Posts by AllTimeJeff

12

Lessons Learned....

by AllTimeJeff in

jw
friends

want to briefly address why i am here.. i did say i was done with jw forums.

and i am in a sense.

i would like to announce a couple of things.

AllTimeJeff

Oh yeah, some other things... Lessons learned, not "AllTimeJeff" rant, right? (ok, stop giggling...)

Lessons

First and foremost, if you are so unhappy since leaving that you are in some way hurting yourself and others, get therapy if you can. If you can't, this forum will offer some great empathetic advice, though not professional.

If you are unhappy since you left JW's, its not because they were right. You were unhappy while you were in too, remember? And if you joined up, you were unhappy before you joined more then likely. So chances are, you are perpetually unhappy, and its just because you have other issues worth exploring. *professional help!!* (I don't mean that to be mean, but sometimes, unhappiness isn't out there, its in us...)

Jehovah's Witnesses will not be "brought down" in the next 20-30 years.... We know their prophecies will change again. Probably its good we all got out when we did....

Forgive. Forgive yourself. If you have been really wronged, you don't need to forgive, but you do need to deal with the anger somehow.

Get to know yourself, and give yourself time to do so.

You will grow. You will change.

If you don't grow or change, thats alright too. I probably won't believe that if you tell me that, but hey, if thats your story, stick to it!

Education is a great thing. Try it.

Therapy is a great thing. Try it.

You are going to stumble and fail at times if you leave. That doesn't mean you are a failure. Your success in life isn't dependent on anyone's approval other then the person in the mirror.

I think it's really a good thing to think of your experience as a JW as a part of your life that you have moved on from. Having once been a JW is a helluva lot different then being an ex JW.

Lastly, it is my singular goal in life to be as honest as I can with myself. Strangely, I still struggle with that, and I have to make myself be honest at times. I know a lot of what is "honest" can be relative, but most of the time, we can be honest with ourselves as to why we feel the way we do, what we want, why we are here.

Life isn't fair. I really wish Bill Gates could have had a son so I could be rich right now. Didn't happen, so I have to deal with the reality I find myself in. Being honest, or at least trying to be honest, is the only way I know to deal with reality.

At least it is easier behind this keyboard tonight.... :) In real life, more of a challenge to be honest with myself, but thats my goal....

PS: Be happy.

93

Christianity gives you.........umm.......uh.............................................?

by Terry in

that's right, nothing.. you get struck on the cheek and you pony up for the other slap.. your pray for the enemy who wants you face down in the mud with his heel on your neck.. you get treated like pond scum and force a smile and forgive.. abused?

forgive and forget.. need help desperately?

when nothing happens, chalk it up to your unworthiness and lack of faith.. .

AllTimeJeff

In my opinion, what many seem to be angry about isn't the feeling of hope, or the opportunity to reflect and thus "be spiritual" (which is something very rough to define).... I think those are good things.....

Labels suck. If I am a Christian, am I a Ted Haggard Christian? Catholic? Sarah Palin Christian?

Why can't I just follow Jesus? Or imitate him? Or just read the gospels and have my own go at interpreting what they mean to me?

Group think is the danger, and Christians aren't the only one who have to deal with the mob mentality that often trivializes and ridicules minorities. (still) Not that this will change in my lifetime, but we are heading in a decent direction on personal autonomy being more important then what a church says.

What people get upset about are the claims men make. So yeah, if you go to a church, or choose to identify yourself as a nominal Christian, to a certain degree, there is baggage that comes with it, about 2000 years worth or so of it.

But even at that point, it has to be allowed that amazing changes in the liberalization of attitudes have occurred regarding religions and churches in the last 200 years. So while I agree with much of what Terry said here, Terry, there is an evolving of what it means to be a Christian today.

Don't read too much into that for me. I am reporting what I see. I didn't get a revelation or anything.... ;)

12

Lessons Learned....

by AllTimeJeff in

jw
friends

want to briefly address why i am here.. i did say i was done with jw forums.

and i am in a sense.

i would like to announce a couple of things.

AllTimeJeff

Hello all. Want to briefly address why I am here.

I did say I was done with JW forums. And I am in a sense. I would like to announce a couple of things. For one, I am just a person who happened at one point in his life to be a JW. I used to be a JW. I am not an ex JW. It is no longer a label.

