Posts by AllTimeJeff

10

SO WHAT if I don't know what ARMAGEDDON means?

by Nathan Natas in

.

AllTimeJeff

They still doing 1914? That aged well....

20

My fade. Phase 2.

by Beth Sarim in

about to move from ''irregular'' status to ''inactive''.. after 6 months of not handing a field service report since the end of june, i will be recognized as ''inactive''.

there could be 'questions' coming my way.. after having read ''crisis of conscience'' last spring, i could no longer ''actively'' preach or believe the wbts conscientiously.

i could no longer fake hours by putting the 'slip' in the field service box.

AllTimeJeff

I was an elder and Gilead stooge, so when I read CoC, I instantly recognized it as 100% true. That was the final nail in a mostly finished coffin.

Whatever game you play to fade and seem to stay in, play it well. You don't owe them a thing. And if by chance, the game is claiming too much of you, don't be afraid to consider just flat out resigning.

Your fade will ultimately depend on your local elders and local JW culture. Which does vary greatly. Otherwise, best of luck to you!

18

What's The Point?

by AllTimeJeff in

jw
friends

it's been 12 years since i submitted my resignation letter, and stopped playing by their rules.. in a spurt of manic rationality, i blew up the bridge, sky high.

knowing that the diseased organ would need to be forever removed, away from anything remotely functional in my mind, body, and soul.

lest i be tempted to return.... so, i left.

AllTimeJeff

It's been 12 years since I submitted my resignation letter, and stopped playing by their rules.

In a spurt of manic rationality, I blew up the bridge, sky high. Knowing that the diseased organ would need to be forever removed, away from anything remotely functional in my mind, body, and soul. Lest I be tempted to return...

So, I left. And you did too, or are trying to leave. Or have left in mind and soul, but the body has to be there for all kinds of reasons faders must endure.

I feel motivated to write this because I believe, even if it is on some very small level, that the desire to leave comes back to the most basic of human drives. To find and have true purpose and meaning. To be autonomous, even though anyone who leaves a cult, or wants to, is amazingly ill equipped at first to be autonomous. And that, is truly courageous.

Watching Leah Remini's interview with those brave people who left our fruity little cult reminded me of the courage it is to expand your elbows in this world, and claim just the space you need to breathe. And boy, does the GB work like hell to trick you into thinking you shouldn't be thinking... You can't take a mental breath when the WTBTS wants to claim every last minute you spend thinking about the next FS interaction, meeting, comment, and of course, all those "nasty" thoughts that only YHWH can see...

It takes courage to call bull shit. But what then?

The key is being healthy. The key is thinking healthy.

I write this because I want to plead with anyone who struggles with distorted images of themselves to get help. Real therapy. It doesn't have to involve medication, though it might. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is great, and can help someone reframe the crap you learned, and how you view yourself, into something that is truly whole, and balanced.

Remember, especially if you were a born in, you likely have decades of conditioning. It is the last thing from a death sentence, but it does require a commitment to (as Yoda put it) "unlearn what you have learned"... ;)

If we can get as many exiting, recovering, ex JW's to work on their mental health, then we win. YOU win. Because in the final analysis, the only real power that the Governing Body ever had on you, was the real estate space they counted on taking up between your ears.

Evict them. Replace it with true mental help.

As a start, because many exiting JW's can't afford real therapy at first, try books like "Feeling Good" by David Burns. (the dude is a real mental health professional, not a snake oil salesman "life coach") Just try it. Work through it. And know that you will get there.

What's the point? That you win, and the Governing Body loses. The football field is in your mind. Take it back, and it really doesn't matter about them anymore. YOU WIN YOU BACK. Go get it!

Much love to all. From someone who has the scars to show for it, and the smile at the end.... :)

20

Disassociation experiences please

by UnshackleTheChains in

hi everyone.. i would love to collate the experiences of those who decided to disassociate.

the reason i am asking this question is that i have been in turmoil for a very long time as to whether i remain a fader or whether to bring closure on my membership with the watchtower organisation.. it is for this reason i would like to read about some of the experiences of those on this forum who went down the route of disassociation.

if could answer the following.

AllTimeJeff

Hi there. This is a pet peeve thing with me. I don't use their language. I resigned from their cult. They chose to disassociate with me.

How long did it take you to decide to disassociate?

