My first indulgence: Giving myself permission to go out to a bar for Karaoke and dancing. My ex-husband would never dance with me, not even at congregation get-togethers. I had SO LOVED dancing before I hooked up with him. Rediscovering that love helped me feel like a real human being again! And I liked the Karaoke places because there are limited options for music/ dancing where I live and, at least with the Karaoke, I'd get a mix of music to dance to.
Posts by J-ex-W
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26When you left......
by nonamegiven inwhat was your first indulgence?
mine is watching all those r-rated movies i missed out on.
man, i'm loving it!
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sex abuse of JW wives--wanting to blow the lid off
by J-ex-W ini'm posting on a new category to generate some discussion on this subject.
i would really like to see this specific subject listed on the home page pull-down menu.
the first time i logged on/ wrote, my entry went under the child sex abuse (cary verse arrested again) category, which is sort of related, but not entirely.
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J-ex-W
I'm posting on a new category to generate some discussion on this subject. I would really like to see this specific subject listed on the home page pull-down menu. The first time I logged on/ wrote, my entry went under the Child Sex Abuse (Cary Verse Arrested Again) category, which is sort of related, but not entirely. I really need to talk with someone who has (or knows someone who has) experienced sex abuse as a JW wife. This is has been my experience, which I described under the child abuse. I am divorced now, but the situation is nowhere near resolved, because of our children and because of [his] extended/ JW family members. I'm getting closer and closer to feeling like I need to stand up and say publicly what I know about him publicly. Really need some feedback and support to guide me through this process! Anyone...please?
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fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome
by reneeisorym ini remember when i was in the dubs, there were tons of sisters all with the same set of mild depression and fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrom symptoms.
i wonder if this was related to the hell jws put you through or if it was just something one woman had to have because the other did.
i haven't heard of hardly anyone having it outside of the dubs but in the congregation about 75% of the women had it!
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J-ex-W
Yep--I had my adult bout with CFS symptoms in the early 90's, too, and the high school exposure to Epstein-Barr (my h.s. boyfriend had it at the time we were dating). A doctor said I had almost all of the tender points associated with fibromyalgia by the mid/ late nineties. Interestingly, though, when my husband at the time left to work out of state for three months--and I no longer had to try to conform my body clock to his and to keep up with super-demanding schedule and expectations--in other words, when I finally started giving my body the restorative SLEEP it needs!!!--my immune system kicked into gear finally and those tender points went away. Once I noticed that, I refused to go back to my previous body-pummelling ways.
I honestly believe I was well on my way to developing a full-blown case of fibromyalgia, and that me getting stubborn (and listening to my body by saying, WHOA, I am not going to keep up this pace anymore, period!) is what prevented me from going over the brink. People forget that DEEP SLEEP is the restorative phase of sleep, critical to proper immune function. If you're getting too few hours, or too poor quality (waking up repeatedly, even for micro-seconds), you're not completing the necessary phases of the sleep cycle and immune function short circuits. Genetic predisposition + exposure to a particular virus + chronically shorted immune systems = Full-blown CFS and/ or fibromyalgia. Many people legitimately DO have the symptoms chronically, but hover just under the clinical radar for diagnosis. A full-blown case in waiting, as it were--just like untended reactive hypoglycemia is waiting to become type II diabetes. [Dietary changes is what's needed to stem the tide there.]
Keeping up the WTS meeting schedule plus ministry plus life will short circuit all but the hardiest immune systems. I say that's why so many JW's have symptoms if not full-blown cases. And BTW, I've known both JW and non-JW sufferers alike.
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Do people think you're a hypochondriac........?
by Frannie Banannie indo people in your family or people you know think you're a hypochondriac?
do you think others who claim illnesses are hypochondriacs?.
i had one of those "state-of-the-art" or "in" health conditions beginning back in the '70's.
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J-ex-W
Sorry, but that statement about your cousin sounds, to me, not fair. Granted, I don't know your cousin, but communicable virus symptoms can and do come on just that fast. They can blow over almost as quickly. I remember being amazed at one such viral run myself as a kid, how I felt perfectly fine one minute, then suddenly symptoms came on hard and were completely resolved within 24 hrs. The only difference is, I found out later that it was going around (rather than before).