I have no desire to get involved with anything that will bring down JW's. (allowing for the fact that actually talking about things like facts, truths, feelings, etc really does chip away at them)

I am here now to comment on things that interest me in topics. I doubt very seriously that I will be posting interesting new topics on JW's anymore. While I totally respect that others will obviously do that here, I am very bored with the entire thing. I have said all I can say about JW's. Comment, sure. Start things, not really.... Proving JW's are wrong is easier then proving that Brittney Spears lip syncs. If you put emotionalism aside, most people don't care about JW's. I care about the people inside, and some here on the forum. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't be here now. It is about people, not a group of people, if that makes sense.

It is my firm opinion that if JW's didn't exist, some other similar group would. Cults, high control groups, whatever you want to call them, have been and always will be around. It was my super duper great luck that I happened to be born into a family of JW's. Yay. I used to ask myself when I was a teen and into my twenties if I weren't born a JW, would I have picked them? The answer, happily, is no.

I do think my best contributions will be on the odd topic that catches my eye. If someone wants to argue, I can't say I won't occasionally debate, given my past history. But I am pretty sure I am done with that too. I know that there are billions of people in the world who feel certain ways. I don't delude myself that they exist, or that my getting upset on an occasional internet forum will change much.

Besides, if you disagree with me, aren't you just a D-bag with a keyboard? Just like me?

Politics? Opinions? We all got em. Most in my opinion are not realistic or pragmatic. Mine included. And believe it or not, my opinions have changed somewhat on politics. And Religion. But not by that much..... And it is probably not going to be something I will share too much....

I guess I am still here just to be here. I actually enjoy posting here. I took myself way too seriously at times, but that was to be expected. If you don't, who else will, right?

But for those who are leaving JW's, I guess one of those things you will have to gauge as to whether or not you are "recovered" is your sense of humor. How seriously you take yourself. The need for "revenge", or "justice". I have an opinion or two on that as well, and I will share that as respectfully as I can when appropriate.

In any case, I needed the break away. I apologize for the attention a couple of my last threads got prior to this one. I wasn't trying to be an attention whore. But, I just wanted to get the above off my chest, to say hi, and poke around a bit.

Cheers!

16

The Journey Continues.... :)

by AllTimeJeff in

jw
friends

-goodbye yellowbrick road- elton john and bernie taupin.

when are you gonna come down .

when are you going to land .

AllTimeJeff

This is my ultimate fight song. It just makes me want to never quit. And I promise you, I won't ever quit. Ever. - ATJ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocnrPLKbkD0

Just a little more time is all we're asking for
Cause just a little more time could open closing doors
Just a little uncertainty can bring you down
And nobody wants to know you now
And nobody wants to show you how
So if you're lost and on your own
You can never surrender
And if your path won't lead you home
You can never surrender
And when the night is cold and dark
You can see, you can see light
Cause no-one can take away your right
To fight and never surrender

With a little perserverence you can get things down
Without the blind adherence that has conquered some
And nobody wants to know you now
And nobody wants to show you how
So if you're lost and on your own
You can never surrender
And if your path won't lead you home
You can never surrender
And when the night is cold and dark
You can see, you can see light
Cause no-one can take away your right
To fight and never surrender, to never surrender

16

The Journey Continues.... :)

by AllTimeJeff in

jw
friends

-goodbye yellowbrick road- elton john and bernie taupin.

when are you gonna come down .

when are you going to land .

AllTimeJeff

You're Only Human (Second Wind) - Billy Joel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhxjNYvJbgM

You're having a hard time and lately you don't feel so good
You're getting a bad reputation in your neighborhood
It's alright, it's alright
Sometimes that's what it takes
You're only human, you're allowed to make your share of mistakes
You better believe there will be times in your life
When you'll be feeling like a stumbling fool
So take it from me you'll learn more from your accidents
Than anything that you could ever learn at school

Don't forget your second wind
Sooner of later you'll get your second wind

It's not always easy to be living in this world of pain
You're gonna be crashing into stone walls again and again
It's alright, it's alright
Though you feel your heart break
You're only human, you're gonna have to deal with heartache

Just like a boxer in a title fight
You got to walk in that ring all alone
You're not the only one who's made mistakes
But they're the only thing that you can truly call your own

Don't forget your second wind
Wait in that corner until that breeze blows in

You've been keeping to yourself these days
Cause you're thinking everything's gone wrong
Sometimes you just want to lay down and die
That emotion can be so strong
But hold on
Till that old second wind comes along

You probably don't want to hear advice from someone else
But I wouldn't be telling you if I hadn't been there myself
It's alright, it's alright
Sometimes that's all it takes
We're only human
We're supposed to make mistakes
But I survived all those long lonely days
When it seemed I did not have a friend
Cause all I needed was a little faith
So I could catch my breath
And face the world again

16

The Journey Continues.... :)

by AllTimeJeff in

jw
friends

-goodbye yellowbrick road- elton john and bernie taupin.

when are you gonna come down .

when are you going to land .

