Posts by metaspy

56

hardest conversation of my life

by metaspy in

moments ago, i talked to my mom.. i told her that i was taking some time off from going to meetings and service.. the conversation went down hill from there.. as her usual she just dismissed my reasons as if they meant nothing.. i pointed to the child molestations as my main reason for leaving.. "you are being over-sensitive", "jehovah takes care of things in his own time", "rely on jehovah".

those were the catch phrases of the conversation.. a new one was: "what have you been reading?".

i have a hard time standing up to my mother.

metaspy

Thank you eclipse.
I will try to stand up to her and demand respect.
I cannot move - I just got a new job, a new apartment (signed for a year), and I actually love my new job.

Thank you also carla.
I will try to view it less as a battle, and more as living my own life.
I will probably end up ignoring phone calls - I was trying to not do that because I wanted to seem like I was still me.
Like I am not changing all that much, just not going to meetings anymore.
I am trying to fade not DF or DA (though I will do this if necessary).

56

hardest conversation of my life

by metaspy in

moments ago, i talked to my mom.. i told her that i was taking some time off from going to meetings and service.. the conversation went down hill from there.. as her usual she just dismissed my reasons as if they meant nothing.. i pointed to the child molestations as my main reason for leaving.. "you are being over-sensitive", "jehovah takes care of things in his own time", "rely on jehovah".

those were the catch phrases of the conversation.. a new one was: "what have you been reading?".

i have a hard time standing up to my mother.

metaspy

jgnat
true, both statements.

other than acting for the girl I loved, I have always broken under the full weight of my mother's opinions.
She knows how to attack me and press my buttons, so as to get the desired result.
In order for me to accomplish anything she does not approve of, I have acted in silence or had others defend me.
I was trying to get a phone number without telling her, but she found out and got the number.

somewhere deep inside me I tell myself I need to confront it, but no one volunteers for the duty.

also, what my mom cannot accomplish, my brother can.
He is able to do more manipulation of me than her, and I cannot fight him.
I cannot fight him because I know he does things for the right reasons. I love my brother.

reading through the toxic parents - it describes my family.
I answered yes to 50% of the questions.

56

hardest conversation of my life

by metaspy in

moments ago, i talked to my mom.. i told her that i was taking some time off from going to meetings and service.. the conversation went down hill from there.. as her usual she just dismissed my reasons as if they meant nothing.. i pointed to the child molestations as my main reason for leaving.. "you are being over-sensitive", "jehovah takes care of things in his own time", "rely on jehovah".

those were the catch phrases of the conversation.. a new one was: "what have you been reading?".

i have a hard time standing up to my mother.

metaspy

jgnat, your advice is kind, but not advisable with my mom.
As it is right now, I get calls from her 2x a day to nag me about meetings and other stuff.
If I say "sure" to anyone who tells me to go back to meetings, she will follow up with phone calls.

56

hardest conversation of my life

by metaspy in

moments ago, i talked to my mom.. i told her that i was taking some time off from going to meetings and service.. the conversation went down hill from there.. as her usual she just dismissed my reasons as if they meant nothing.. i pointed to the child molestations as my main reason for leaving.. "you are being over-sensitive", "jehovah takes care of things in his own time", "rely on jehovah".

those were the catch phrases of the conversation.. a new one was: "what have you been reading?".

i have a hard time standing up to my mother.

metaspy

thank you sad emo, I will go look at that now.

56

hardest conversation of my life

by metaspy in

moments ago, i talked to my mom.. i told her that i was taking some time off from going to meetings and service.. the conversation went down hill from there.. as her usual she just dismissed my reasons as if they meant nothing.. i pointed to the child molestations as my main reason for leaving.. "you are being over-sensitive", "jehovah takes care of things in his own time", "rely on jehovah".

those were the catch phrases of the conversation.. a new one was: "what have you been reading?".

i have a hard time standing up to my mother.

metaspy

I know I am doing what is right for me.
But I don't know how to avoid a confrontation (as I don't want one and probably can't muster enough courage for one).
[hits head against wall]
Also, I know she will use the "you're turning your back on Jehovah for what man did" logic.
AH! I am not strong enough. I have moved too quickly. d**n!
I already foresee she will talk to her PO who is the best deliberator I have ever met.
He is far beyond my abilities to reason with.

56

hardest conversation of my life

by metaspy in

moments ago, i talked to my mom.. i told her that i was taking some time off from going to meetings and service.. the conversation went down hill from there.. as her usual she just dismissed my reasons as if they meant nothing.. i pointed to the child molestations as my main reason for leaving.. "you are being over-sensitive", "jehovah takes care of things in his own time", "rely on jehovah".

those were the catch phrases of the conversation.. a new one was: "what have you been reading?".

i have a hard time standing up to my mother.

metaspy

Moments ago, I talked to my mom.
I told her that I was taking some time off from going to meetings and service.
The conversation went down hill from there.
As her usual she just dismissed my reasons as if they meant nothing.
I pointed to the child molestations as my main reason for leaving.
"you are being over-sensitive", "Jehovah takes care of things in his own time", "rely on Jehovah"
Those were the catch phrases of the conversation.
A new one was: "What have you been reading?"
I have a hard time standing up to my mother. She is one of the main reasons I have low self esteem.
If ever we have disagreed, I have to bend. Logic, reasoning, truth be d**ned if she disagrees with them.

One of the more predictable moments in the conversation was where she denied that the molestations ever happened.
"you know the congregation, that wouldn't happen - Jehovah's people don't do things like that."
at the end she started crying.
"Don't do this."
I foresee an elder visit in my near future.
How I wish this wasnt the weekend and there would be more support online.

23

Official Watchtower response to NBC...

by drew sagan in

jw
friends

i'm sure it has been posted here, but i didn't see it so i'll put it up: .

on the front page is a response from the watchtower to nbc.

it reads: response to nbc.

metaspy

Um, they say only 13 cases...
I count more than that.
13 documented in Barbara Andersons CD, 16 in August for undisclosed amount, 9 talked about on NBC.
Am I counting the same ones twice or 3 times?

2

Another update of my life...

by metaspy in

i know, most of you probably aren't very interested.

especially since i have not been very active here.

last time i updated everyone, i was beating my head for being stupid.. i am now working at my new job being a web master for a promotional products website.. i have moved from my old apartment where i rented from a "brother".

metaspy

I know, most of you probably aren't very interested. Especially since I have not been very active here. Last time I updated everyone, I was beating my head for being stupid.
I am now working at my new job being a web master for a Promotional Products website.
I have moved from my old apartment where I rented from a "brother".
I have not been to a meeting since I have moved. Though the KH is right down the road from me.

I still hang out with Zelda. She has ended all contact with the JWs (yay!) and has stabilized in her life.
I try to see her at least once a week, sometimes more.
I have spent more time with my non-JW family, even spending Thanksgiving with them.
Only one or two of them officially know of my reasons for my actions.
One of my cousins who does know, has given me some advice on how to proceed.
You all have been very helpful to me. thank you!!!

I will stop by later and let you know how the breaking of the news to my mom and brother goes.
Chances are it will not go well.