Understanding (in a relationship) is not equale to knowing everything about what is going on sometimes it's blur even for the one who is acting also there are some things which are not worthy to be known (more over if it can only hurt).
I don't think you really need to have more answers than what you already know by now (she's over with your marriage - that doesn't mean that you can't built a real valuable friendly relationship).
In this matter understanding is more about acceptance, wanting the other one to be happy (even without you) can actually make you happy (and in this case free too to rebuilt your life) ...
What's more important is what you will always have to share together : "your kids" so it's all about feeling good about your hability to deal in the best way together and friendly also for them (out of any religious rules - but true love for them).
Posts by RAF
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58I just don't understand
by ttc99wilson inmy wife and i have been married for 8 years and we have 2 boys (8 and 3).
we are both unbaptized publishers and a few weeks ago she told me that she couldn't me married to me anymore and that she wanted her freedom and independence.
now we are pretty much separated and she has been pushing for divorce, she stays and home about 2 nights a week and the other nights she stays somewhere and doesn't tell me where.
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RAF
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26
CHOCOLATE RAIN...contagious! Listen at your own risk!! Beware!!
by Terry inhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewtz2xpqwpa&mode=related&search=.
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RAF
Dogpatch post about : Memetics ...
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/138129/2465218/post.ashx#2465218
BTW the singer looks like Janet Jackson with short hair
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58
I just don't understand
by ttc99wilson inmy wife and i have been married for 8 years and we have 2 boys (8 and 3).
we are both unbaptized publishers and a few weeks ago she told me that she couldn't me married to me anymore and that she wanted her freedom and independence.
now we are pretty much separated and she has been pushing for divorce, she stays and home about 2 nights a week and the other nights she stays somewhere and doesn't tell me where.
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RAF
Don't get us wrong ... WE ARE NOT JUDGING YOU ... Not our right anyway ...
And you know what? just you still talking to us trying to get as much opinion as you can get shows that you really want to work it out ...
The thing is that it wouldn't have been good/fair to just state that she is bad ... Because we know how much this religion is misleading people even in their familly affaires ... You might both just be (like a lot) victimes ...
maybe you'd like to read James Thomas quote once again ...
I feel for you ... but I also feel for her and your kids.
Take care ...
and God bless you all -
58
I just don't understand
by ttc99wilson inmy wife and i have been married for 8 years and we have 2 boys (8 and 3).
we are both unbaptized publishers and a few weeks ago she told me that she couldn't me married to me anymore and that she wanted her freedom and independence.
now we are pretty much separated and she has been pushing for divorce, she stays and home about 2 nights a week and the other nights she stays somewhere and doesn't tell me where.
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RAF
Jgnat : Now you're getting it, thank you.
Approach her with your history as friends and a couple, and try and really listen. Realize you may not be able to salvage the marriage. But you might be able to get through this friends. For your boys' sake.
just to emphase it ...
Best wishes ...
Eddited to add : nice quote of James Thomas from nvr ... BTW
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58
I just don't understand
by ttc99wilson inmy wife and i have been married for 8 years and we have 2 boys (8 and 3).
we are both unbaptized publishers and a few weeks ago she told me that she couldn't me married to me anymore and that she wanted her freedom and independence.
now we are pretty much separated and she has been pushing for divorce, she stays and home about 2 nights a week and the other nights she stays somewhere and doesn't tell me where.
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RAF
She has even went so far to say that she still wants to go to meetings with her mom but they will both find another hall to go to. It seems that she wants out of this marriage but still wants to go to meetings, but that is a conflict and she I think she is having trouble because she realizes that she can't fool Jehovah.
I wish I knew the answer but she is unwilling to talk to me or any of the witnesses besides her mom. And as far as I am concerned her mom is one of those witnesses who leads a double life. She married a wordly man while she was inactive and then started going to meetings again after some time went by. I think my wife will eventually try the same. She can had her witness life when she goes to meetings and when she gets home she can have the world and not have to answer to a Christian husband who is going to question her actions.
Do you really care about what she wants? Why would she care about what you want? why do you think that she feels comfortable with her mom?
Your are ALL lost in the RELIGION SHELVES ... want to follow but can't without messing about most important things (that's what JW doctrine is all about) ... it shoudn't be this way ... bad fruits, bad tree !!! -
58
I just don't understand
by ttc99wilson inmy wife and i have been married for 8 years and we have 2 boys (8 and 3).
we are both unbaptized publishers and a few weeks ago she told me that she couldn't me married to me anymore and that she wanted her freedom and independence.
now we are pretty much separated and she has been pushing for divorce, she stays and home about 2 nights a week and the other nights she stays somewhere and doesn't tell me where.
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RAF
I have made up my mind about getting baptized. I would appreciate not getting advice from those of you that aren't witnesses or who were but aren't now.
