Posts by fifi40

17

Could do with a little help

by fifi40 in

jw
friends

cant really explain to much at the mo am emotionally numb but think i may be about to bring an end to my marriage,,,,,,,,,,and inside i am falling apart

Crumpet - You are so right with the friends thing, drinking too much. When I first met Phil I didnt drink, then I tried to keep up with him and his friends, then I thought this is ridiculous and is not making me happy, so now I am very moderate drink. We dont ever drink at home but at social gatherings drink is HUGE on the agenda and that is when the problems arise. It is sad the states and problems that are encounted through to much alcohol. Friday night was another example of this, and the events were pretty horrific and enough I think even to make Phil realise the dangers of excess.

Greendawn - Thanks and I wish he could. I dont understand it either but he does not have a cut off point where he thinks I have had enough. He can just keep going, and the more he drinks the more obnoxious he becomes about it and when you mix this with one or two other people who are the same, it can lead straight to hell. He feels he has to go tea total. He must therefore feel that it is an area he does not have control over and when you dont feel like that it is very difficult to understand. Your wife pointing out that you have had enough and it is time for home, probably doesnt help, but I dont want the aftermath. So he either gives up completely or learns to listen to nagbag wife and respect her judgement, thus avoiding the horrendous complications that can follow.

Sad Emo- Thanks for your PMs and I know. I wont be unhappy in my life. x

17

Could do with a little help

by fifi40 in

jw
friends

cant really explain to much at the mo am emotionally numb but think i may be about to bring an end to my marriage,,,,,,,,,,and inside i am falling apart

fifi40

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers

Didnt come on line yesterday as I was upset and having deep discussions with hubby and we my sister was over to support me and a few friends.

I have expalined in a few PMs To various of you that it was a drink related problem on Friday. Basically my hubby and I have a very happy marriage, but very occassionally hubby goes on a bender and does not have a cut off point when it comes to alcohol and then sometimes things get ugly. He only drinks very rarely but being a Scot he thinks he can drink for Scotland when he does. Needless to say Friday was the most spectacularly ugly and horrible night and I had had enough. I had left him in the pub at ten, despite asking him to come home and then things got out of control. I cant go into all the details because they were horrific and awful, but it invovled other friends.

Anyway we are working at fixing things now, he wants to become tea total, so its fingers crossed. I will keep you posted.

Thanks for all your thoughts

Fi

17

Could do with a little help

by fifi40 in

jw
friends

cant really explain to much at the mo am emotionally numb but think i may be about to bring an end to my marriage,,,,,,,,,,and inside i am falling apart

fifi40

I cant seem to cry at the moment James,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,just feel totally lost

17

Could do with a little help

by fifi40 in

jw
friends

cant really explain to much at the mo am emotionally numb but think i may be about to bring an end to my marriage,,,,,,,,,,and inside i am falling apart

fifi40

Cant really explain to much at the mo am emotionally numb but think I may be about to bring an end to my marriage,,,,,,,,,,and inside I am falling apart

42

INTELLIGENT ANSWERS to STUPID QUESTIONS. Give yours!

by Terry in

1.what color is four?.

2. can you be enraged and outraged at the same time?.

3. is life being "broadcast" by the universe and we are merely "tuned" to our own particular channel?.

fifi40

1. Its black (on this occasion).

2. If you changed your name by deed poll.

3.I dont think the universe has a current broadcasting license.

4. Urm possibly the sea shore.

33

Jehovah's great justice

by Zico in

in the beginning .

jehovah created millions and millions of angels.

jehovah created 2 humans.

fifi40

Stark thank you for your response, but this leads me to further questions or confusion over this whole issue

Ok they are humanly perfect, and even if I allow for the fact that something that is perfect has the ability to be flawed also, it does not stand god in a good light that he needed these two human beings to prove that they loved him. They didnt ask to be created and in his creating of them, he also created 'sin' or the ability to sin. If he gave them freedom to choose; why not let them have just that, the freedom to choose. As a result of needing to be loved, admired, worshipped by the things HE had created he then allowed for them to be sent down a route that would cause suffering, immense hardship, loss of life, tradgedy, sorrow and acts of horrendous evil to befall them and any of their offspring. How can one possibly connect this to a god of love. It makes no sense. It appears he is basically having a game of chess with satan and we are the pieces on his board.

What words of comfort can a believer in this god give to a parent who has just lost their child to a serious illness, to a wife who has lost her husband because of a war or to the millions that starve to death each year?

He is basically saying I created you with the ability to choose but I want to decide how you choose, and if you dont do it my way for some of you I am going to make life unbearable and horrific?

I created you with the ability to sin and if you do sin, despite the fact that I created you or made you that way and you had no choice in the matter, I am going to punish you severley.

How does this add up to a God of love or a forgiving god?

33

Jehovah's great justice

by Zico in

in the beginning .

jehovah created millions and millions of angels.

jehovah created 2 humans.

fifi40

Further questions for Stark

If humans were made perfect and in gods image, how you could they act in an imperfect way? If they are flawed but made in Gods image, does this mean God is potentially flawed also? Why did he create them perfect and then set out to test their perfection? Why did he feel the need to answer Satans supposed questioning of mans need of God, in such a long and perverse manner, which has led to endless, torturous suffering for many of mankind? Can you really associate this with a 'God' of love? There are many more questions I could ask you on this subject.

93

Who on the forum would you like to meet face to face?

by avidbiblereader in

jw
friends

if you had your chance who would you want to meet face to face, talk to them, spend some time picking their brain, have a dinner with, get to know better?.

i have many but want to hold off for now!!!.

abr.

fifi40

Honestly............Terry..............he fascinates me. And annoys me at the same time!

3

For those who have been reading my posts

by Junction-Guy in

jw
friends

if any of you have experienced similiar circumstance to me, and understand what im going through, then feel free to contact me, even the lurkers.

we can keep this confidential if you prefer.

i would love to talk with other xjw's facing similar problems.. .

fifi40

Dear Dave

The way in which I can relate to your posts is the situation of having to face what you truly feel, acting upon it and admitting it to your nearest and dearest, knowing that you may have to face their disappointment or disapproval.

Leaving the JWs, a husband and splitting my son's family up for him, was not a comfortable time for me. Just to clarify, yes I was d/fed but I had made my mind up before the event, and in no way attempted to show repentance for my wrongdoing. It was a time of great upheaval, upset and sadness for all involved.

My background is not dissimilar to yours in that I was raised as a JW, but my parents split when I was 13, and life was quite tough. I will not bore you with all the details, but suffice to say, that on occassion my dad has punched me in the face, held me up against a door and threatened he would shoot us both. This type of behaviour was rare, but did happen and was 'complimented' by a bad temper that raised its head frequently. Other than that he was a charming man, who in the last years of his life, tried to make up for the wrongs he had done to his five kids. It wasnt until the last ten years or so that I recognised these events to be abuse. Its amazing how the brain can deceive you when you love someone.

So as far as having a messed up childhood and having to sort out this crap when your older goes; I know what it can take. Sheer guts, determination and good counsel, with your own big doses of reality checks will help. It is an ongoing battle that becomes easier with time and you will learn to understand yourself more.

I wish you all the best for now and for the future, the fight (with yourself) is worth it.

Fi

18

Women.....................A JWs view

by vitty in

jw
friends

i was just hopping the boards and came across this discussion on e-mans site.

its just so unbelievable how the (men?

) in the org still view women!

fifi40

I wasnt a very good JW wife, it has to be said..........................and kind of adhered to the idea that whilst the man is supposedly the head, the woman is the neck, and as such directs matters................