RAF

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Posts by RAF

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  45

  I am dropping off the face of the web...

  by jgnat in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i leave in a few days.

  nothing drastic, just a glorious road trip through the rockies.

  unless i drag hubby in to a cyber cafe along the way, i will be incommunicado.

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  RAF

  (I do insist on bringing along my sudoku in to the pool, and nobody can stop me).
  
  ok ... have fun !!!
  Read you soon
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  32

  I'm in love and ... scared !!!

  by RAF in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  sorry need to share and to talk about it and maybe in giving me your opinion, talking about your experience, i'll find other ways to deal with it.. .

  i just turned 40 (does this have something to do with it) never been scared about the matter ... but now i wonder what kind of love i've really experienced before (any kind of appeals like complicity for instance, the need to share something in particular with someone, the need to give someone some love?

  ) i dunno for real .... i'm trying to get this out of my head but i can't, i can't, i can't - i'm trying to get interested in other guys but it's just not the same ... and i even wonder how i came to the conclusion that i do love him !!!.

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  RAF

  AK JEFF - Want to know if it is love? Someone told me once to 'go away, don't see or talk to each other by mutual consent for three months'. If when you come back, you both feel the same way - you are both in love with each other. After all it matters the most if you are both in the same place, right?

  Luck and Love to ya' kid - Love gets better after 40 I hear.

  I stayed away for 3 weeks and when we saw each other we were like dogs getting their toy back (too much visible in the first seconds - we calm down very quick - cause there was a lot of people around) it was funny somehow

  Thanks
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  32

  I'm in love and ... scared !!!

  by RAF in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  sorry need to share and to talk about it and maybe in giving me your opinion, talking about your experience, i'll find other ways to deal with it.. .

  i just turned 40 (does this have something to do with it) never been scared about the matter ... but now i wonder what kind of love i've really experienced before (any kind of appeals like complicity for instance, the need to share something in particular with someone, the need to give someone some love?

  ) i dunno for real .... i'm trying to get this out of my head but i can't, i can't, i can't - i'm trying to get interested in other guys but it's just not the same ... and i even wonder how i came to the conclusion that i do love him !!!.

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  RAF

  Snowbird : RAF, I know how you feel.

  It is scary because of the intensity of your feelings. Just take it slowly - as if that is easy to do - enjoy the time you have together and let tomorrow take care of itself.

  Yeah ... anyway there is nothing else I can't do (won't run away - won't force it)

  Thank you all !!!
• 
  32

  I'm in love and ... scared !!!

  by RAF in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  sorry need to share and to talk about it and maybe in giving me your opinion, talking about your experience, i'll find other ways to deal with it.. .

  i just turned 40 (does this have something to do with it) never been scared about the matter ... but now i wonder what kind of love i've really experienced before (any kind of appeals like complicity for instance, the need to share something in particular with someone, the need to give someone some love?

  ) i dunno for real .... i'm trying to get this out of my head but i can't, i can't, i can't - i'm trying to get interested in other guys but it's just not the same ... and i even wonder how i came to the conclusion that i do love him !!!.

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  RAF

  Thanks all for your answers

  Jgnat : You're in love.....or lust

  I've experienced lust and I guess that I would know if it was about lust because I wouldn't be scared ... I would just get read of it either in making my mind about the guy does not worth it ... or since I'm free and can't fight against it I would just get into it to cut the feeling short ... I mean I like sex but I need something else to like sex with the other one ... so that would only lead me to a one night stand and if nothing bigger comes out of it well ... basta (nothing scary about)

  Since I'm scared I'm lost ... just don't want to rush into anything I'd rather lose it ... just to keep pure the present feeling that I have.

  BCberean : The problem isn't getting rid of the FEAR...but processing and expressing it....which..btw... YOU are doing right now

  Yep I'm trying and here I am ...

  Talking about it and your answers actually pushed me a little bit further on the thinking process about why the FEAR.

  What I'm feeling in his arms I've never felt it from those I was supposed to get it (my mother, my father, whoever for instance I've always felt like I could take over whatever way better without them - there was more problems or dissapointement expecting anything from them than coping and fighting alone)
  
  But rationnaly talking, I'm talking about a feeling here, I don't really know the guy ... what's weird is that the feeling is soooooooo strong ... where does it come from for real???

  So of course : (the following comes at the right moment about the feeling)

  DJK : Stay with it for a while and if it continues to grow, then you'll know if it's love.

