Posts by boyzone

14

I am feeling REALLY angry right now.............................

by Warlock in

jw
friends

and for no particular reason.. how about you.. are your teeth grinding?.

warlock .

boyzone

LOL! Yep, me too. Sometimes the sh*t really gets to you. I'm gonna sit and write a few pages in my journal to get my angst out of my system, then go for a walk.

79

How Long Have you Been Out of the Witnesses ? Have you Moved On ?

by flipper in

jw
friends

i have been out over 5 years now.

i feel we all start healing at different speeds depending on how much hurt we went through in exiting ; and how much we've educated ourselves about how and why we were sucked in by a mind control cult.

at first i felt anger towards the organization , but after learning about mind control within 3 years of leaving the cult i felt sorry for those who are still trapped inside the witnesses being deceived.

boyzone

Its been very interesting reading other people's experiences on this subject so I'd like to thank you all for posting and for Mr Flipper for posting the thread.

I have now been disassociated for 2 years, and to be honest its been the hardest and most traumatic time of my life - yet at the same time the most liberating and joyful. As you can see a real contrast!

I've found it very difficult to move on. Only now can I say I am getting stronger. The shunning has been awful - truly awful. My dear loving sisters have turned their back on me literally every day when I take my youngster to school. My 9 year old son was wongly diagnosed by child psycologists as being autistic because of the stress caused by the shunning we both received at the school.

They deliberately come into my place of work to shun me. I work in one of many coffee shops in my area, but they choose to come where I work, knowing they're gonna refuse to talk to me, or even look me in the eye. I've even had sister's deliberately approach me at work, hand their dirty cups to me and bristle in disgust and walk off as I've said hello and thanked them.

My zealous JW dad has been - well, lets call him "a typical JW loon" to the point where he fully endorsed the shunning and became furiously angry whenever I showed any hurt or tears. EVERYTHING was my fault. Even when I was taking care of my mum who had undergone cancer surgery, he still defended my shunning treatment as perfectly justified. He even insisted I remove the pictures of my eldest son from his house (because he's gay)

All this has led to a breakdown. I've gone through councilling which has helped to a degree, but I still get days when the pain is overwhelming and my anger at their cruelty and injustice difficult to control.

Now I try and focus on the positives in my life. My dad's attitude shows signs of softening recently which is a good thing. My youngest son is doing well and is gaining in confidence. And with the "how to treat a disfellowshipped person" recently studied at the KH I am seeing less witnesses enter my workplace.

So, all in all, I'm getting there.....and this forum is definately one of the positives as its great to talk to people who also have "been there".

16

I Just Did the Math!

by journey-on in

jw
friends

i know a dear 'sister', 60 yrs.

old, who has been a faithful witness all her life.

if she put in just 10 hrs./mo.

boyzone

Hours auxillary pioneering and some days coming home tired and cold without hardly saying a single word to anyone, never mind any meaningful words.

What a waste of time, effort and shoe leather!

Mind you, I placed loads of literature. Launderettes, coffee shops, doctor and dentist waiting rooms......... what better way of getting rid of the old mags and still count them. And no return visits to chase with that lot either.

All that "seed-sowing" and I didn't bring anyone into the "truth" either. (thank God!) But my reputation with the elders and the congregation went up several notches - go figure.

All that effort just to be seen by men. That can't be right.

53

Long term effects of Armageddon images

by Lady Lee in

someone i know is having a hard time with anxiety attacks.

she hasn't been a jw since a teen.

recently she has started seeing a therapist.

boyzone

My son is now 9 years old, he was 8 when I left. I admit he's quite a sensitive child but also a typical little boy, focussing on any violent images but also being scared by them and wanting explanations. And no, he doesn't watch violent films but he does see the occassional DVD cover in Blockbuster or HMV.

However when he was younger, the Society's publications were his main picture source, the Revelation book is the one he remembers the most with all the angry people surrounding the good, with the dragon in the background. Also the rider on the black horse used to scare him. He still asks about that book and talks about those pictures today. He hasn't forgotten.

The other thing that REALLY scared him was a video shown at the Kingdom Hall. It was the story of Korah and Moses and the rebellion. It wasn't in cartoon form but filmed with live actors. When the scene came where the earth swallowed up Korah and all the others, my son was almost hysterical and cried out "NO!" loudly in fear at what he was seeing. I hurried him out the door and he burst into tears. How I regret taking him that day!

Since then he still asks me questions about those images as if he's looking for reassurance. I give him what I can but I can tell its not always enough.

The point is, words can often be forgotten by a child, but pictures stay in their minds for a long long time. And for a sensiive child like him, it takes alot of reassurance before they can overwrite what they've been shown with happier thoughts.

18

should Elders be held resposible......................

by KAYTEE in

jw
friends

should elders be held financially responsible for actions and decisions that they get wrong?

in my very last congregation we needed some form of heating, in the body of elders there was no air condition expertise at all.. this did not stop them buying a 3,500 unit for this purpose, there was at the time two refrigeration engineers in the hall (myself and another), we were not approached for our input into this purchase.. the outcome was as usual a complete white elephant, it did not work.