After coming back from my missionary trip to Cameroon, I decided to leave. I stayed long enough to see if my ex-wife was worth trying to rescue. I quickly enough realized that she wasn't.

How has this impacted on you?

I have 10 years of posts you can look up on the effect it had on me. But it has been worth it big time. I have a life of my choosing, hard fought but well worth it.

Has your mental health in any way been affected since you disassociated? Eg if being shunned by family.

Only at the funeral of my grandfather, which I attended at a KH and caused a 10 minute paralyzing panic attack. Then I got pissed and walked out defiantly before the song. Everyone's mileage will differ on this, but my JW family isn't the lighthouse for my mental health.

Do any of your current JW relatives associate with you? And if so to what degree?

None.

Do you feel your life is better now that you are completely free of the watchtower?

HELL YES.

Do you ever get panic attacks about Armageddon or that you left "the truth"?

No. I had a panic attack before I married my ex JW wife, and at my grandfathers funeral. That was about it.

25

Nowadays How Does One Become An Elder?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i was appointed jan 1 1980 and back then it was a big deal to“qualify”.

i was the youngest elder appointed in the district!

i actually studied everything from the societies publications and listened to anything i was told to do.

AllTimeJeff

In spite of all the changes in WT policy and how CO's are used.... I think that the influence you have on the local elder body and the CO still matter most to get appointed... And how desperate certain congregations/circuits need

If you want to be an elder, make sure you have outdoor plumbing... ;) Make great comments without quite reading them from the WT, go out in FS, support EVERYTHING the elders say, and you will eventually be an elder. Once appointed, you get to read depressing, soul sucking letters from the branch office, deal with pedophile cases involving more soul sucking letters from the GB, sit in on judicial committees that make you question what the f*ck you were thinking, have 2-3 meeting parts a week that at first, you initially prepare the hell out of, but then get in a routine where you realize that practically reading a WT article from the platform will save you hours of time and you can get on with the mundane existence you have sadly settled on... Don't forget to pretend you care at your next CO's visit!!

Geez, that's depressing. My advice, don't become an elder.... ;)

It isn't holy spirit, it's influence. Which is, from what I have gathered from a hearty reading of the NWT, is what holy spirit really is. Influence on a persons mind.

If you perceive this influence to be "god", you're a JW on the way to whatever you think you're getting.

If you perceive JW's a cult, then influence is not holy spirit, JW's influence is based on WT articles and "Kingdumb Melodies" that make you feel good that you believe some really peculiar bullshit. Also you may want inordinate power, and have occasional delusions of grandeur. You wouldn't be the first...

Having been sucked into this whole thing, and having the borg take advantage of my natural ambition, I am not particularly kind to how they manipulate young men into their leadership circle jerk,but I realize that nothing will change that.

18

My Reflections On a Year of Freedom

by Saethydd in

in late may 2017, i told my parents how i really felt about the religion they had raised me in, and by early june i was out of their house.

i've done a lot since then.

i let my hair and beard grow out a bit.

AllTimeJeff

My good man,

Congratulations. I just read this. What I am happy about for you is that you figured it out at a young age.

I want to be up front with you about one thing, you will miss your family. I hesitate to share this, because honestly, I sort of like the Star Trek thing where I don't mess with your universe. (also, GoT rocks)

These are some random lessons I learned, especially since my mom and brother are no more, and my dad's brain is also no more.

Love your family. Forgive them soon.And know that ultimately, they can get on board your boat, or not get on at all. But sail away nevertheless Anger is like 1st gear in a car, it is only healthy to get you moving in a different direction. Switch gears when you get up to speed. Love is a lower RPM that makes going longer distances easier.

Set boundaries. If you want to know what I mean by that, read a Brene Brown book.

Understand that you're still growing and learning about yourself. Don't apologize for that. Don't engage in self destructive behavior as you do so.

You are way ahead of most people who leave this cult. You don't owe ex-JW's anything. But if you wish to share, it's always appreciated.

Appreciate the wisdom of older ones.

Value your own wisdom.

Good luck to you!

40

Screwed up sexually

by purrpurr in

jw
friends

i was thinking about how the borg screws up and sexually neuters their flock by telling them when single to "deaden their body" and then boom as soon as there's a ring on the finger to not be denying eachother.. do any of you know of jws who have been screwed up by these teachings?

i know 2, 1 elder came back from honeymoon having a nervous breakdown unable to cope with the cd that sex produced in his head.

and the other called up her parents while on honeymoon, crying and begging for themto come and get her, since she was so shocked that sex hurt.

