Posts by boyzone

25

Have you ever personally known anyone who DA him/herself?

by lavendar in

jw
friends

wondering something else:.

while a jw, did you ever know anyone who disassociated?

and if so, did you ever talk to that person afterwards to find out why they disassociated?.

What to do when your parents are toxic?

by Paralipomenon in

from reading people's stories and life experiences i thought i'd poll the members here for some advice.

my inlaws are extremely toxic.

i know, every person says that about their inlaws, but the way they treat their family is absolutely horrible.

I'm not close to my brothers, haven't seen them for months,neither do they phone mum and dad regularly. But I keep in contact with my sister. She comes over if there's an emergency but otherwise its just me. I did feel very angry with my siblings when mum had the cancer as I was really struggling. Mum needed constant post surgical care and alot of reassurance, shopping, cleaning, personal care etc. At the same time my young son was twitching and showing the full symptoms of deep stress at school (due to the shunning) I was trying to get to child psycologist appointments, hold down a job, keep my family fed and sorted, move house AND put up with the full shunning where I work and on the school driveway every day.

When dad offered to speak to the elder and defend me, it was a real boon and the support I needed at the time. So when he turned on me and sided with the elder it was a major kick in the teeth. I felt totally betrayed and set up.

All the time I was doing this, my parents were being told to think of me as "overreached by Satan" by elders concerned by the contact they were having with me. (where the f**k were the loving bro's during this time???)

So all in all a really shitty time. Now I'm kinda left as this seething ball of resentment without any outlet. I would love to tell dad how he makes me feel, I'd also love to walk away and not look back, but I can't. I just gotta find a way of dealing with it but don't know how.

So yeah, I do feel resentful of them. I know they're busy and I know they live some distance away but

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What to do when your parents are toxic?

by Paralipomenon in

from reading people's stories and life experiences i thought i'd poll the members here for some advice.

my inlaws are extremely toxic.

i know, every person says that about their inlaws, but the way they treat their family is absolutely horrible.

boyzone

Hi JWfacts

I can relate totally. My dad LOVES the back and white certainty that the Society gives him, I think thats why he loses control of his temper and becomes livid with rage every time there's a doubt placed in his mind. He LOVES to be right all the time and has never done apologies of any sort.

Like your mum, I think thats why the WTS is so attractive to him. It allows him to be this all important, always right bigwig. I've lost alot of respect for him for that. Perhaps it is the WTS thats toxic but dad loves it that way.

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What to do when your parents are toxic?

by Paralipomenon in

from reading people's stories and life experiences i thought i'd poll the members here for some advice.

my inlaws are extremely toxic.

i know, every person says that about their inlaws, but the way they treat their family is absolutely horrible.

boyzone

Hi Blondie

No, none of my siblings became Witnesses, they all have their own lives and families and are busy doing their thing. I also have my own family but its the relationship with my dad thats so difficult.

All my older siblings expect me to take care of mum and dad, yet because they've never been witnesses they don't understand how difficult that is when your parents are taught to think of you as a dog thats returned to its vomit and all the other choice phrases the witnesses like to use for us "apostates". And believe me, if the Society say I am a vomit eating dog, then thats exactly how dad thinks of me. What the Society says, goes.

My hubby summed it up well, he said its like being black knowing that your parents are fully paid up members of the Ku Klux Klan.

Its a real dichotomy. I want to be able to distance myself from them as I'm tired of playing this game of lets pretend everythings alright. But I can't escape, they need me around and my brothers and sister expect me to take care of things.

I'm growing more and more resentful of this situation every day, not sure how much longer I can put up with it.

44

What to do when your parents are toxic?

by Paralipomenon in

from reading people's stories and life experiences i thought i'd poll the members here for some advice.

my inlaws are extremely toxic.

i know, every person says that about their inlaws, but the way they treat their family is absolutely horrible.

boyzone

What an interesting thread, I'm glad it was bumped as I'm in this situation too.

