ithinkisee
you said
I had never felt that combination of feelings before. It was freaky. You know on the Discovery channel, how sea anemones slam shut really quick when a predator is near? That is actually what happened. I actually "saw" it slam shut as I panicked. I inhaled sharply and flinched - like when a part in a movie scares the crap out of you. I tried getting back to that place where my mind opened, but I was so rattled by what just happened I could not settle down again.
I'm glad that you are going to continue past that feeling of fear and freakiness. I have also been there. It is described as the egoic conscious mind trying to wrest control in the same way that your mind kept wandering when you were focusing awareness on your breathing. I understand that one has to surrender to get past that point.
bernadette