Why don't you want you to understand your wife? Maybe it have something to do with your issu ... Cause I guess she is able to understand what you stand for (as a born in JW).
When I'm reading you I can only see a man who needs advice from elders (well, where did it lead till now?) waiting? trying to get something effective against her scripturally (without considering any context? or what ever you may have done wrong yourself for the situation to get there?). I mean she wants to leave you, she is able to (it seems like) forget about her kids - well that deserves a real attention to understand the basis of thoses breaks.
Being closed mind won't help your wife to be open to tell you her real feelings and reasons ... you are closing the doors actually ... how many times have you closed the door just for instance because whatever is not scripturally JW based on many matters? (in knowing - but maybe you don't by now - that the JW doctrine is quiet F*cked up - maybe you'd like to know before to get baptised and more involved in it). You're playing your life and your kids childwood here (you are responsible too even about this matter it will have an impact on them ...).When a woman is ready to forget about her kids (very often : it have way more to do with an other man - it have way more to do whit I'VE GOT ENOUGH I NEED TO BREATH) of course it sounds selfish but maybe she went as far as she could.
My mother did abandon us (I was 12) I have nothing to hold against her about that ... I have more to hold against her following the JW silly rules and putting us and herself in trouble by frustration ... (hope you'll understand what I'm trying to tell you here - for your kids own good).
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21
HOT OR NOT????
by Tatiana ini am one of jehovah's witnesses.
i love to write music and play my guitar.
i love art, motorcycles,cars,reading poetry, meeting new people, and am studying to become a personal trainer.. .
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RAF
His body sounds hot anyway (for the rest I have no idea) I just wonder why he needs to show his body and being rated as hot or not ... oh well ...
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32
do i go with my gut instinct???(long, im sorry, but i need help)
by theinfamousone inso, simply put, i am in love... and love makes a man do some really stupid things.... love makes a pretty damn intelligent man feel pretty damn stupid quite often as well... so here's my story... i have been dating this girl for almost a year now... she is beautiful, sweet, and really just everything i imagined in a life mate... she lives with me... she doesnt work, while i do full time, and also go to school... i make very good money, so that does not bother me... but heres where it all begins... a few months ago, she went to cuba with her sisters, and imoved her into my place while she was gone, her idea, not mine.. now we keep our condoms in a certain place.... anyways, her box of condoms was gone, with her... when she comes back, our little box of condoms is empty.... instead of asking her about it, i explained it to myself as she must have given them to her sister.... .
while i am gone at work, i usually give her a call on my breaks... i notice that she never answers the phone between 6-8 pm.. home or cell... her explanation is that she is always in the shower... the problem with that is that she is always coming out of the shower when i get home.... i get home at around nine... so either she is taking a 3 hour shower or she is taking two showers a night..... she disappears off the face of the earth everytime she goes home to visit her family... like shes not home, shes not answering her phone and only ever calls me when she is in her car....her explanation is that she is at a cousins house.. conveniently, one that i do not know..... last night she went to a wedding... it was over at 11, i know this because she had told me, nd a friend of mine tht was there said that it ended then,,, it was a dry wedding, no dancing... very religious people... i was supposed to meet her at 130 today, i got to the train station that she was coming to, 15 minutes early and waited over an hour there... finally as i decied to walk back home, she gives me a call... i will be home at 5, meet me at the train.... of course, i have been calling her since last night at 11 to tell her i would meet her at 130 as she had planned... i made brunch for her, which is now in the garbage... i was scared shitless she had been hit by a car or dead since her phone has been off since last night.... i asked her why she is so late, i was helping move things until 3am last night... bull shit.. all the gifts were given prior to the weding and the bride and groom had already moved into their new place.... i know because she has told me in the past.....her phone was dead according to her... but all of the sudden, she is able to use it.... no charger, but she can use it..... i did confront her once, and she exploded on me!!!!
like screamed and screamed and said she was insulted i even asked... textbook defensive behaviour right????.
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RAF
Well if you are not acting in a very awful jaleous way (without the condoms story - I would say that it could be a rellelion reaction from her - and even the condom story would have a reason) but if not Ditto JG :
Either she is cheating on you or else she doesnt give a flip about your concerns.
It's not about money, it's about respect and true love (and the way it is you ain't going nowhere good - but crazy)
Set you free.
Take care anyway.
A good man deserve a nice woman (vice and versa). -
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A truly pointless topic . .
by nicolaou injust wanted to get the 3000 post monkey off my back.. .
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RAF
Well ... done
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60
Is the World Really More Violent Today?
by nvrgnbk ina quick perusal of the bible reveals an extremely violent world.. any brief study of human history reveals acts of barbarism and bloody atrocities dispersed across millenia .. is the world of today perhaps safer than ever?.
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RAF
more people (in the world) more of everything (related to people) is possible by then