hardest conversation of my life

metaspy

Moments ago, I talked to my mom.
I told her that I was taking some time off from going to meetings and service.
The conversation went down hill from there.
As her usual she just dismissed my reasons as if they meant nothing.
I pointed to the child molestations as my main reason for leaving.
"you are being over-sensitive", "Jehovah takes care of things in his own time", "rely on Jehovah"
Those were the catch phrases of the conversation.
A new one was: "What have you been reading?"
I have a hard time standing up to my mother. She is one of the main reasons I have low self esteem.
If ever we have disagreed, I have to bend. Logic, reasoning, truth be d**ned if she disagrees with them.

One of the more predictable moments in the conversation was where she denied that the molestations ever happened.
"you know the congregation, that wouldn't happen - Jehovah's people don't do things like that."
at the end she started crying.
"Don't do this."
I foresee an elder visit in my near future.
How I wish this wasnt the weekend and there would be more support online.

snowbird

DO NOT BACK DOWN!!! STAND UP AND FIGHT!!!

She knows deep inside that you're telling the truth. The tears are to make you feel guilty. Don't fall for it. Who knows what may happen in the future?

Sylvia

Witness 007

Sounds exactly like my mum who is over-emotional...I love her but she drives me nuts.

metaspy

I know I am doing what is right for me.
But I don't know how to avoid a confrontation (as I don't want one and probably can't muster enough courage for one).
[hits head against wall]
Also, I know she will use the "you're turning your back on Jehovah for what man did" logic.
AH! I am not strong enough. I have moved too quickly. d**n!
I already foresee she will talk to her PO who is the best deliberator I have ever met.
He is far beyond my abilities to reason with.

Sad emo

What snowbird said!

Time to start building up your self-esteem, don't let your mum manipulate you any more - or the elders when they turn up.

I recommend the book Lady Lee recommends called Toxic Parents - it'll give you some insight into how to deal tactfully with anything your mum tries to throw at you. I think the first couple of chapters are in Lee's 'Best of' section.

metaspy

thank you sad emo, I will go look at that now.

carla

She really can't use the 'it's all lies' anymore with Barb A's cd containing court documents and there are many cases in which the jw admits to the crimes. Use the wt's themselves in your case for her. There are quotes about 'making sure of all things', 'examine' , and so on. If they have the 'truth' they should not fear any examination.

Sad emo

Just in case you can't find them!

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/59414/1.ashx

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/59448/1.ashx

They're in 'The Best of... Lady Lee' - http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/32/76382/1.ashx

There are a few other articles you may find helpful too

jgnat

You might get inspiration from the story of the Oak and the Reeds.

http://mythfolklore.net/aesopica/milowinter/28.htm

I'd suggest that you be agreeable to anyone your mother might fling your way. Then continue to live your life as you please.

snowbird

He is far beyond my abilities to reason with.

No, he's not. He and your mother would like for you to keep thinking that. You know you're telling the truth; they know it, too. I repeat, DO NOT GIVE IN. Tell them, as we were told as JW's, to prove it to themselves.

This is no time for beating around the bush. The info is out there. It's not about turning your back on Jehovah, giving in to Satan's snares, or any such nonsense. It's simply about what is right. Your mother should be proud of you.

Sylvia

hardest conversation of my life

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