Congratulations!!!! CRR,
Hope your marriage lasts for a long, long time.
Shame on you, Vinny!!! hee hee
Love and hugs,
Gramma Velta
Eliveleth
JoinedPosts by Eliveleth
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39
I'm scared everyday...
by 4mylove ini'm scared everyday that i will lose my husband to this cult.. i'm scared everyday that i will offend my dear friend because of my bitterness with this cult.. i'm scared everyday that my husband will choose to go back to studying and become active again.. i'm scared everyday that my life will crumble after working so hard to build the wonderful relationship that i have.. i'm scared everyday that his family will eventually say that they cannot associate with him anymore unless he goes back.. i'm scared everyday he'll choose.
i'm scared everyday that i'll never have a family of my own because of this stupid cult.
i won't bring innocent lives into this shit.. i'm scared everyday that i'll give up.. i'm scared evertday that he'll be gone.. i'm scared they will convince him.
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Eliveleth
4mylove,
I think Carla said it best. Love him, pray for him, but get on with your life. You cannot control how he is, only you.
Go out and make friends, volunteer, have fun. If you believe in God, trust Him. Give ths problem to Him and let Him deal with it.
Since you cannot do anything about it, do not let it eat you up.
I have a prayer on my wall it says: God give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can and
The wisdom to know the difference.
This advice has done well by me. Some things are beyond our ability to change and we just have to let it go.
My heart goes out to you. I used to live in fear too. It hurts.
Love and hugs,
Velta
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39
Newbies - Tell Us What You Dealing with - Getting out of the Witnesses
by flipper inhello newbies and all others !
with all of the newbies the last few months joining the board i wanted to provide a thread for them to express what stresses they are going through in exiting the jehovah's witness cult .
so please all newbies- we are happy you are here , tell us what you are going through , and some of us will help if we are able to.
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Eliveleth
Hi Velta - Anger can be a very good thing can't it? It can motivate us to take action when courage alone wouldn't be enough. The important thing I am wrestling with is not to remain angry with myself. I have to forgive myself. (even though I keep thinking "How did I believe so much CRAP!! for so many years? What was I thinking???")
I have been going through the grieving process for some months now, and I try and remember a saying I know - "This too shall pass". I try and picture what my life will be like in years to come - a happy and free life! Actually, I already feel a lot happier than I ever did when I was a jw. The meetings used to depress me. The small talk before and after the meetings with false christians used to depress me. Selling literature door to door used to depress me. The endless demands and rules of men used to depress me. Now, I have a growing sense of freedom. It's so very gratifying to be a christian just following Bible guidelines, free of the shackles of men who tried to imprison me.
Anger is a good motivator, but it passes. When I was a witness, one of the things that I hated most was going from door to door. I got physically ill each time I forced myself to go. However, I thought that I was pleasing God when I did, so I did. I know that God received my "sacrifice".
I got a phone call (anonymous) when we first left from someone who angrily said: "If this is not the truth, why did you stay so long?" I don't know the answer to that. But I do believe that God had a hand in it. Who knows what my life would have been like without Him, and since none of my family were church goers, I am sure I would not have even known God. I just thank Him for what He did for me and my family and is still doing.
We went to church for about 15 years after we left the WTand were disillusioned by all the other "organized" religions as well. Now we just serve God every day. Live lives that His word shows us and let Him be Lord. We are happier than we ever were inside an organization. Life gets better and better when you let Jesus guide you. There is total freedom in Him.
I just live my life each day, asking God to show me His will and then just do whatever shows up in my life. I trust Him to do what He promises, that if we "seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness" He will provide everything we need.
Love and hugs,
Velta
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39
Newbies - Tell Us What You Dealing with - Getting out of the Witnesses
by flipper inhello newbies and all others !
with all of the newbies the last few months joining the board i wanted to provide a thread for them to express what stresses they are going through in exiting the jehovah's witness cult .
so please all newbies- we are happy you are here , tell us what you are going through , and some of us will help if we are able to.
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Eliveleth
Wildfell,
I know the feeling. When I found out by reading the Kingdom Interlinear Translation the truth was that they had not "used one English word for each Greek word" I was very angry. This anger was what started me on the way out. I think it is one of the steps we have to take to heal. There is anger, sorrow, humiliation for being so stupid, and many other emtions that we go through. I was very angry that I had been a JW for almost 50 years and did not see the obvious. I was a great "studier", but only of JW publications. I did a lot of research in the Strongs Concordance, but it didn't hit me. I found that in order to really see the truth, you must ask for Holy Spirit. The minute I did that, my eyes began to see. Luke 11:11-13.
