Fame is a powerful drug even in small doses. I am going to hop over the line on this one.
It is human nature to want to be accepted and appreciated, but in some personality types, they get a taste of fame and crave it. There is a tipping point where conversation and posting is less about talking about things that are important to them to being tailored in an attempt to get more attention.
Simon and I have butted heads over my feelings here before but I really do think JWN naturally falls into a mold I can only describe as an "Apostate Kingdom Hall".
Anyone spending a good portion of their life in a controlling environment such as the Watchtower is going to pick up bad habits, the extent of which is going to vary based on time in, level of indoctrination, and other very numerous factors.
To think that a community based on, for lack of a better word, "broken" people would not fall into what is familiar is idealistic.
My guess is that Simon really doesn't like the reference because that would put him in the pseudo position of the Governing Body, which really is not a very flattering comparison. As a disclaimer, as I feel I haven't been clear on it before, I am not comparing Simon to the Governing Body. It is not his personality type but it doesn't change how some view and react to him.
A comment Simon made a long time ago was that it should be the goal of every ex-Witness to become an ex-ex-witness. I think that is the base point that I was trying to make.
There are many people here that that you can see as a Watchtower stereotype that every hall had. You have pioneers that seek personal attention, you have elders that strive for recognition and followers, you have company men that will support the establishment rigidly, you have snoops and spies and tattletales all reacting to a social group environment in the only way they know.
Hell, there are even JWN apostates which is laced is so much irony.
That said, there are many here who are ex-ex-Witnesses that are here for the association, here for the memories and here for the social aspect. I am definately not saying that everyone that posts here is trying to recreate a Kingdom Hall environment, but there are enough that have stalled moving on in their life to help others.
That is very dangerous because you never get the chance to heal. Each exposure is ripping the bandaid off anew and opening the wound.
The very long point to this, and where this goes over the line is that I can see Cedars as a 2001 Simon. From my observation, one I will freely admit could be wrong, but Simon found out TTATT and launched into a campaign to raise awareness from which JWD was born. All in all, a good thing that has seriously hurt the Watchtower, but I think it prolonged his own healing. I don't get the feeling that Simon was doing it for self promotion, though accolades (both genuine and flattery) likely would have made it more difficult to step away. I see Cedars as enjoying the personal attention.
At some point, Simon stepped away from JWD for a few years and I think at that point he really became an ex-ex-witness. Opposing the Watchtower is still important, it is a cause worth fighting for, we are all scarred, but some won't let themselves stop bleeding.
For the inevitable blowback I expect this to receive, Cedars, I think you can learn from Simon. You are not the same personality type, it is not the same journey, but you both arrived on the "apostate scene" in a very public way and in my opinion, before either of you had a chance to heal. I am not certain anyone can ever fully heal while attempting to heal others.
I think your heart is in the right place, I think the work you do exposing and highlighting the Watchtower is a good thing, but I also think you care too deeply about recognition and acceptance. If you could find a way to remove your ego from your message, it would be received much better.
My two cents for what it's worth.
