Fairytale, I've felt a similar tug. Even though I've learned so much dark stuff about the Society, even now and then I'll feel that tug. I feel it mostly because my parents are JWs and I hate breaking their heart as I am. But I stand my ground because this way is what makes me happy. (Greek proverb: the believer is happy; the doubter is wise.) I'm a freethinker, dagnabbit! And there's NO room in the organization for guys and gals like me.
Someone else who will write later -- perhaps after she gets back from out of town -- is in similar shoes as you -- i.e., having a partner that can't quite understand the horrid attachment to the organization. Unless you're raised in it, you can't understand. It's almost like the organization is a part of you because it's been there all your life. It's tough to shed your attachment.
I can tell that you're torn because you called the organization "the Truth." You'll soon find that it's not the truth. You'll learn about the lies, the deceit, the greed, the sins -- everything. I haven't read Crisis of Conscience yet, but I've heard nothing but good things about it. So check it out.
You can't deny who you are. If you're a lesbian, then that's what you are (at least for now). Don't live your whole life trying to suppress who you are. It won't work. It's like a boiling pot: the pressure will rise and rise and rise, until -- bam! -- you explode (figuratively, I'd imagine).
You're free to make your own choice. But don't go back. You've got to tear yourself away. At the end of your life, all you'll have is happiness or regret. Live life like you want. It's your life to do with as you please. Nobody else's. Yours. Live it up -- as yourself.