Welcome to the group. I hope you will find kindred spirits here that will help you heal.
Love and hugs,
Velta
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115
My story: "Pop!" goes the Little Circuit Breaker
by TJ - iAmCleared2Land ini guess it's about time i write my story.
i've put this off for a long time... primarily becuase, while i thought my story was bad, i've read so many worse and heart-rending stories here.
i think, though, there is some therapeutic value in 'letting it all out' with others who know what 'it' was like.
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Eliveleth
Dear, dear TJ,
I would love to grab those little children to my heart and hug them. Children should not have to go through all this hatred and abuse!!! I pray that you can and will forgive them. Not for them, but for you. I was abused by my father and I had a mother who loved me but was programmed to be the doormat wife that the WT teaches women to be. My abused was nothing compared to yours. I carried a lot of hatred for him for many years. When I learned to forgive him, I experienced a heavy load off my shoulders and heart. I am an old lady now, but I still remember the pain. And when I hear stories like yours, it brings it back. I believe that what happened to me made me into the person I am today. I look back and see where how I was treated changed me and it was mostly for the good. It made me stronger and more compassionate for the problems of other people. You can be assured that God sees and will repay for all the good and all the evil that happens. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to put yourself in the presence of your persecutors. The greatest revenge is living a peaceful and happy life.
I love you TJ. May God pour out His blessing on you.
Love and hugs,
Velta
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115
My story: "Pop!" goes the Little Circuit Breaker
by TJ - iAmCleared2Land ini guess it's about time i write my story.
i've put this off for a long time... primarily becuase, while i thought my story was bad, i've read so many worse and heart-rending stories here.
i think, though, there is some therapeutic value in 'letting it all out' with others who know what 'it' was like.
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Eliveleth
TJ,
My heart goes out to you!!! Emotional abuse, in my opinion, is the worst! Some have endured it all physical,emotional,sexual and spiritual. There are worse stories out there than yours, but every person is hurt by what they have to endure. In a child's heart, the hurt from rejection is far worse than a blow. Your abuse was real and you cannot compare it to others. As I read your story, I could feel your hurt. I went through that too. I was never beaten, but it probably would have hurt less.
I think writing your story is very therapeutic. I think everyone should do this, even if they only do it for themselves. It is good to be able to finally say out loud what has happened to you and not have to keep it bottled up inside. It is also encouraging to others.
I pray that God will touch your life and draw you close to Him. He loves you and His heart hurt for you when all this happened. I have a song by Sally Klein O'Connor in which there is a line "when the deed was done unto you, I was there". God knows us. God will heal you from all the hurt if you let Him.
Love and hugs,
Velta
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upon the altar of evil
by chickpea inso i have already mentioned that i am a member/mod on a forum for survivors of csa..... it is at best, disturbing, and at worst, horrifying, to have to daily access the telling of truths that illuminate the unlimited, intentional and unbelievable evil people will perpetrate on those most vulnerable, the children and it is also most rewarding to assist those souls on their healing paths as they sift thru the debris and literal carnage to reclaim something of themselves.
most often i am able to keep it in perspective and hold it all at arm's length..... but this afternoon there was a thread about cults, sra linked, and there was discussion about participation in *fferings, and the guilt and shame and body memories that rob individuals of any real peace...... it twisted my guts and led me to tears...... i cannot imagine the horror of that legacy..... and while the borg doesnt demand fleshly *fferings, i could not help but make the leap that they demand the sl@ughter of family ties and relationships to appease their savage god in order to keep his/their followers in dread and paralyzing fear, brainwashing and programming members to respond to "c@ll b@cks" and cues as they march in lockstep chanting their anthems of paradise and anointed and resurrection hopes.
it has become almost unbearably clear to me how evil the leadership truly is and i am sick to my core that my hope, my intent, my fervent wish to "save my children from the world" instead served to strangle their very spirits and warp their world view.... i unknowingly *ffered them to the borg and now truly understand ..... mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa......
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Eliveleth
Chickpea,
God knows you heart. He know what your motive was in bringing your children into the WT org. He will save your children. I prayed for years that God would free my son from the captivity of the WT. He died this November of a heart attack. I know in my heart that he is in heaven with Jesus, because God knows that his heart was totally for God. You do not have to blame yourself. God is able to save.
Love and hugs,
Velta
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Help me choose
by Abandoned ini want to upload a headshot for this writing group i belong to.
help me choose which one to use:.
do you think normal, ink, paint, drawing, or soften looks better?.
