Posts by FreeGirl2006

14

Just Sharing a couple of experiences I heard in the last day or two about ones leaving the Borg.

by Crazyguy in

i was having breakfast with a friend and former jw just yesterday and he informed me that the place we were eating in is owned by a former witness.

the story goes as he tells me that the wife and husband or on the outs and getting a divorce.

now just so you know the state i live in, a divorce is not quick, mandatory waiting period etc.

FreeGirl2006

Even when they do show up it is rarely encouraging. My marriage was in the trash can right from the get-go so I asked for a "shepharding" call. What we got was a visit where I was told all the marital trouble was my fault because I went to work full-time (I had moved to another state when I married so I took a month off before finding a job to get settled in with first time marriage and being a full-time step mom). Now when this call came, I was the sole breadwinner for the family as the hubby had been laid off. I asked if they were going to pay the bills and support us. Guess I didn't win any friends with the eldubs that day.

Fast forward a year or two. We moved back to my state and home congregation. I asked repeatedly for a "shepherding" call. We got one about 5 years later when I told the hubby I was leaving if something didn't change in the marriage. One of the many issues was the lack of sex. Hubs brought the eldubs to the house to discuss my lack of scriptural grounds for leaving. I brought up the issue of no sex (hubs thought I would be too embarrassed to do so) and we were told that we just needed to go on a long weekend without the kids. No scriptures read, no empathy, no asking the obvious question of why he was not wanting sex (answer: he was too exhausted from his girlfriend(s) ), and I was told that it was my fault for not being a better JW. I got up from the table and said I was through with the encouragement and left the room. With love, kindness, compassion & advice like that who needs marriage counseling?

I am sure many people can thank eldubs like that for our exodus from the cult.

10

Everything You Wanted to Know About Cart Witnessing But Were Afraid to Ask

by OrphanCrow in

orange county public witnessing has a website up and running.. http://ocpw.org/.

the pw "reminders" (rules) are simplified on this website:.

http://ocpw.weebly.com/reminders.html.

FreeGirl2006

I loved this post on one of those websites "One Tuesday morning session, Nicole and I counted 250 different people walk by our cart! That's a lot more than we would encounter door to door."

I wonder how many of those 250 different people even noticed or remembered seeing the cart ladies? Yes, you encountered more people, but did you make an impact?

29

To DA or not to DA, that is the question?

by dubstepped in

let me preface this by saying that i don't expect anyone here to make my decision for me.

i do however note that like the bible says, in the multitude of counselors there is wisdom, and this is a huge decision, so i wanted to put it out there for discussion.

i really appreciate your words of wisdom, as this affects not just me but my wife also, as we find ourselves in the same boat.

FreeGirl2006

Just walk away and live your life. Why give them power over you? I was unwillingly dfd and lost friends and family, but gained incredible freedom. I wouldn't change it for anything, so I get the freedom aspect. Are you in a position to move away where you are unknown, so you can just get on with life?

I think they just announce that you are no longer a JW so people won't know that you willingly walked away (of course that could have changed since I was bounced out).

1

A Day at the Circus--or is it A Day with the Dubs?

by FreeGirl2006 in

i recently was at the hospital visiting a dfd relative having her first baby.

a little background: baby mama and daddy are dfd for having sex.

thankfully they have not rushed into marriage because of the little package that has come along 9 months after their "transgression.

FreeGirl2006

I recently was at the hospital visiting a dfd relative having her first baby. A little background: Baby mama and daddy are dfd for having sex. Thankfully they have not rushed into marriage because of the little package that has come along 9 months after their "transgression." Some family members are sticking to the shunning and others have said, we want to be involved with the baby so we are going to use the necessary family biz to avoid the shunning. I am cool with the supportive relatives. The hard core ones just get on my nerves.

Anyway, the day the baby was born, I was in the room hanging out with baby, parents and other close family members when my SIL comes for a visit. She started sobbing very dramatically as soon as she walked in the room. No reason for it really, but hey, the day is all about her isn't it??? She is one of the ones trying to be hard core. Perhaps she felt guilty, I am not sure, but the drama was so inappropriate.

Then later comes my brother (her hubby). I have been feeling sorry for him because according to family members he is deeply depressed and I have been wondering if it is cognitive dissonance affecting him. I was curious to see if he would acknowledge me (barely) and then he just went and made an a**hole of himself in front of most of the family and nursing staff by saying over and over again that a broken femur (which he has had) hurts far worse than child birth (cause he would know?). I engaged him in some small talk to lessen the tension in the room and I got very rude dismissive treatment in return. He was barely polite to my boyfriend. Again, all behavior that would have been better left outside the hospital room.

JW family is so fun! Makes me glad I am being shunned by these people, as I find the lack of kindness and love in general to be a strain in the short run, I think I would go mad in the long run.

We did have some humor in the waiting room. JWs related to baby daddy were hanging out with my boyfriend and I. They didn't know I was once a dub so they kept trying subtle ways to witness. At one point one of them started a presentation right out of a meeting. I got up and walked off in the guise of stretching. I left my boyfriend behind. He is of Jewish decent and was once a Baptist minister (for approximately 20 years) and is now an atheist. He knows more about the Bible than a room full of average JWs and can and did handle himself. His approach was actually to avoid religion altogether and to ask some very deep questions to make the man reason. I think, at the very least, he really made the guy think for a brief period of time. Hopefully, he will do some research.