  I guess I don't really have the choice ... But it's just too big already (but there is nothing really rational to stand on)

  TyroneVL :

  the reason I've talked about marriage is because I'm actually very, very, very against just like you said somehow love is an everyday involvement when marriage is only a vow.

  That's why I'm even more scared about the fact that I've thought about it, like geeezz if this guy would want me to make this vow or even have kids I don't think I would be able to say NO ... I would like to please him without any consideration about my habillity to bear it (scary, scary, scary).

  Thank you Tyrone I can tell I've met really good friends on here BTW !!! Love you !!!

  and then

  nvrgnbk : Life is short! Enjoy!

  Yep ... Now that's the thing what will I miss, what would I lose depending on what's next (usualy I don't care I just go with my guts - and pay the full price when I'm wrong) for the very first time I'm stucked !!! Because what I'm really enjoying right now is the feeling itself

  and then the details :

  Greendawn : Do you want a long term, deep relationship rather than an ephemeral one? Many believe that sex without any feelings is a very shallow experience. So it depends how you perceive true and pretentious love.

  The thing is that I don't really want anything but something deep/real/new (and something is new here I really feel good in his arms) whatever time it last - I just don't want to be dissapointed - that's why somehow by now and don't need or want more than that : being in his arms once in while to get this feeling again and as long as possible.

  Most of the time guys more see me like a warrior/amazon I would say ... and somehow it put me in this situation ... but the way he is holding me is like he knows how very, very, very sensitive I am for real ... So it feels like he have a deeper understanding of who I am, and since he shows it this way I feel like he is able to protect me at least this way ... Means that I can fail I will still have those arms to tell me ... don't care baby I understand ... and that's all what I need (not even him to arrange anything or what - I might not even care about what's wrong) just knowing that he understands me is enough. I mean for once somehow I feel like a woman (not a man somehow in a woman's body).

  and now I'm reading this topic again to see If I have more answers to think about and

  Terry : You are going to laugh when I say the following sentence because it comes from me.

  No, I do appreciate your input on this matter for instance - and I actually agree with it (I mean we don't have to agree on everything when I don't you know about it)

  Terry : But, don't bother DEFINING the situation with a word. Don't put it in a box with a label. JUST GO WITH IT!

  That's what I think and do most of the time when I have strong feelings but here I am in a very new situation and it brings so much relief as well as it got me scared that I for once wonder if I should or not keep this guy as a friend even lose him (as a man or friend) but keep the feeling pure and alive (is this possible ?)
  
  Lonelysheep : I'm happy for you.

  Thank you ... actually that's what it's all about ... Just the feeling itself is good ... it's like by now more than that would be too much to handle (by me) ... but at the same time and for the very first time, for me it's like whatever he would want from me (which have something to do with love) he would get it ... which makes me feel quiet dependant already (scary, scary, scary).
• 
  32

  I'm in love and ... scared !!!

  by RAF in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  sorry need to share and to talk about it and maybe in giving me your opinion, talking about your experience, i'll find other ways to deal with it.. .

  i just turned 40 (does this have something to do with it) never been scared about the matter ... but now i wonder what kind of love i've really experienced before (any kind of appeals like complicity for instance, the need to share something in particular with someone, the need to give someone some love?

  ) i dunno for real .... i'm trying to get this out of my head but i can't, i can't, i can't - i'm trying to get interested in other guys but it's just not the same ... and i even wonder how i came to the conclusion that i do love him !!!.

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  RAF

  Sorry need to share and to talk about it and maybe in giving me your opinion, talking about your experience, I'll find other ways to deal with it.
  
  I just turned 40 (does this have something to do with it) Never been scared about the matter ... but now I wonder what kind of love I've really experienced before (any kind of appeals like complicity for instance, the need to share something in particular with someone, the need to give someone some love?) I dunno for real ...

  I'm trying to get this out of my head but I can't, I can't, I can't - I'm trying to get interested in other guys but it's just not the same ... and I even wonder how I came to the conclusion that I do love HIM !!!

  We are not together (I see him almost once a week) he is handsome but really it is not what got me interested in him - but the subble ways he shows his interest in me like he is not expecting anything in return)

  I for the very first time fell comfortable in the idea of being married (still trying to fight against this idea though ... but it's like if HE would like it I would want it) Same thing about having kids (a bit late since I'm 40 - and really I'm not a mother in heart - I mean it's a Job - so all together in knowing that we are not together : why did I even thought about it)

  And even worse I wouldn't care loosing him (I even feel a big relief when it happens that I think that he is interested in someone else - it's like it would set me free and get this weird feeling out of me) ... the only thing I would miss for real is the feeling I've got when I'm in his arms !!! never felt this way : like nothing can happen to me when he is holding me.

