Posts by OnTheWayOut

9

How would you feel if this happened to you?

by Island Man in

imagine you're a mentally out, physically in, awake jw who still attend meetings and occasionally do a little door-to-door perfunctory service just to please the still-in spouse and keep the elders off your back while you slowly and subtly try to free your spouse of the cult.

you're also a vociferous online critic of the jw organization and its harmful policies and false teachings.

one day while out doing your occasional perfunctory door-to-door service with a still-in jw, you knock on a door and the householder comes out and says:.

OnTheWayOut

It's hard to imagine being the fake self and hearing praise for the genuine self.
I have met a few people who said that reading my book made a difference for them, and I was totally humbled, nearly speechless at their words. One said, "I read your book first while still in, before anything from Ray Franz or the like, and it allowed me to keep reading others." Another was already out, but said "I read excerpts from your book to my JW-wife because it's not about doctrine." A coworker's wife said she gave her copy of my book to a young JW girl questioning the religion of her parents and didn't know if she should keep questioning. The coworker's wife said it made her go to the internet and she will avoid baptism and get out when she moves out of her parents' home.

So I have to think in your fictional scenario, I would snicker and hold back "THAT'S AWESOME!"

29

Assemblies - Before and After Waking Up

by Funchback in

jw
friends

happy friday to all!.

i haven't been to a meeting for maybe 10 years.

i only know what's happening nowadays from the experiences i read here or the internet in general.. anyway, on to the topic: i started attending meetings at the age of 7. as a kid, the only thing i looked forward to at the assemblies (circuit/district) was walking around veteran's stadium (philadelphia district convention) during intermission, hanging with friends, looking at girls (as i got a little older) and trying to have enough tickets to get pizza!.

OnTheWayOut

Eventually, to save money, the WTBTS decided to have everyone BYO food (making like the decision was to benefit the people). They also tied to this the "rule": Do not go to public vendors and buy your lunch. Bring your own! Me thinks this was because, if you spend money on food, you will donate less to the Society.

When WTS stopped "selling" food because it might be considered a profit that was taxable to the government, they hoped the members would donate enough money to still keep offering the food (which was a huge cash cow for them). Well, the members did not. So food was done away with.

The reason they insisted so heavily that people bring their own food was that many stadiums/auditoriums had kitchens and venders and wanted to open these during the JW events, but Watchtower said "Our people would not use your venders, they are there to be among their brothers and sisters and would rather bring their own." Really, it was as you say- money going to the vender would not make it into the box. Could you imagine the pizza, hot dog, beer, venders being open during an assembly?

By the time I was fully awake, I attended one District Assembly still as an elder and barely paid attention to anything said but kept busy as an attendant. I couldn't imagine sitting there for even a public talk now, without laughing out loud at the logic flaws and comedy of misunderstood conceptions.

23

Where do I start telling a psychologist about the mental trauma I feel as a fading jw?

by Simple Minds in

i am on a pension, so i could not afford to pay for a psychologist, but my good doctor referred me to a free clinic for people on a low income, for my anxiety and depression, so i have finally got my first appointment with a psychologist since i started my fade, so where do i start trying to explain the mental trauma i feel as a fading jw?

i would appreciate your advice.

simple .

OnTheWayOut

These are your own words, feel free to write them out and start by saying something just like you did here:

after being a jw for 25 years and keeping my true thoughts and feeling all bottled up and putting on the fake kingdom smile for so long i feel that my brain will explode when i finally let it all out. i feel sorry for the poor psych

26

Good idea or bad idea?

by stephanie61092 in

first and foremost, thank you so much to so many of you who have reached out to me over the past few days since my post on sunday.

i'm not totally in the best mental state, however, i do have a very small amount of people that i can lean on for support.

i relayed my feelings to a friend (my only friend, really), who took the initiative to inform my family.

OnTheWayOut

As another ex-elder, I agree with everything leaving_quietly says on page 2. I want to add that if they don't reinstate after the second letter, feel free to submit one every month and they will cave in sooner.

Don't bother with the money at all, no elders are likely to ever ever notice it.

When they reinstate, they will impose restrictions on you- withhold commenting and giving talks at the hall (or whatever they do with sisters at the CLAM now). You don't ever need to worry about getting such privileges back. As a matter of fact, if you are reinstated for the sake of family, you can feel free to miss any (or even ALL) meetings after that. You are golden and they can't make you progress as a "publisher" or anything. I wouldn't bother with trying to keep up any pretenses as far as the elders go after reinstatement, I would just avoid them. If you decide you need to attend some meetings because of family, just always tell the elders that you are fine and, "no, don't need to talk, bye."

24

Just handed in my Disassociation letter

by Thirteenth tribe in

tonight my dl was posted by hand by my husband (a worldly guy).

i had the luxury of being at work distracted whilst he posted it.

i have been baptised for just over 2 years and studied since 2010. i couldn't take it anymore, not just the zealous dislike/disgust for 'people in the world' (this includes my husband and 99% of my family btw) but the obvious.... the investigations into child sexual abuse.

OnTheWayOut

Congratulations on your Disassociation. So great that you do not lose family over this.

87

Did you get " Counseled " about the Music you Listened to While you were a JW ?

by flipper in

jw
friends

from the time i was a small boy - i loved rock n' roll music.

beatles, rolling stones, led zeppelin, hendrix.

i started getting slighted for the music i listened to as i lay in my bedroom listening on headphones to led zeppelin's song " black dog " at age 14 with my elder dad looking suspiciously at me as i'm rocking out .