And yes, I know about the hypoglycemic stuff, too, and how elusive diagnosis can be--especially if it's the kind called 'reactive hypoglycemia' as opposed to the kind called 'fasting hypoglycemia.' For years, many doctors denied that reactive hypoglycemia is real; they have since learned to recognize it as a precursor to type II diabetes. [Lot of diabetes on both sides of my family, and I have always had reactive hypoglycemia symptoms--which are tied to having too many carbs and not enough protein in your system at a given time.] Reactive hypogycemic people need a very high protein diet/ low carb menu and to eat several small meals/ snacks throughout the day--the exact opposite of our typical American diet. As for fasting hypoglycemia...I'm better off having not eaten for 12 hours or so, as long as I've had enough protein in my system prior to that time, than I am having a high carb [even if it's good carb] ratio to my meal, with symptoms starting either immediately or 2-5 hrs. later.
I think most people who get labeled hypochondriacs are, in truth, dealing with poorly understood or multiple (confounding) health issues simultaneously--as well as very unsupportive community people. And the stress from which, of course, only aggravates the symptoms! Grrrr! Although, it sounds like you are already quite acquainted with this fact.
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sex abuse of wives
by J-ex-W inokay--i think i've got it this time.
i want to start this thread, but my relevant postings are already under child sex abuse "cary verse arrested again" and under friends "sex abuse of wives" as well as scandals and cover-ups "psychopath murderer"-something.
please, if you are interested, read those postings then continue the thread by replying here (under scandals and cover-ups).
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J-ex-W
Okay--I think I've got it this time. I want to start this thread, but my relevant postings are already under Child Sex Abuse "Cary Verse Arrested Again" and under Friends "Sex Abuse of Wives" as well as Scandals and Cover-ups "Psychopath murderer"-something. Please, if you are interested, read those postings then continue the thread by replying here (under Scandals and Cover-ups). Just to rein it in and make it easier. Sorry about that! Thanks.
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JW SERIAL RAPIST MURDERER PSYCHOPATH
by DannyHaszard inconvicted rapist pleads not guilty.
seattle post intelligencer -1 hour ago.
... have him locked away indefinitely at a treatment center for violent sex offenders, but his family and others said he had embraced the jehovah's witness faith ... friday, december 1, 2006convicted rapist pleads not guiltyp-i staffa convicted rapist pleaded not guilty thursday to killing a seattle woman in 2004, less than a year after he was released from prison.
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J-ex-W
Huh? Do you mind restating that? I can't quite make out what was said.
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JW SERIAL RAPIST MURDERER PSYCHOPATH
by DannyHaszard inconvicted rapist pleads not guilty.
seattle post intelligencer -1 hour ago.
... have him locked away indefinitely at a treatment center for violent sex offenders, but his family and others said he had embraced the jehovah's witness faith ... friday, december 1, 2006convicted rapist pleads not guiltyp-i staffa convicted rapist pleaded not guilty thursday to killing a seattle woman in 2004, less than a year after he was released from prison.
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J-ex-W
How interesting how many are ready to testify on behalf of an offender's good character! When I was trying to divorce my abusive ex- and needed witnesses to come speak on my behalf and tell what they knew of my JW husband's bad character, they didn't want to get involved!!! It makes me ill. Just ill. I was the faithful sister who tried to do everything through the proper channels, only to have them stay neutral to a fault when congregational support is what was needed most. My ex- has raped me, BTW, and molested two of his fleshly sisters. Who knows who's next. Unsuspecting congregation sister, I'm sure.
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Cary Verse - known JW Pedophile Arrested Again
by Gerard inconvicted sex offender nabbed after boy found with him in carby bruce gerstman - medianews staffarticle last updated:11/21/2006 07:10:03 am pst.
cary verse, a convicted sex offender, has been arrested on suspicion of violating the conditions of his release.
since leaving jail, verse has become a jehovah's witness who attends bible studies classes.