  Am I going crazy here? Is this true love for a man?

  I've never told him anything about that ... he doesn't either (and maybe because it's an illusion from me) ... I'm not in hurry to get there at all, at all, at all ... I'm lost, feel dependant ... Arrrrgh ! ... I need to breath ... And maybe i'm scared to dissapointing him ... all together I don't know what I want or even what it is all about exactly.

  If you recognise yourself or anyone in what I've describeded here can you tell me what it was all about and was the next step? (good or bad)
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  22

  My Theory

  by Princess Daisy Boo in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have had this theory for a very long time and i would like to hear what everyone has to say about this.. i think that people are either inherantly religious or not.

  if they are inherantly religious, then the wtbts will naturally apeal to them, all the deep in depth study and the bible analysis and so on.

  they feel the need to look to a higher source for fulfilment.. and then there are those that are not inherantly religious... the ones the prefer to concentrate on the here and now.

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  RAF

  Your theory makes sense anyway
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  32

  Is it SABOTAGE or HONESTY

  by BCberean in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i think i just lost another man because of the 'sex within the confines of marriage' issue.. my sister said i should wait til i have them hooked before i make it clear where i stand.. doesn't seem quite honest to me......but....i'm wondering if i'm somehow sabotaging the relationship.. .

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  RAF

  You know what? I like the way you express yourself on the matter ... sounds genuine and true ! (charming in fact)
• 
  32

  Is it SABOTAGE or HONESTY

  by BCberean in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i think i just lost another man because of the 'sex within the confines of marriage' issue.. my sister said i should wait til i have them hooked before i make it clear where i stand.. doesn't seem quite honest to me......but....i'm wondering if i'm somehow sabotaging the relationship.. .

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  RAF

  Yep : All together, you do not sound like you are really in love with him ... and he doesn't sound to really attract you physically either... SO
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  32

  Is it SABOTAGE or HONESTY

  by BCberean in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i think i just lost another man because of the 'sex within the confines of marriage' issue.. my sister said i should wait til i have them hooked before i make it clear where i stand.. doesn't seem quite honest to me......but....i'm wondering if i'm somehow sabotaging the relationship.. .

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  RAF

  also, maybe you'll get something to think about this :

  • the most trashfull prostitute can find someone who really loves her
  • the most higher on moral about sex abstention before marriage can finally end up with a man who only needs an householder (and will find whatever else he needs somewhere else).

  the only questions left is : Is it love? for who? for What?

  The reason why I only stand on feelings is because therefore It's only about my feelings (no regrets - did I really had the choice? or this is what I've wanted) whatever will happen.
  
  Love and making love is a gift (you might be wrong on who you gave it too - well take it as an experience) but it doesn't diminishe the gift nor who you are. Whoever will judge you on that do not even worth you to give him/her a bit of attention.

  your body = your right - I mean if you don't want to have sex, don't (it's not about you need to be married before or not, you might realised that even married you may not want to have sex even with your husband anyway). the thing is just that you don't want to (there is something to do about it or not) but whenever you force someone or are forced about that it's a rape somehow.

  Now if you want to ... well you still have to take care of some stuff but certainely not : will he marry me at the end? what if the guy you love dies before? life is short ... love is good ... sex is cool (just don't put to much weight into it to get what you want or about losing whatever when love is involved at least on your side - you'll never really know about the other one - people change - and you will change either)

  Integrity is also about not lying to yourself (and well take responsability is just matter of maturity - which suppose to go through experience).
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  16

  all Watchtower material contains coded messages.

  by under_believer in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  under_believer has joined the mason/illuminati/shapeshifting lizardman conspiracy theory crowd!

  everything the watchtower writes for witness consumption has a subtext.

  there is a difference between what they actually write, which anyone in the public can read, and what they actually mean.

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  RAF

  Yep !!!
  
  about the subject I've actually was really satisfied when my sister after the last assemblee (last week-end - which only went to see what's next - I guess just in case they would give a new date !!!) realised how codified (means that she was able to translate) their messages was ... everything is evil but the Org (do not believe wathever people say against us - put all your time an interest into the Org's/Gods service - forget about everything else it's all bad, bad, bad) ... they are the only channel of God (while talking about Jesus only using him to actually take his place in peoples spirit).

  And well she realised that nothing in all this is supposed to lead to pay attention about LOVE ...