Posts by helncon

24

My Life in The Organization

by sexyk in

hey what's up everyone?

hope everything is going alright.

im not doing too bad, just relaxing and doing alot of thinking.

helncon

Firstly welcome ( i know that i am only new here as well),

You know your life story was fantastic.

I couldn't agree more with the other and the future readers that we all have very similiar events that happened to all of us i too almost thought you were taking the words out of my head and putting them on the page.

I hope you get as much out of this forum as i recently have and too know that you are not alone in the way that you have been feeling and have felt.

The only thing i can add that i too faded not wanting to bring shame to all my family but you know i wasn't safe as i thought i was as i was living with a guy and they came a knockin' and DF me.

41

Do you still call it "the truth"?

by True North in

jw
friends

do you find youself still calling it "the truth" even though you are an ex-jw?

for instance, in one posting i just read, the poster wrote "when i was in the truth..." .

not a big deal, perhaps, but really not such a good thing either as it's a habitual holdover from the program of mental conditioning we were subject to.

helncon

I refer to it as the religion

This is the only thing that i can call it to my family when i have to reference the JW to them

3

To realize...

by zeroday in

jw
friends

my sister just emailed this to me thought you would enjoy.... .

to realize.

the value of a sister.

helncon

That is so great.

I too got that as an email a few weeks ago.

But you know what else is truley great?

Having your eyes finally open about what the JW are really about !!!!!

5

Have you ever.........

by helncon in

jw
friends

found that music has helped with you getting over being a jw like a song or even a few lines out of a song that just says exactly how you feel.. i know that over the years i have used music as an away of escaping sometimes just from everyday life.

untill a few years ago i found the right song for gettting over the pain and i just summed it all up.. you want to kow what it is?.

well i have always liked metal/grunge even when i was a jw i hid it though and a few years ago i stumbled accross this band and one of their songs just hit home with me!.

helncon

found that music has helped with you getting over being a JW like a song or even a few lines out of a song that just says exactly how you feel.

I know that over the years i have used music as an away of escaping sometimes just from everyday life.

Untill a few years ago i found the right song for gettting over the pain and i just summed it all up.

You want to kow what it is?

Well i have always liked metal/grunge even when i was a JW i hid it though and a few years ago i stumbled accross this band and one of their songs just hit home with me!

It's called SERMON by a band called DROWNING POOL

Has anyone else got a song that they relate to????

15

How to get a scriptual divorce?

by helncon in

jw
friends

just wondering on how it is possible to get a scriptual divorce as my dad needs to get one but as much research done i can't see how he can get one but he says he has spoken to some elders and that they have said it can be granted but on what grounds?.

i know if you have committed adultery and extreme cases disertion but other that these is there any way else.. you see my mum basically up and left my dad and they have reconciled once but now its definately over and have a legal divorce, so would disertion come under this catorgory?

also my mum has battled mental illness(mainly major depression) for as long as i can remember can he do it on the grounds of mental capacity?.

helncon

Thanks for all your replies,

Ok to clear some things up.

My mum has not or even interested in men and i don't think she will ever be with another man (and she isn't gay) since she left my dad so there is no chance of her 'doing' that.

So if my dad has approval from the elders to even get married in the KH so does that mean that he can still get DF?

or what if they do get married but never have 'sex'? Would that be grounds of not DF?

This doesn't make any sense!!! i suppose the whole religion doesn't make sense.

This new woman is a really strick JW right down the line so i'm even suprised that she is taking this path.

Does this make any sense to anyone!

thanks

helen

29

Where are you in your recovery process?

by Nicolas in

hi everyone and happy new year.

it's been a long time since i posted here, i've been lurking for a while too but now i would like to share my experience.

i would also like to hear your experience.

helncon

You know that after 12 years of not being a JW and DF for 5 years i really think that im an athiest i don't believe in anything i think my life growing up as a JW and liturally getting it shoved down my throat that i have become neutral in who or what to believe i even haven't even explored other religions i now just want nothing to do with any religion and live my life the best way i can.

My recovery process has been a rollercoaster ride for along time, and i want to get off but life is now getting more enjoyable and i am now starting to cope better, and lately now that i have found this web site it really has put a lot of things into prospective, i thought i was the only one who felt the way i felt and now i know im not alone.