OnTheWayOut

I did not grow up as a JW, so I had my music.

I was the idiot who pretty much shelved his heavy metal and did what "Mother" said.

I remember having a stupid discussion with another JW about RADAR LOVE and we decided it was okay because the guy could be singing about being physically separated from his wife.

Because I picked up my music again when I cast aside my JW beliefs, this was a very dear song to me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4EFddbHkRo

I don't allow myself to listen to AC DC and many other groups unless I am able to turn up the volume.

70

When is a theory 'just a theory'?

by HB in

the titles of cofty's excellent recent posts are all preceeded by the words "evolution is a fact...".

richard dawkins is encouraging people to use the term 'fact' in relation to evolution, especially when debating with creationists as the word 'theory' is confusing to many, and the latter often takes the discussion off on an often unproductive tangent.

the following may be of interest, it's from the bbc website - part of a regular series of articles called 'the vocabularist', discussing the origin and meaning of words: .

OnTheWayOut

WIkipedia is typically a good starting place. Notice the article at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolution_as_fact_and_theory

The basic discussion is that 'each of the words "evolution," "fact" and "theory" has several meanings in different contexts.' There is plenty of data that falls into the "facts" category and there is no doubt that "change over time" (the definition of "evolution") is taking place. But there are also theories. To science, theories are "well-substantiated explanations."

The reason that many scientists (and Cofty and many of us atheists) say "Evolution is a fact" is because monotheists like to use words like "theory" to dismiss science. They assume a theory is just an opinion, like if I say "My theory is that rats only come in my barnyard at night to avoid me and my shotgun." They assume "theory" can easily be claimed to be weak.

38

Why was it so hard for Jesus to convince the Jews that he was the Messiah???

by James Mixon in

??????

?

OnTheWayOut

It makes for better fiction if there is a central problem in your story.

18

What could the FDS theme tune be?

by pandorasbox1914 in

what do think guy's?for me it would have to be jimi hendrix "all along the watchtower" and when they end their earthly course, led zeppelin's "stairway to heaven"any other good songs?

OnTheWayOut

....or SHIP OF FOOLS by the Grateful Dead

The Ship of Fools is a ship populated by fools, all sailing, supposedly, to the Paradise of Fools. But they have no pilot, and their journey is ill-fated. It represents Jerry Garcia and his band set adrift with no clear course or leader.

"Ship Of Fools"

Went to see the captain, strangest I could find,
Laid my proposition down, laid it on the line.
I won't slave for beggar's pay, likewise gold and jewels,
But I would slave to learn the way to sink your ship of fools.

Ship of fools on a cruel sea, ship of fools sail away from me.
It was later than I thought when I first believed you,
Now I cannot share your laughter, ship of fools.

Saw your first ship sink and drown, from rockin' of the boat,
And all that could not sink or swim was just left there to float.
I won't leave you drifting down, but woh it makes me wild,
With thirty years upon my head to have you call me child.

Ship of fools on a cruel sea, ship of fools sail away from me.
It was later than I thought when I first believed you,
Now I cannot share your laughter, ship of fools.

The bottles stand as empty, as they were filled before.
Time there was and plenty, but from that cup no more.
Though I could not caution all, I still might warn a few:
Don't lend your hand to raise no flag atop no ship of fools.

Ship of fools on a cruel sea, ship of fools sail away from me.
It was later than I thought, when I first believed you,
Now I cannot share your laughter, ship of fools.

It was later than I thought when I first believed you,
Now I cannot share your laughter, ship of fools.

18

What could the FDS theme tune be?

by pandorasbox1914 in

what do think guy's?for me it would have to be jimi hendrix "all along the watchtower" and when they end their earthly course, led zeppelin's "stairway to heaven"any other good songs?

OnTheWayOut

BAD BLOOD by Neil Sedaka

It could've been me
But it was you
Who went and bit off
A little bit more
Than he could chew

You said that you had it made
But you been had
The woman no good
No how
Thinking maybe the blood is bad

Bad (bad) blood (blood)
The woman was born to lie
Makes promises she can't keep
With the wink of an eye

Bad (bad) blood (blood)
Brother, you've been deceived
It's bound to change your mind
About all you believe

From where I stand
It looks mighty strange
How you let a woman like that
Treat you like small change

I don't understand
What you're lookin' to find
The only thing bad blood do
Is mess up a good man's mind
Hear me talkin' now

Bad (bad) blood (blood)
The bitch is in her smile
The lie is on her lips
Such an evil child

Bad (bad) blood (blood)
Is takin' you for a ride
The only thing good about bad blood
Is lettin' it slide

Doo-ron, doo-ron, di di
Dit, dit, do-ron-ron
Doo-ron, doo-ron, di di
Dit, dit, do-ron-ron

Doo-ron, doo-ron, di di
Dit, dit, do-ron-ron
Bad blood, talking 'bout bad blood

Doo-ron, doo-ron, di di
Dit, dit, do-ron-ron
Doo-ron, doo-ron, di di

Dit, dit, do-ron-ron
Doo-ron, doo-ron, di di
Dit, dit, do-ron-ron
Bad blood, here we go

Bad (bad) blood (blood)
The bitch is in her smile
The lie is on her lips
Such an evil child

Bad (bad) blood (blood)
Is takin' you for a ride
The only thing good about bad blood
Is lettin' it slide

The only thing good about bad blood
Is letting it slide