In Steve Hassan's book, " Combatting Cult Mind Control" - one of the points that assisted me the most is understanding that all cult members have a " cult " personality which turns on when defending their faith, and they have an authentic, non - cult personality they were born with- the personality they had before being programmed by the Jehovah's Witnesses or any other " cult".
How is this dual cult/ authentic personality manifest ? Hassan mentions in his book that, " One moment the person is speaking cultic jargon with a hostile or elitist know-it-all attitude . Then without warning, he seems to become his old self, with his attitudes and mannerisms . Just as suddenly he flips back to being a stranger. This behavior is very familiar to anyone dealing with cult members. "
Hassan continues : " It is essential for family members to sensitize themselves to the differences between the two identity patterns, in terms of both content ( what the person talks about ) and communication patterns ( the way he speaks and acts ) . Each one looks and sounds distinctively different.
In cult mode a person will as Hassan says , " Speak with innappropriate intensity and volume. His posture will typically be more rigid, his facial muscles tighter. His eyes will tend to strike family members as glassy, cold, or glazed, and he will often seem to stare through people . " Sound like any witness relatives you know ?
But notice when the person gets the " authentic " true personality back how they act : " He will be more expressive and will share his feelings more willingly. He will be more spontaneous and may even show a sense of humor. His posture and muscles will appear to be looser and warmer. Eye contact will be more natural. "
Hassan says, " It's an eerie experience to be talking with someone and sense that while you are in mid-sentence, a different personality has taken over his body. " We have to learn to recognize this change to help our relatives. Even though the " cult indoctrination " attempts to destroy the authentic personality, it almost never totally succeeds. Good experiences and positive memories rarely disappear entirely.
Hassan mentions one way that the process can be speeded up to help a relative " lose " the cult personality. He says, " This process is speeded up by a positive experience to non-members and the accumulation of bad experiences he has while in the group or cult. "
So if we bring up non-witness good experiences we have shared with our relatives , like camping, vacations, nice times shopping together, good meals together, anything discussing non-witness positive experiences with them - it can assist them to get into their " authentic" or real personality more and lose the " JW cult " personality. Don't get discouraged if you see your relatives slip back into the " cult " personality- it will happen. It's part of the gradual process.
So have you folks had experiences seeing these 2 opposite personalities at work in your JW relatives? Have you seen them flip flop back and forth ; and how did it make you feel ? I hope perhaps this information will help you somewhat to understand what is going on with them ! So I look forward to reading your experiences of this and if you have further ideas that will help, bring them on please ! I know some on the board have had challenges lately with this " cult personality" coming out in their family- so hey, let's help one another ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
Your JW Relatives Have 2 Personalities - Cult & Authentic- See the Change
by flipper 40 Replies latest jw friends
-
flipper
-
JimmyPage
Being brought up in the borg my dominant personality was the cult personality. Only after drifting away did I find my true personality. My dad is so caught up in the borg that I rarely see his true personality, the one I'm sure he had before I was born, when he was "worldly". He is very hard to truly get to know. My brother has suppressed his true personality in deference to the cult personality. (On another note, "Cult of Personality" by Living Colour has some killer lead guitar!)
-
BabaYaga
Thank you for posting this, Mr. Flipper.
And Peace, also, to YOU.
Love,
Baba. -
boyzone
I see this switch often in my dad. In his true personality he is kind and funny but when the cult personality takes over, sometimes mid conversation, he has a steely hardness to his words and a real over emphasis on everything he says. He gets so vehement sometimes that he slams his fist on the table to make his point which in general, is out of character for him.
There's one thing I have noticed recently too. My worldly niece has been going through a rough patch in her marriage and has handled herself with dignity and maturity in a very difficult situation. This has really surprised my dad as he thought all worldly people would abandon their marriage at the first opportunity. As far as he was concerned, only witnesses would stick at a marriage that needed work. It has really made him think.
I reckon you're right Mr Flipper. The more non -witness good experiences they hear about, the more their true personality will be at the fore. I'll do this more and more with my dad. He is 80 next month and I think he is starting to see his sons and daughters (all non-witnesses) as loving him and want to involve him in our lives far more than the congregation do.
-
jwfacts
When having a discussion, it is very easy to see a 'phase shift' between the normal personality and a robotic personality when discussing doctrine. As soon as I ask a difficult question, the phase shift occurs, where I can see my family look like different people once they start to mindlessly parrot some nonsense Watchtower answer.
-
sass_my_frass
I had a non-JW boyfriend point it out once; he just said 'you're a completely different person in your meeting clothes'. It made me think about why I'm two-faced.
-
Hope4Others
The book gives some interesting thoughts, It's funny how you see these patterns in people and family once you leave the cult. I guess it is
because you now are looking or observing from a distance so to speak. Everything seems so clear, and you think even of yourself at one
point, "Was I really like that"?
Hope4others
-
mrsjones5
Yeah growing up in the bOrg you don't notice this change...you think perhaps that it's normal or this is normal. It's only when you walk away and look back that you see it. I see it in my relatives and it's weird.
-
R.Crusoe
Yup - they have developed an identity which is direct from the WT!
WT ego is self righteous and without flaws that can be questioned!
So that is the ego they have wrestling inside their own set of egos!
Not the best of combinations to relate to and feel accepted for who you are!
But beware - because according to Eckhart that may be your own ego feeling the pain!!
Go figure.
-
Fe2O3Girl
I POSTED A LINK TO A RADIO INTERVIEW WITH AN EX-CULT MEMBER AND A CULT RESEARCHER A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/14/156544/1.ashx
THIS IS ONE OF THE THINGS THE EX-CULT MEMBER MENTIONED - SHE HAD DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES: HER TRUE FEELINGS, HER APPEARANCE TO OTHER CULT MEMBERS AND HER APPEARANCE TO PEOPLE SHE WAS TRYING TO RECRUIT. IT IS WORTH A LISTEN, HONEST, OR AT LEAST I THOUGHT SO, BUT APPARENTLY ONLY NICOLAOU AND I THOUGHT SO.