Cindi_67

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Posts by Cindi_67

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  41

  Slyvia Browne

  by Blueblades in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  is she for real?

  what do you know about her and books?

  she is on montell williams right now.. blueblades.

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  Cindi_67

  I think Lisa Williams is better. She is a british Medium/Clairvoyant. She is pretty good. Watch her I think is Sundays @ 11:00 pm on Lifetime, if you like that stuff.
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  30

  What contributes to a "climate of fear" in the congregation?

  by truthseeker in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was thinking about how much fear there is among jehovah's witnesses in relating to each other.. if you could read the private thoughts of jw's, you'd probably be surprised at the level of fear they have of each other.. this fear is not likely to be the morbid kind of fear, but the other kind of fear that concerns "what will people think of me?".

  you watched a movie at the weekend, it was rated pg, but you are afraid to tell your friends that you went to see it.. you were only able to report 4 hours of field service that month, but you are afraid to report this number so you tweak it.. you missed several meetings due to sickness, you still feel unwell, but you fear what the congregation may think so you force yourself to go.. you went on a weekend getaway, but you are afraid to tell the friends why you were missing that weekend in case they think you put kingdom interests last.. you watched a good book, but you are afraid to talk about it to your friends because they might be stumbled.. you heard of someone who got disfellowshipped but you are afraid to ask what happened.. you were unable to take friday off for the convention, but you fear what will be said about you.. you did not auxiliary pioneer during the memorial season and you are afraid people will think of you as spiritually weak.. .

  not everyone will let these things bother them, but many do.. this climate of fear and worry about what the congregation may or may not think does not contribute to a loving atmosphere.. what other things can you think of that contribute to a climate of fear?.

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  Cindi_67

  You were only able to report 4 hours of field service that month, but you are AFRAID to report this number so you tweak it.

  You missed several meetings due to sickness, you still feel unwell, but you FEAR what the congregation may think so you force yourself to go

  You went on a weekend getaway, but you are AFRAID to tell the friends why you were missing that weekend in case they think you put kingdom interests last.

  You were unable to take Friday off for the convention, but you FEAR what will be said about you.

  You did not auxiliary pioneer during the Memorial Season and you are AFRAID people will think of you as spiritually weak.

  You must've known me because for all those reasons is why I am in the predicament I am now. All those things came to my mind at one point and got tired of the fear, the comparisons, that if you didn't work but were not pioneering you weren't spiritual enough. Or like you said, if you missed a Friday for the Convention, you are not spiritual, and the rest of the things you mentioned. I felt depressed all the time, because not matter how I did things there were always the talks encouraging to do more, and more, and more. And I said, "I've had it", "I can't go on feeling like this anymore." I went to the meetings in a bad mood, and came out worst than when I came in. I lost my sister to cancer 10 days ago and this past weekend was our Circuit Assembly and my mom keept saying that she missed the Assembly and now she wants to know if they will be giving another one. I had to bite my tongue, because I felt like telling her, "Who cares if you missed one assembly. My sister's death is more important than that. So what if you missed this one!" And this is all because of how much the Society bangs you on the head about not letting anything come between you and your meetings. Ever since I stopped attending I've felt better. Don't have to compare myself with anybody and don't have to respond to anybody but God.

  I wrote a letter to the elders telling them how I felt about many things in the congregation and some doubts and after two visits by my book study conductor trying to encourage me (nothing related to my letter by the way) no one has even bother to contact me. The other elders have done like Poncius Pilate, they put the responsiblility on this elder only and have washed their hands and not care about me. So I said, "I don't care about going back either." It's too late.

  I feel anxious sometimes, thinking "Am I doing the right thing?" but I have to do what I want to do not what others expect me to do. You have described how most of us have felt at one point or another. You are right on.
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  40

  I need HELP and ADVICE. PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE READ

  by theyoungone in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  6 months ago i was d'fd and i am right now confused as to what i want to do cuse i can put my letter in for reinstatement now but i just dont know if that would be the best desicion for me.

  one side of me says go back to the jw org and do all that i can in the org so that i can make it to the paradise.

  but then one side says just do what u want to do til u die.

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  Cindi_67

  May I ask: How old are you? You appear to be very young. If so, it is very difficult to answer some questions. The only thing I can tell you is that you have to be true to yourself. You can't do things because others want you to. Again, the age factor is very important. I can advice you that you shouldn't live a double life. If you want to go back you have to be genuine. How do you feel about God, the Bible, JW's teachings in general? Go to another church? I wouldn't do that, you are going to find faults there as well, more than in the organization. If you are a spiritual person then think for yourself how to better attain a better relationship with God, without thinking about religion in general. Search within yourself and analyze what you've been taught. The reason for you being df'd even after going and confessing, might have been because, like you said you were "caught". Would you have confess if not? That is probably why you were df'd, they "sensed" you were not repentant. I don't know your family situation either and how they are treating you, if they are witnesses.