AllTimeJeff

Walk On - U2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwKEdFoUB0o

And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring...
And love is not the easy thing...
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind

And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on
What you got they can’t steal it
No they can’t even feel it
Walk on, walk on...
Stay safe tonight

You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom

Walk on, walk on
What you've got they can't deny it
Can’t sell it, can’t buy it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight

And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Home... hard to know what it is if you’ve never had one
Home... I can’t say where it is but I know I'm going home
That's where the hurt is

I know it aches
How your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress up
All that you scheme...

16

The Journey Continues.... :)

by AllTimeJeff in

jw
friends

-goodbye yellowbrick road- elton john and bernie taupin.

when are you gonna come down .

when are you going to land .

AllTimeJeff

Love you all!

I'm Still Standing - John and Taupin

You could never know what it's like
Your blood like winter freezes just like ice
And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you
You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use And did you think this fool could never win
Well look at me, I'm coming back again
I got a taste of love in a simple way
And if you need to know while I'm still standing you just fade away Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah Once I never could hope to win
You starting down the road leaving me again
The threats you made were meant to cut me down
And if our love was just a circus you'd be a clown by now

16

The Journey Continues.... :)

by AllTimeJeff in

jw
friends

-goodbye yellowbrick road- elton john and bernie taupin.

when are you gonna come down .

when are you going to land .

AllTimeJeff

-Goodbye Yellowbrick Road- Elton John and Bernie Taupin

When are you gonna come down
When are you going to land
I should have stayed on the farm
I should have listened to my old man

You know you can't hold me forever
I didn't sign up with you
I'm not a present for your friends to open
This boy's too young to be singing the blues

So goodbye yellow brick road
Where the dogs of society howl
You can't plant me in your penthouse
I'm going back to my plough

Back to the howling old owl in the woods
Hunting the horny back toad
Oh I've finally decided my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road

What do you think you'll do then
I bet that'll shoot down your plane
It'll take you a couple of vodka and tonics
To set you on your feet again

Maybe you'll get a replacement
There's plenty like me to be found
Mongrels who ain't got a penny
Sniffing for tidbits like you on the ground

So goodbye yellow brick road
Where the dogs of society howl
You can't plant me in your penthouse
I'm going back to my plough

Back to the howling old owl in the woods
Hunting the horny back toad
Oh I've finally decided my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road

6

6 weeks of Dear Lee

by Lady Lee in

jw
friends

i can barely believe it has gone so fast but i have finished my 6th week of dear lee over at freeminds.

there are a few readers daily which makes me want to continue.. each daily column covers an aspect of counseling post-jw or recovery issues and i am always looking for new questions so feel free to post them and i will get to them in the near future.

you might want to check to see if your question is already there first though.. also responses to the columns are welcome.

AllTimeJeff

Lee, I have given thought to starting a thread on the practical aspects of a JW exit.

For example, many/most former JW's have much to learn in the way of money management, credit and what affects credit scores, (admittedly, it seems most of the US population missed that memo in 2009), real estate, college, kinds of college, etc.

While there are many former JW's who do suffer from debilitating mental illness, my guess is, most are confused as to whats next, and how to pragmatically incorporate themselves into the world they find themselves in. (they probably wouldn't use the words I chose, but I hope you catch my drift...)

247

Adults with imaginary friends are stupid.

by alice.in.wonderland in

here on jehovahs-witness.net i have come across theists, atheists and those that are agnostic that all claim to be friends because they're ex-witnesses like it is all that is needed for religious unity.. .

why isn't this on the ad?.

because every atheist i've talked to believes jehovah's witnesses are just another organization of stupid adults with imaginary friends, just a splinter of mainstream christianity a lot like the branch davidians.

AllTimeJeff

This is simple information and it's coherent enough. Maybe you don't understand the different mindsets relative to a supreme being.

Oh, thats it. Yeah.... Thanks for clearing that up.