Of course, the most important part of the story is that baby & mama are doing great. Daddy is really doing a good job also. I have a new little angel to spoil!

17

That’s What Happens When You Leave the Truth.

by John Aquila in

it never failed, when someone got disfellowshipped or left the organization, their life became shambles.

if married, a divorce ensued.

if the person had a great job, the company would lay-off or close.

FreeGirl2006

I had a dub contact me via FB recently. I have known her all her life. I had heard through the grapevine that she is inactive but still very much in dubland. The conversation started with her telling me how sick she is still, how life is challenging. We spent most of the conversation on her (which was fine, I remember being chronically ill and needing a shoulder to cry on). Anyway, she finally asked how I was doing and I answered honestly that life was good and I was happy. She decided she had to go immediately after I said that. No further questions (it has been 9 years since she spoke to me) about what I have been up to. I have not heard from her since. Dubs need that confirmation that life is bad outside the borg, to confirm that their decision to stay put is the right one.

51

Just found out my older brother has passed away

by stuckinarut2 in

jw
friends

i have just found out that my brother (who was one of a bunch that shared this login) has died.. he and his wife were living in another country where they once pioneered.

i didn't see him that often.. such an empty feeling.....

FreeGirl2006

I am sorry for your loss.

11

OMG They are right here in River City!

by myway2007 in

jw
friends

jacksonville, fl - the local newspaper had an article on the convention going on for the next two weekends.

while i could not find the article, i was able to find this slide show of this weekend's events.

the newspaper article was interesting as it discussed what a wonderful job they were doing cleaning the arena seats and bathrooms and everyone was enjoying their job.

FreeGirl2006

#'s 5-7 have surely captured the "Big Brother" aspect of the borg!

23

Should I hit send button as is? Change? Or just hit delete?

by Lied2NoMore in

so after being deleted because of my comment on her instagram post by my sister-in-law i got a text from her stating she didn't want a debate on instagram and the scripture i posted would not apply to satan, they are worried about me, go see elders, return to jehovah, or else you won't get life, etc etc.... i'm ready to respond with the following reply:.

so....hit send?

make changes?

FreeGirl2006

Delete and enjoy life. Nothing you say is going to sway them if they are in full-on cult mode.

4

Happiness is....

by FreeGirl2006 in

having brunch and then getting a massage instead of sitting at the grand poobah session several blocks from my house.

it always irritated me how the convention was always scheduled for july 4th weekend and now it doesn't matter.

not trying to rub salt in the wounds of you poor ones who have to be bored or angry by turns at the rc this weekend, as i did decades of drone seat warming.

FreeGirl2006

having brunch and then getting a massage instead of sitting at the Grand Poobah Session several blocks from my house. It always irritated me how the convention was always scheduled for July 4th weekend and now it doesn't matter. Not trying to rub salt in the wounds of you poor ones who have to be bored or angry by turns at the RC this weekend, as I did decades of drone seat warming.

Isn't it funny how you can finally admit things freely once the cult personality is shredded? I used to be such a faithful little mouse, attending the convention, diligently taking notes, and afterwards parroting how "this was the best convention ever." What I never was willing to admit was that I took notes to keep from sleeping from the sheer boredom of hearing the same old s**t and frankly I rarely could remember any standout specific points. I could remember the 20 minute ending prayer from Brother Puffed-Up at the end of the day when you just wanted to leave.

My favorite part of the conventions was seeing (faux) friends and the cute guys. I enjoyed getting extra-dressed up (because we had so little opportunity in our area for that). Now I can see my(real) friends and get swanky any time I wish. Cute guys (with personalities and social skills) abound in the worldly playground. I don't miss one thing about those conventions now.

On a side note--all the sister bashing on here bothers me. I guess because I once was one. I am attractive and always dressed in a stylish manner. I worked full time at a great job, supported myself in my own home, had an active social life, was a faithful drone at the meetings, service, aux pioneered, etc. I just wanted to find a decent guy in the cult. I was not interested in titles or whether he was from Bethel, a pioneer, etc. I didn't flirt indiscriminately or fling myself at every chap around. I was friendly with men and women alike. One brother told me I was too smart and needed to hide that. I decided if I couldn't find a suitable mate because I was too smart, then that was a good thing. The selection of brothers was meager at best. They all seemed to want the pioneer girl just out of high school with the education of a paper bag or they had the social skills of a tree and a few of them were obviously gay. So, the poor selection of dating material works both ways. Frankly, no one caught in a cult is a catch for anyone since they generally have no clue what their true personality is or can't show it if they do know. Is it any wonder so many dub marriages are a train wreck? You don't know who you are and you don't know who you are really married to. My train wreck to an average Joe publisher turned out to be the vehicle by which I found the TTAT so perhaps my marriage (and definitely the divorce) was a blessing afterall!

Hope everyone is enjoying the July 4th weekend in the states!

35

Book cover for Kingdom Maladies

by punkofnice in

jw
friends

righto poppickers.

as some of you know, i have been putting together a book of interviews and humour.

it is designed (i hope), soften the blow for those inside the wbt$ who want to escape and also prove to those that have left that they are not alone.. anyway.

FreeGirl2006

I like the snarky remarks, but when I first look at the cover it hits me as being too busy. I may show this to my boyfriend (he does book cover design) and see what he says. Doom and gloom are comforting is the correct usage.