  Again there are a lot of factors we need to know before we can give you the proper advice. I don't see how talking negatively about the Organization would help here. That they were involved with the UN I couldn't believe it until I saw it. And even then I still have a lot of doubts as far as the motive behind it. Only time will tell.

  Let us know more about yourself without revealing too much of your intimate life. Maybe a little more background will be helpful in helping you.
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  16

  The Watchtower After Hours: Education?

  by Anitar in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  good afternoon everyone and welcome to my new series of reports i like to call the watchtower after hours, where we examine many various topics relating to jehovah witnesses, mostly found on their own website: http://www.watchtower.org/.

  i'd like to point out that these articles are all current or previous publications of the watchtower society, and have not been written or changed by me.

  the following commentary is usually quite sarcastic and if any current jehovah witness is reading this they are more than welcome to post their opinion, and i apologize in advance for offending anyone.

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  Cindi_67

  Interesting topic. This subject about education is very sensitive to me as I was one of those that didn't go to College because the end was near, and college was the nest of all sorts of inmoral and bad stuff.Now my husband and I are struggling to make ends meet and of course like one member said, have to work 2 jobs in order to pay rent, insurance, cars, etc. My husband on his days off, does some lawn maintenance to keep up with our debts. One brother in our congregation that had a lawn business and about 50 properties moved out and was looking to sell his equipment and pass on his properties. I told him that my husband could at least take over a few of his houses, I actually left him a note telling him that, and never received a response. He moved and never heard from him. Another brother, and elder by the way, also has this business, but never has he come to us asking if my husband is doing well in his, and if he needed some extra work. But to come to my house and offer him a Bible study and say that education is not something a Christian should be looking for as a goal, for that they are at your door itso facto. He is not a witness, I am, (inactive of course), but grew up as a JW.

  Lately, when it comes to help out those in need, if those people are not interested in studying the Bible or attending meetings, then they don't waste their time and effort helping. In fact I haven't been to a meeting since April, and only one elder, the one in charge of my book study, has been the only one visiting me, the others have just washed their hands, because it is this elder's responsibility, not theirs.
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  26

  When you left......

  by nonamegiven in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  what was your first indulgence?

  mine is watching all those r-rated movies i missed out on.

  man, i'm loving it!

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  Cindi_67

  Like a lof of you here, R rated movies and then some, drinking a little bit more than I used to, I smoke believe it or not like once a week, 1 or 2. Sometimes I can go without one for two weeks straight. I guess is the rebel on me. Waking up late every Saturday and Sunday, mmmmm.
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  79

  KM Insert "How Do I View Blood Fractions..." Complete Scan and PDF

  by V in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  download pdf here (all four pages).

  page 1 of insert: http://i11.tinypic.com/2s67s6g.jpg.

  page 2 of insert: http://i12.tinypic.com/2dtnpr9.jpg.

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  Cindi_67

  Is it me or does the guy on page 1 look as confused as I am about the blood fraction policy? Clearly the Watchtower is looking for anything to get out of the refuse blood transfusions policy it became tangled up in.

  I don't know what to think about all this. I got confused as well with all the mumbo jumbo crap talk. Like some of you have said, I think this is a way of getting out of a lot of problems they've had regarding this issue.

  I posted my introduction to the board not too long ago, I don't even remember under which thread, anyway, I talked about an experience given in a Circuit Assembly about a couple who had a daughter with leukemia. The part was supposed to have been about this couple being faithfull because of their refusal to accept blood. Well it turned out to be that her daughter died because of them refusing a bone marrow transplant. At no point during their explanation of their situation, did they said anything about going through any decisions regarding accepting or not accepting a blood transfusion, but finished their story by saying that the reason of her dying was their refusal of a bone marrow transplant. I went through the roof sort of speak, because I could not believe that somebody could be so ignorant so as to think that refusing a bone marrow transplant could be the same as refusing blood.

  My point is that, witnesses have become so afraid to "offend" God with this decision on the blood issue, that they can't even diferentiate between what is or not is a blood issue. This couple just let her daughter die, because they took matters to the extreme, and maybe thought that one thing had to do with the other and refused anything that had to do with blood or came close to it.

  The only thing that I agree with the Society in this "new light" is that they said "each one will carry with their own burden of responsibility" which is something that needed to be done a long time ago. Our consciences are what they are, and nobody should meddle into our personal decisions regarding anything in our personal lives.