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J-ex-W
Thank you for your feedback. I have already gone to the police (had two orders for protection during the marriage--two separations/ reconciliations--then didn't bother getting a third one when I knew we were divorcing and he was moving out of state). The problem with reporting the crime now (and even then) is that there is no proof...he said/ she said is all it can get. And the likelihood of him confessing to authorities himself--yeah, right!!! That's part of why I felt his family should be informed. To support his sisters, plural--the one who spoke out and the one still silent--and so the rest of them have a more accurate idea of what kind of a man they are dealing with. By all rights, he should be a registered sex offender, but conviction is so unlikely.
Anyway, how do I start a new thread on here, and am I able to transfer this info over to the new thread without re-writing everything? I know the website doesn't want redudancy. I know what I can say from here: If anyone wants more specific details, I wrote about it last year on www.drphil.com. Go to archived shows, Nov. '05, the one called, "Conception Deception." On that page, search the username "blouic" to read the threads. There are a LOT of postings to sift through but, for some, it may be a real revelation--a very important one.
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How Jw's will begin to 'accept' blood doctrinally.
by AK - Jeff inonce upon a time, blood in any form was rejected by jw's.
then, over time, they morphed the policies to allow some 'fractions' or blood.
this allowed witnesses to get immunizations, treatments for hemophilia, etc.. in the past few years now, the policy is allowing greater 'definition' of 'fractions' - to the point where even bovine rbc's, altered to be called a 'fraction' now, due to processing the hemoglobin from the cells, for use.
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J-ex-W
Ya know, I wish I had had this kind of info before having had a major bloody surgery. I agonized--as an inactive JW, on the edge of leaving but with family members on the inside--about this issue for two years before finally consenting to the much needed [pain-relieving!!!] surgery. I received 4 units of blood--which is a lot, for those who don't know...shows how much blood loss really was involved.
Then my non-JW relative blurts out to a JW relative about the transfusion. I spent the next two months absolutely paranoid about the backlash/ consequences. But I started thinking along the lines of what I now see on the thread here: Conscience matter...I can't see them actively disfellowshipping someone for it...lawsuits, etc. 'Don't ask, don't tell' came to mind too. I'm still not sure if the JW relative caught the comment or not, but now my paranoia/ concern is not about disfellowshipping but about the influence this JW relative [with whom I'm on the outs already, regardless] has over my other JW family members. Already a concern; intensified now if this person is armed with this attitude and this information.
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Cary Verse - known JW Pedophile Arrested Again
by Gerard inconvicted sex offender nabbed after boy found with him in carby bruce gerstman - medianews staffarticle last updated:11/21/2006 07:10:03 am pst.
cary verse, a convicted sex offender, has been arrested on suspicion of violating the conditions of his release.
since leaving jail, verse has become a jehovah's witness who attends bible studies classes.
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J-ex-W
I'm new to this website. I see stuff about sexual abuse of children, but what about sex abuse of JW wives? This is the situation I've been faced with. My ex- would never abuse our children that way but felt absolutely entitled to...well...with me...regardless of my feelings on the matter or even whether or not I was awake. Even if I had a fever, for pete's sake! Besides his getting violent if I stood my ground, No [and giving a contemptuous "It's my due!"], I would wake up to him putting a towel between my legs to catch the drippings, after the fact. I don't worry about the sexual safety of children around him, but the adult single sisters--! If he were ever to get married again, I know his new wife would have the same nightmare problems with him I did.
BTW, he comes from a large family, and a year and a half into our marriage, he confessed to me about having molested one of his sisters for a while as a teenager. And this is not even the sister [sibling] who came forward years ago with accusations of molestation! The whole family dismissed her as a pathological liar. I've always wanted to write her and let her know that I believe her. And let her parents know what I know about my ex- and both his sisters. But I know they would dismiss me as a liar, too, with nefarious motives.
The elders know of the problems I had with him, but with no one having witnessed the individual incidents.... [The 'two witness' rule! Multiple accusers of separate accounts don't count!] There's more I could say, obviously, but at the moment, I'm so disgusted over the whole thing that I need to take a break. Does anyone have any experience/ advice about confronting and/ or informing family members when informing elders has already failed?