So thank you evey one!!!!!!!!

15

How to get a scriptual divorce?

by helncon in

jw
friends

just wondering on how it is possible to get a scriptual divorce as my dad needs to get one but as much research done i can't see how he can get one but he says he has spoken to some elders and that they have said it can be granted but on what grounds?.

i know if you have committed adultery and extreme cases disertion but other that these is there any way else.. you see my mum basically up and left my dad and they have reconciled once but now its definately over and have a legal divorce, so would disertion come under this catorgory?

also my mum has battled mental illness(mainly major depression) for as long as i can remember can he do it on the grounds of mental capacity?.

helncon

HI,

just wondering on how it is possible to get a scriptual divorce as my dad needs to get one but as much research done i can't see how he can get one but he says he has spoken to some elders and that they have said it can be granted but on what grounds?

I know if you have committed adultery and extreme cases disertion but other that these is there any way else.

You see my mum basically up and left my dad and they have reconciled once but now its definately over and have a legal divorce, so would disertion come under this catorgory? Also my mum has battled mental illness(mainly major depression) for as long as i can remember can he do it on the grounds of mental capacity?

Any thoughts

(me a DF JW grew up as one)

19

I feel uncomforatable when my children ask about God....

by flip4diz in

i don't know what to say.. for some background: .

i have been out for 10 years.

it was the birth of my son, who just turned 11 ... that brought me out.

helncon

Hi Flip,

I know exactly how you feel im just going through it now with my 8 year old just this last few months she has been going to sunday school and learning aout God and Jesus and the spirit and how to treat people, this has been great as this has helped her with some understanding of who God is. She still asks questions and i give her a straight to the point answer with out being to elaborate and she is happy with it.

. Born into the JW's and never knowing anything else really ruined all religion for me. It's probably only been the last 5 years that I don't get scared when a bad storm rolls over the horizon ... or when I hear of natural disasters catching my breath.

I too used to feel that way to thinking is this the end or that i had done something wrong.

I don't belong to any religion either and i don't think i ever will. I grew up as a JW and thats done it for me.

Just keep it simple and the kids work it out for themselves, but make sure you do answer their questions.

16

What would you do in my situation?

by helncon in

jw
friends

hi, im new here but have been looking at lots of web sites for exjw's and i can't seem to get any answer in what im looking for.. i have a bit of a delemia i am df and my dad (jw) is getting remarried to a jw in march and i am wanting to go but the thing is i haven't been to a kh for a very long time and where they are getting married is the one that i grew up in and for this not sure where i am to sit.

do i have the right to sit in the front row or do i have to treat it like a normal meeting?.

can anyone shed any light on this?.

helncon

Thanks for the welcome!!!!

You know i was going to sit in the front row and now i definatly am!!!!!

I was born a JW and I faded away in 1993 not long after i got baptised but then got DF in 2001 so i haven't had any contact with anyone except my family who i am really lucky still talk to me. So being reinstated is out of the question. But my dad's new woman doesn't want him to have contact with me but he has told her that he will still have the same contact but i just don't want him to do it behind her back.

They are just having the ceremony no reception this is on her doing as she feels that it will cause problems( she has a sister who is DF), she won't even go out for dinner as a new family. I think there are some problems already?

16

What would you do in my situation?

by helncon in

jw
friends

hi, im new here but have been looking at lots of web sites for exjw's and i can't seem to get any answer in what im looking for.. i have a bit of a delemia i am df and my dad (jw) is getting remarried to a jw in march and i am wanting to go but the thing is i haven't been to a kh for a very long time and where they are getting married is the one that i grew up in and for this not sure where i am to sit.

do i have the right to sit in the front row or do i have to treat it like a normal meeting?.

can anyone shed any light on this?.

helncon

Hi, im new here but have been looking at lots of web sites for exjw's and i can't seem to get any answer in what im looking for.

I have a bit of a delemia i am DF and my dad (JW) is getting remarried to a JW in March and i am wanting to go but the thing is i haven't been to a KH for a VERY long time and where they are getting married is the one that i grew up in and for this not sure where i am to sit. Do i have the right to sit in the front row or do i have to treat it like a normal meeting?

Can anyone shed any light on this?