rated movies from disney.
yet even those at time, while accepted by just about every religion out there, were considered demonic.
for example, the following movies were said to show witchcraft and in or congregation we were encouraged to discard them and not own copies of them; sleeping beauty, snow white, the little mermaid, bed knobs and broomsticks, and fantasia.
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loli
Oh yeah, childhood prohibitions: Disney movies with witches, fairies, magic, etc. Scooby Doo Three's Company Smurfs (according to JW urban legend, they can come out of the tv and posess children. One stuffed smurf toy supposedly got up and walked out of a Kingdom Hall) Wizard of Oz Casablanca (because of the affair in Paris)
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The Best Revenge as a so called "Apostate" is...HAPPINESS
by Lady Liberty ingood morning all and happy sunday to you and your families..... don't you find that when you are asked by a jw how you are doing, they expect you to say.... horrible, terrible, i am so unhappy..blah blah blah.
witing for that kind of reply so they can say in return,"well if you would only return to jehovah, and his spirit appointed organization you would be happy again.
" you know the drill.
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loli
I once (probably my second or third at the time) was in the hot seat of a judicial committee meeting. I point-blank asked one of the elders about people who leave the org. for good. His reply was that the only way to be able to stay away permanently was to "immerse onesself in sin" HUH?! As if a person is destined to become a substance-abuser/prostitute/thief/murderer. etc. I also have observed the attitude stated that if someone leaves and things go well for them, that is because Satan is rewarding them. If things do not go well with them, that is because Jehovah has withdrawn his blessing from them. Note the flip side for people on the "inside" - when things go well, Jehovah is blessing you. When you come upon hard times, Satan is testing you. Yikes!!! So glad to be out!
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How many need to die before it raises a flag?!
by loli ini don't know about the rest of you, but in my geographical area, it seems that when a person is df'd, it raises their risk of suicide.
not only did i lose my baby sister when she was 21 this way, but in the last 5 years there have been seven people in the circuit who have taken their own lives.
some perhaps are considering it, or have attempted it and nobody reveals it.
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loli
I am sooo grateful for the comments offered on this subject. If there were only a way to get information to the dear, sweet souls that feel that they cannot be loved, forgiven, appreciated outside WTS. It was only after I left the org. that I was exposed to people from many backgrounds and belief systems who were able to love and give support - NO QUESTIONS ASKED. How strange, huh? I can't thank you all enough for how helpful this is to me. Peace, Loli
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How many need to die before it raises a flag?!
by loli ini don't know about the rest of you, but in my geographical area, it seems that when a person is df'd, it raises their risk of suicide.
not only did i lose my baby sister when she was 21 this way, but in the last 5 years there have been seven people in the circuit who have taken their own lives.
some perhaps are considering it, or have attempted it and nobody reveals it.
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loli
Let me know if I can help, Sparkplug. I agree that this forum is therapeutic. I'd love to lend assistance if you need it! Peace
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How many need to die before it raises a flag?!
by loli ini don't know about the rest of you, but in my geographical area, it seems that when a person is df'd, it raises their risk of suicide.
not only did i lose my baby sister when she was 21 this way, but in the last 5 years there have been seven people in the circuit who have taken their own lives.
some perhaps are considering it, or have attempted it and nobody reveals it.
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loli
Thank you for your reply, Sparkplug. Much appreciated!
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How many need to die before it raises a flag?!
by loli ini don't know about the rest of you, but in my geographical area, it seems that when a person is df'd, it raises their risk of suicide.
not only did i lose my baby sister when she was 21 this way, but in the last 5 years there have been seven people in the circuit who have taken their own lives.
some perhaps are considering it, or have attempted it and nobody reveals it.
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loli
Anyone?.....