AllTimeJeff

Read all of this. I don't have a whole lot I want to share indelibly on the internet, but suffice to say, the GB's attempt at controlling sexuality at all levels has been one of the most offensive things about the cult to me. As an elder appointed at 26, I had to listen to stuff that frankly, was none of my damn business. But it was YHWH's, so, there ya go.

I mean, have you met the Governing Body? Have you ever wondered why they don't have kids? It ain't that difficult to figure folks... These guys are real Richards.... but I digress.

In all seriousness, my heart breaks that such a sensitive and private part of a person must be introduced to an invisible "god" that only exists in your mind. And who will kill you, or reprove you, or whatever, over how you use your genitalia. Good luck getting over that without therapy.... Meaning, get some help. It'll be good for you. :)

14

Why a Belief or Non Belief in the existence of "A God" or "The God" is Futile {In My Opinion}

by smiddy3 in

because their are so many different god`s worshiped in the world today and none of them have made themselves known to us in this 21st century for all of mankind to see and verify .. all of the gods worshiped today are from hundreds and even thousands of years ago derived from ancient writings and texts in languages that are no longer in use today.. that of course brings up problems of another sort translating an ancient language into its modern day equivalent.. and nobody is in total agreement that such translations are accurate or correct anyway.. and their is no god coming to the rescue of translators to say which is the right interpretation.

they are mute.. i`m not just talking about christianity/ judaism either, the same goes for all non christian religions too.. its a total cop out to say one must have faith to believe in god .

"faith, belief in religious doctrines divine truth without proof" and no verification from any god christian/islam/judaism or otherwise ..

AllTimeJeff

The real truth is that God hasn't shown up at all.

Another inconvenient truth is that history is full of attempts to explain and justify there own behavior, good and bad, by using "God's" will.

You can quote your own scripture to prove god, but what does that prove, or even mean to someone who doesn't believe? Who can't, because there simply is no evidence?

Should we take your word for it? Your holy books word for it?

When will mankind learn from history that "god" is a no show? (I am not overly optimistic about this)

I think that faith always is and should be private. Even when religion has been mandated, there is no doubt that not everyone agreed. When you are forced to believe, is that even faith?

Faith can be a great thing, and I am not arguing against that. But please, stop the crap about your "god" being the one true god. I agree with smiddy3.

Believe what you want. Don't insist on it. If I don't believe your way, am I condemned? If so, move on with your little person thinking...

33

Governing Body trying to control marital relationships

by Whynot in

4 years ago during the circuit overseers visit he asked a rather innapropriate question from the platform.

i say it's innapropriate because i think it's wrong to tell happy married couples how to love each other and much more wrong it is to tell them they should love their children less.. he said: "mothers, who should you love more your children or your husband?

" i think most mothers will quickly say you should love your children more.

AllTimeJeff

I was made an elder at 26. And got to give marital advice, straight from the elders handbook! What wisdom I had.

Of course, I had ZERO business offering anyone advice back then. Fast forward a few years later when I was getting ready to leave. One of the things I wanted to get a feel for was, would be my ex JW wife get the elders involved in our marital life? Would I have any semblance of privacy and dignity? Because long ago, I determined I would never meet with the elders for judicial proceedings, or even marital counsel.

One thing I know hasn't changed is that the JW religion isn't interested in anything but its own power. They especially aren't interested in women. So many elder meetings, with misogynistic comments and points of views shared. The women are there for the men. It's as sickly simple as that.

One thing I quickly learned to despise as an elder was how much influence they have over marital matters that should be private. It is disgusting. It's even worse when an elder or CO feels they can say what they want about this. Total mental illness.

56

Spiritual "Protection" - a Menace on Psychological Development

by Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho in

not quite a week ago, @lost in the fog created a thread entitled: do you have this illness?.

https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5187824140681216/do-you-have-this-illness.

in my year of being on this forum, i have browsed many a disillusioned thread of ex-jehovah’s witnesses expressing similar symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder when detailing their awakening - my own story included.

AllTimeJeff

This..... So true OTWO

JW's don't really have opinions. They are used to looking to their Watchtower library to see what they are supposed to think about issues.