3,500 pounds lost.

boyzone

Had a similiar situation at our hall when it came time for a refurb. The Society sent samples of colour schemes and told us to choose. All of them were yuk. The body of elders decided the walls should be deep pink. PINK! Enough to give everyone a migraine. The soft furnishings were chosen off the sample and they were blue patterned. Very expensive.

The sisters banded together and said no to the pink. You'd've thought the whole bloody world had caved in, that sisters DARED to question a decision of the Body of Elders!!

Thats where elders wives can be handy. The elderettes exerted their influence and suddenly the pink wasn't such a good idea after all and the elders had decided to change it to a softer shade. Funny that.

We still had to pay extortionate prices for the fabrics though. Of course, this was specially approved, divinely inspired, GB recommended fabric interwoven with holy spirit fresh from the Society. No wonder it cost a bloody fortune.

17

Service meeting last week on how to treat DF ones

by tinker in

i just learned there was a service meeting part last week on how to treat df ones.

the person i heard this from said it was very hard on many in her congo.

did anyone attend that meeting or has there been discussion here?

boyzone

I reckon this hard-line could be a good thing for some. Taking into account the last book study meeting and the up and coming April 09 WT, quite a few dubs might start to baulk at all this crap especially when close family is involved.

My parents really surprised me. I was expecting a cold reception, even the full shunning from them but instead they were all over me. They even said they were looking forward to seeing my eldest son when he next visited (he's gay and disassociated).

I could hardly believe my ears! And all this from a dad who's been VERY unkind in defending the Witnesses at all costs.

I didn't like to rock the boat but I get the feeling they've had enough of being made to think of me as a vomit eating dog.

The Society may well have shot themselves in the foot with this hard-line crap, at least with some anyway.

BZ

99

April 15th WT- Satan = Apostates = Critical Towards Brothers = Shun Them

by flipper in

jw
friends

wow.

and so the wt society tightens down the screwdriver a bit more !

one of my wife and my lurking jw friends sent us this article which has some very pointed words in it inciting all jehovah's witnesses to take an even harder line view of apostates in this recent april 15th wt.. on pg.

boyzone

Hi Kaytee

I read your post and was really moved by the true love you've shown. Your situation can't be easy at times and I really admire the way you've stepped up to the plate like that. Kudos to you both x

So I can imagine that the subtle insult that people like yourselves are like Satan and don't care for victims of calamity must bite really deep.

This Org truly disgusts me sometimes.

21

could somebody post about the pain of one in and one out marriage??

by oompa in

jw
friends

geeze it has been awhile....... and robert7 and wife newlite are sooooo dammm lucky......nice fam and friends too.....thanks for the awesome party guys.........oompa.

boyzone

Hi Oompa

Can I explain how it was for me on the other side of the coin - so to speak?

When I was a dutiful wife in the truth, my hubby left. It wasn't difficult for him as he'd only ever been a bum on a seat at the kingdom hall anyway, no climbing the ladder for him. So he wasn't missed, only one elder came to see him about why he left and chatted to him for a full 5 minutes.

He didn't fade, he just woke up one sunday morning and as we were getting ready for the meeting he said (his exact words) "I'm not doing this anymore, its all bullshit".

My first reaction was one of complete relief. Finally, after 13 years, I knew he'd been honest about how he felt about the "truth". As his wife I'd seen him never take the lead with the kids, hated studying with them as much as they hated being studied with, sigh deeply every time he had to give a prayer at the table, go out of FS for about an hour a month. NEVER answer at the meeting, give talks but only cos he HAD to etc.

All this was really hard work for me as it was like bringing up 5 kids in the truth instead of 4! So the day he said "its all bullshit" was a real relief. Thank God! One less "kid" to deal with!

Just wondering, if you finally made the decision to cut all ties with the WT once and for all, your wife might just feel the same relief I did. My marriage did become stronger after that. I knew where I stood and so did he. No more sitting on the fence playing about with the "truth" This benefitted both of us.

I saw him change into a man downtrodden and burdened by the expectations of the congregation (and me) into a fella that loves life and his family to the full. Not only that, but as he began to stay home and do what he wanted, I felt quite jealous. Sitting in a hot KH with miserable kids all trussed up in best clothes, with the sun shining outside, knowing he was at home having a beer, was a real toughie!

In the end, his actions spoke louder than his words. He was just such a happy guy to be free that the contrast in him was extreme and his whole demeanour changed.

As I became more miserable in the truth, he became much happier without it. I was so low that it led to my definately having to make sure it was the truth before I could continue. This led to my research - and the rest as they say, is history.

There were some rocky moments in all this, mainly due to my cult mindset. I would take the mick out of him for going to his works xmas party or sending his mum a birthday card etc, but it was my jealousy talking really, and the need to feel superior as the "faithful" one.

Now we're both out, our marriage has NEVER been better. Hand on heart I can honestly say that. I love my man so much and I'm proud that he took the decision to leave the truth when he did. We'e very close now.

So it might be painful for a while. Doing what is right for you sometimes is. But people adjust around you and in the end see your happiness and want some too. It doesn't always have to end in a breakup.

5