To be fair I can't exactly describe my parents as toxic as I had a happy unabusive childhood along with my 3 older siblings. The problem has manifest itself since I left the Witnesses after 21 years. None of us were brought up as witnesses, mum and dad became ones when I was in early teens.

I now live on a small island on the south coast of England along with my retired parents (not in the same house). My siblings all live on mainland UK 70+ miles away. My dad was truly horrible during my WT exit. He saw me treated really badly by the congregation and even though my mum was going through cancer at the time and I was doing all I could to care for them, he fully endorsed the cruel shunning I was receiving and even witnessed my 9 year old son go through such stress he was wrongly diagnosed as autistic by psychologists.

My dad let me down really badly. He set up a meeting with an elder to address the way I was being treated, to my surprise he assured me that he would defend me. Instead, as soon as the door was closed, dad immediately agreed totally with everything the elder said and wouldn't listen to anything I said. He even got up and left me half way through.

I was set up. I left that room completely broken.

Now my relationship with my dad is tenuous. I am still the only daughter on the island and my siblings expect me to take care of dad, but I love and hate the man at the same time. Does that make sense?

Sometimes I can't go round and see them cos I can't bear it. Often the conversation is stilted and uncomfortable and I don't want to share my life with them. Neither are they allowed to share their Watchtower life with me. In fact I know they've recently been to the circuit assembly, had the overseer's visit, had the memorial, but none of this is ever mentioned in conversation. Its as if they're throwing pearls before swine by mentioning it.

Now I'm just tired of playing this game. My siblings have left the care of my parents to me and I'm struggling. Not with the physical care, but with how I feel about them. None of my siblings became witnesses so they don't understand the problem. They would be angry if they felt I was neglecting them.

I feel constantly guilt-laden because I don't like this relationship. Where has my dad of my childhood gone? Where is the laughing, loving man I remember who used to give me a cuddle when I fell down and make everything alright? He's become hard and cruel in his defence of the Watchtower, and I miss that man.

He's elderly now, 81 next month. He deserves better from me but I just can't give him anymore. He took everything I had into that room with the elder and stamped all over it.

Don't know what to do now.

7

Wife returning to meetings =tells me to get rid of our Porn collection!! Awww!

by Witness 007 in

yes i did enjoy what i call "the age of freedom" where i did not have to hide my "movie" collection.

now my wife wants to have a clear conscience and be a good witness so the collection has to go underground again.

i feel like the berlin wall was torn down.....and then rebuilt a couple years later!.

boyzone

Its ok 007, us sisters get these crazy ideas now and again, it'll pass.

I remember getting all sanctamonious about the Harry Potter books and DVD's one time and they all went in the trash.

A few weeks later I felt stupid and went out and bought them again. I just made sure any visiting JW's didn't see them on the shelf.

178

Why is Jesus kept side stage ?

by iknowall558 in

john 5 :39 ' 40 "you study the scriptures, because you think that in them you will find eternal life.

and these very scriptures speak about me!

yet you are not willing to come to me in order to have life.

boyzone

hi boysone honour is not worship

Hi Reniaa

But you haven't explained why the Society translate the same greek word as "worship" when in reference to God, but then translate it "obeisance" when in reference to Jesus?

In John 5 v 23 it says we should honour the Son JUST AS WE HONOUR THE FATHER.

Its quite plain to me that the scripture leaves us in no doubt. If you don't give the same honour to the Son as you give to the Father, then you risk the Father's displeasure.

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Why is Jesus kept side stage ?

by iknowall558 in

john 5 :39 ' 40 "you study the scriptures, because you think that in them you will find eternal life.

and these very scriptures speak about me!

yet you are not willing to come to me in order to have life.

boyzone

Thanks for that,

I know from bitter experience how truly wicked the Society are, their shunning took me to the brink of a breakdown thanks to a hard-line zealous angry JW Father. Its taken me 2 years to regain my strength to deal with him and all the other JW's shunning me for daring to disagree with the Society.

I look forward to listening to Hobo Ken's story.

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