Posts by boyzone

Excellent work Leolaia and V. Thank you so much for the time and effort you put into doing this. Its been a fantastic help to me and my family. You are so appreciated!

A hearty WELL DONE

40

Your JW Relatives Have 2 Personalities - Cult & Authentic- See the Change

by flipper in

jw
friends

in steve hassan's book, " combatting cult mind control" - one of the points that assisted me the most is understanding that all cult members have a " cult " personality which turns on when defending their faith, and they have an authentic, non - cult personality they were born with- the personality they had before being programmed by the jehovah's witnesses or any other " cult".

how is this dual cult/ authentic personality manifest ?

hassan mentions in his book that, " one moment the person is speaking cultic jargon with a hostile or elitist know-it-all attitude .

boyzone

I see this switch often in my dad. In his true personality he is kind and funny but when the cult personality takes over, sometimes mid conversation, he has a steely hardness to his words and a real over emphasis on everything he says. He gets so vehement sometimes that he slams his fist on the table to make his point which in general, is out of character for him.

There's one thing I have noticed recently too. My worldly niece has been going through a rough patch in her marriage and has handled herself with dignity and maturity in a very difficult situation. This has really surprised my dad as he thought all worldly people would abandon their marriage at the first opportunity. As far as he was concerned, only witnesses would stick at a marriage that needed work. It has really made him think.

I reckon you're right Mr Flipper. The more non -witness good experiences they hear about, the more their true personality will be at the fore. I'll do this more and more with my dad. He is 80 next month and I think he is starting to see his sons and daughters (all non-witnesses) as loving him and want to involve him in our lives far more than the congregation do.

31

Do JW's attract the mentally ill, or do their beliefs cause mental illness?

by gaiagirl in

jw
friends

have you observed a higher than normal number of mentall ill among jw's?

if so, do you think the religon attracts the mentally ill, or do you think that their beliefs and practices actually cause mental illness?.

boyzone

But conversely the JW lifestyle can send sensitive people over the edge.

YES! You hit the nail on the head QL. When I first read Christian Freedom, Ray Franz mentioned a phrase that really struck a chord with me. He said it was those in the congregation who were particularly sensitive and consciencious that seem to suffer the most from the pressure exerted by the Society.

You just reminded me of it, thanks.

31

Do JW's attract the mentally ill, or do their beliefs cause mental illness?

by gaiagirl in

jw
friends

have you observed a higher than normal number of mentall ill among jw's?

if so, do you think the religon attracts the mentally ill, or do you think that their beliefs and practices actually cause mental illness?.

boyzone

I'm no expert when it comes to looking at the statistics of these things but in the cong I was in, there was a good percentage of normal witnesses who got mentally sicker as time wore on. A certain elder would crack up on the platform and had to be given other duties. A ministerial servant was so depressed he left his pioneer uber-dub wife and went completely off the rails, needing hospitalization. Quite a few parents and older ones were on anti-depressants. I can personally name 6 in my congregation. Likely there were a few I didn't know about. One young sister of 33 drank herself to death out of lonliness for a partner. A number of elders stepped down due to burn-out.

The thing is, our congregation was considered to be one of the stronger ones in the district. I dread to think what others were like.

29

Why was the "Manking Search For God" publication never a study book?

by truthseeker in

jw
friends

any takers?.

i'm guessing it's because people might get too curious when covering the material and wonder about different religions..

boyzone

So why do you think it wasn't studied?

29

Why was the "Manking Search For God" publication never a study book?

by truthseeker in

jw
friends

any takers?.

i'm guessing it's because people might get too curious when covering the material and wonder about different religions..

boyzone

According to the CDROM the mankind's book came out in 1990. The book study schedule was

April 89 Rev Book

June 90 Trinity Brochure

Sept 90 The Bible - God's word or man's book

Feb 91 Blood brochure

March 91 Rev book (again)

Oct 92 Greatest Man book

Nov 93 Family life book

May 94 Happiness - how to find it.

Jan 95 Rev book (again!!!!)

April 96 Knowledge book

I really thought we had studied the mankind's search book, guess the old memory's playing tricks.

63

3 a.m. - my wife is in tears! What do I do?

by The Scotsman in

jw
friends

well my situation has developed a bit, any advice appreciated.. their has been a gradual building up of pressure ever since i stood down as an elder about 6 months ago.. i have been telling my wife about my doubts but have continued to attend "some" meetings.. as time has progressed i have become more open with my criticism of the org.. i mentioned the un scandal, molestation trials, false prophecy ect etc.. interestingly she does not deny these facts and yet still wants to continue as a jw.. i told her that god is not happy with people knowingly being part of a false prophet (deut 18 - etc) - starting to lay the groundwork for my exit.. she appreciates the difficult situation doubters are in - they cannot openly express their feelings for fear of jcs.. anyway, a few weeks ago we moved house which meant changing congregation.. but i felt it would be best if i did not attend meetings " at all" at the new cong so my fade could be easier.. but i could not have predicted my wifes response - when i told her it was an explosion of emotion, i mean real heartbreaker stuff.. she seems depressed at the prospect, perhaps the reality is finally hitting home.. last night, about 3a.m.

i noticed that she was not in bed.

i went downstairs and she was sobbing away to herself.. "i can't go to that hall myself!

boyzone

I can really relate to how your wife must be feeling! I shed a few tears in the early hours too.

My husband left 2 years before I did. He just woke up one sunday morning and said "the truth is a pile of $hit, I'm not going anymore". At the time I was really upset. We had 4 kids and I felt totally abandoned.

Lets face it, the truth is hard work whether you're bringing up kids or not. To have someone who can gee you along when it gets a bit crappy really helps. Not only did I have to face being on my own but I had to deal with the emotion of thinking that the man I love was now destined to die at armageddon (which was any day now)

Sure I had lots of platitudes and sympathy at the hall but the feeling of resentment at being abandoned was very strong for quite a while. Our relationship was strained to say the least.

What helped us get back on track was hubbie not pressuring me. He could've put loads of anti JW literature in front of me but he didn't as he knew I would just get defensive. Instead he concentrated on making our lives special in other ways. Like bringing home surprise theatre tickets (which happened to be on a meeting night) and spending time organizing short breaks away etc.

In my own time I started to examine the "truth" for myself and disassociated 1 year ago. I must emphasise in my own time, that was the key to us now being VERY happy and me being totally 100% sure of my decision to leave.

So I don't know if my experience will help you. But one thing that I must say, Ever since that Sunday morning when he announced that he wasn't going anymore, he has NEVER set foot inside the kingdom hall since, not even to please me. No memorial, nothing. He was that certain it was wrong. And even though I put quite a bit of emotional pressure on him to keep going, I secretly admired his total firm resolve in this. I think if he had been half hearted it would have taken a lot longer for me to be brave enough to leave.