JohnnyC:
I have been inactive for 21/2 years. I don't consider myself a witness any longer either. However, I am concerned that you are here and attending meetings, and "confessing" your sins. You have a problem and that is obvious, but what is the reason for you to be here, and still wanting to go to the elders and confess what you did? I agree with SnakesInTheTower on his counsel to you. What do you want to do? You either want to be a Witness or you don't. By being here, you show you don't feel is the truth, or the religion is just not for you. You have doubts, and you can't be a Wintess if you have doubts.
If you don't want to be a Witness anymore, then do what Snakes told you, appeal, give them a lesson and don't go anymore. If you no longer care for the Organization, then why appeal? Take care of your problem and do it for you, not because you have to or else they will disfellowship you. If you went farther than just using prescription medications to satisfy your need of them using illegal methods, and you are ready to stop, just take care of that on your own. Go to a psychologist and start fresh. But don't tell the elders everything, look where it got you.
I smoke, but if I ever want to go back, IF, I wouldn't tell them I used to smoke, I will just stop and start attending meetings, but I am not going to make my return by confessing all my little sins. Please no replies as to my smoking, I'll appreciate it. Thank you.
So decide first what you want to do about your JW standing. If your intention is to start over and go back, you should stop coming here. If you don't want to continue, then look for help for your problem, appeal and continue with your life outside the Org.