  My decisions will be my decisions, and the only person that I will be responsible to is God himself. If I made the wrong decision, then he will be my judge, not the Society.
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  22

  The Inquisition. Have you been a victim?

  by hambeak in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  reading crisis of conscience, the part of the inquisition of the chairmans committee is very disturbing to me.

  has anyone here been before the jc and treated in such a secretive and destructive manner?

  with my temperment i would probably tell them go to hell and walk out.

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  Cindi_67

  I know by personal experience and the experiences of close friends, that elders have come to a point of asking very, very intimate questions when it comes to Committe meeting for either fornication, loose conduct or adultery. They even ask how many times it happened, what you were wearing, whether there was o**l s*x, who was on top, who started it, and things like that. I am not exagerating. They seem to think that being elders, gives them the right to invade your privacy in a way that is almost embarassing. If you went to them, it means you were repentant in the first place. Pertinent questions to see whether or not it was premeditated is different from just wanting you to relate in detail a porn movie.
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  14

  Remember the assembly hall at Grantville, Pennsylvania?

  by WingCommander in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  when i was a child in the early 80's, i remember about twice a year being packed up into the family jdub-mobile and taking about an hour trip up to the grantville, pa assembly hall.

  i think it was built in the late 60's, or early 70's.

  back in the 80's, circuit assemblies lasted like 4 days.

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  Cindi_67

  Hi:

  I have to tell you. You brought back many memories, back when the food was hot at assemblies and conventions. You must have felt that the assemblies were very boring. I say that because you said that Circuit Assemblies lasted 3 and 4 days back in the 80's. I am sorry to correct you, but I was raised in the Org. and I do remember the District Conventions lasting 4 entire days, but the Circuit Assemblies have always been 2 days. At least since I can remember.

  Anyways, very funny your story about the carpet made that way on purpose, to hypnotize. It must have been an ugly carpet.

  Great story, though.
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  22

  I think I'm going crazy

  by weary in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this is the first time i've been here.

  i feel very guilty.

  my whole life i've felt guilty.

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  Cindi_67

  Hey weary:

  Go to your other post "My very personal story". I am introducing myself there and also giving you a little bit of advice.

  See you there.
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  33

  my very personal history!

  by weary in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my history: i grew up as one of jw's.

  parents are still.

  both brothers have been df'd.

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  Cindi_67

  NO ONE KNOWS! I feel as though I've lived a lie my whole life. I'm forty now and still act like a child! Hiding my real self. If I were to confess my sins I'm sure that would be it for me! Every day I think about my imminent condemnation and eternal death.

  I am so sorry about what you are going through. First of all I would like to introduce myself to the board. I am a newbie. About 7 months ago, I decided to stop attending meetings. I got baptized in 1984 but grew up as a JW. Because of very intimate and personal problems I had as a child, I always felt that my life has been controled by others and that I never had the guts to make decisions for myself. Always wanting to please other people, always doing what everybody else decided was best for me. I don't have a problem with some teachings of the Organization, but I do have a problem with having to hear all the time that this or that is "not appropriate" or that your decisions, based on your conscience or your own resposibility, are not decisions of a "spiritual" person.

  I will relate a story and will try to be brief. About two years ago I attended a Circuit Assembly where, in one of the parts, a married couple was interviewed because they were an example on how a christian can be tested in regards to the BLOOD issue.

  They explained that they had a daughter with Leukemia. I didn't hear any explanation about them having to choose to give her a blood transfusion or anything, which might have happened, but their experience finish with them saying that their daughter died because they refused to give her a Bone Marrow transplant. I could not believe my ears. To me, that was the icing on the cake. I couldn't understand the fact that, if transplants are a matter of conscience, why use it as an example of "faith"?

  To me that was it. I started to drift away, having a sense of worthlesness, that I have always felt. My suggestion to you is, don't live a double life, come to terms with who you are. If it means to be df'd, then so be it. If your heart is set to serve God within the JW's organization, then confront your "demons" and do what is right. I know how it feels to think that, because of your decision, according to them, you will be destroyed in Armageddon. But I also refuse to accept that god is that frivolous and does not care about how we are not bad people and are struggling to do our best to serve him. Stop being afraid, and do what you got to do, and don't pospone it anymore, your depression will be more severe if you do. If they can't help you, help yourself and try to realize who you are and what you want of your life. I had to do it. I thought that my attendance to the meetings was all of because of fear and not genuine love for Jehovah. And I still feel that I need to get to love him even more. Not out of interest, but from warm and heartfelt love for him.

  I hope you work things out.