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Eliveleth
Personally, I like "paint"
Love and hugs,
Velta
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39
Newbies - Tell Us What You Dealing with - Getting out of the Witnesses
by flipper inhello newbies and all others !
with all of the newbies the last few months joining the board i wanted to provide a thread for them to express what stresses they are going through in exiting the jehovah's witness cult .
so please all newbies- we are happy you are here , tell us what you are going through , and some of us will help if we are able to.
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Eliveleth
Oompa said: I have been really depressed and tried to get help, but the bottle is so much more effective, cheaper....at least temporarlly.
I have been there. For many years as a Jehovah's Witness, I was an alcoholic. My husband and I could put away a fifth a night if it was not a meeting night. We did not think we were alcoholics, but every evening we would start to drink at about 4 oclock. (See we could wait till then and not drink during the day) One day we were at another elder's house (My husband was an elder from 1945-1981.) We started drinking in the afternoon and in the evening when we went home, I realized that I did not remember anything about that afternoon. I asked my husband how I had acted and he said normal. (Of course he had been drinking too so it might have seemed normal to him even if it wasn't) I realized at that time that I had a REAL problem and that I had to do something about it. But what? I couldn't go to a worldly counsellor, I sure as heck couldn't go to another elder as it would put my husband's eldership in jeopary, and I did not know that I could ask for Holy Spirit for help. WHAT TO DO? I remembered that in the Old Testament a person could make a vow to Jehovah. I knew that if I did I would have to keep it because the Bible says: "He who makes a vow must keep it" or displease Jehovah. I started out by making this vow for a week (I was afraid I would not be able to not drink and I wanted to cover myself) I also figured that drinking was a habit and if I stopped for a while I would be able to go back and drink sensibly) Boy was that a laugh. As soon as the time was over, I would immediately go back to over drinking. I COULD NOT HELP MYSELF! I gradually built up, a week, two weeks, a month, a year. At the end of the year, I really thought I could handle it. I immediately drank too much and passed out. That was when I realized that I could never drink again. I immediately took a vow to not drink for another year. At the end of that year I told my husband that I was not going to ever drink again. Being that he was my husband and the OT said that a husband could nullify his wife's vow, he told me to just not drink for another year. I did that and at the end of the next year, I took the same vow and finally have never drank again. By the time I was out of the WT, I did not even desire to drink. By that time, Holy Spirit was guiding my life and I never wanted to drink. My husband, however, continued to drink for several years and finally he quit too. I am not sure what would have happened to me if I had not quit. What I did is not the answer for everyone, but it worked for me. There are lots of programs out there. One of the best that I have seen is the 12-step program that some churches promote, but AA is very good too. Alcohol will destroy your life!!!! It affected my relationship with my children and others. Please Oompa get help for yourself. Drinking does not help. It just makes more problems.
With much love and empathy,
Velta
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Newbies - Tell Us What You Dealing with - Getting out of the Witnesses
by flipper inhello newbies and all others !
with all of the newbies the last few months joining the board i wanted to provide a thread for them to express what stresses they are going through in exiting the jehovah's witness cult .
so please all newbies- we are happy you are here , tell us what you are going through , and some of us will help if we are able to.
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Eliveleth
Flipper - Such a good thing to post. I know there are a lot of people out there who have not resolved their problems and sometimes there is not a place to post them.
OMG - When we leave the WT, we are all confused because we actually are "still in the WT" in the sense that we still believe most of what they told us. What does the Bible tell us is the way to be saved?
Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved!!! Does it say that you have to follow a bunch of rules? NO! It says BELIEVE. By this I don't mean that you can take lightly what the Bible says in other places, but I believe that faith in Jesus' sacrifice will give you salvation. The way I found that the WT was not God's organization was: One day we were reading the Bible (Just the Bible, not with the WT or any of their literature) It was the New World Translation and we came across the place in Luke 11:11--13 where it says: "Indeed, which father is there among you who, if his son asks for a fish, will perhaps hand him a serpent, instead of a fish? Or if he also asks for an egg, will hand him a scorpion? Therefore if you, although being wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more so will the Father in heaven give holy spirit to those asking him!" This jumped out of the page and hit me!!! I could ask for Holy Spirit and the Father would give it to me? This changed my life. I began to read the Bible and see the truth! I could see what the Bible was saying, not some man's interpretation. ASK AND YOU WILL RECEIVE, SEEK AND YOU WILL FIND. God is good. He will show you if you ask.
Love and hugs,
Velta