Posts by jamiebowers

41

....and a new wrinkle

by outsmartthesystem in

jw
friends

so i was giving my daughter a hug at bed time last night.

she stands up at the foot of her bed and wraps her arms around my neck.

she then asks why i don't serve jehovah anymore.

jamiebowers

Ynot:

His 5 year old first need is for stability in their home.

You might noticed I mentioned his wife and his daughter not trusting him.....

While his wife will more than likely be wary for several months, his child will probably be ready to follow his gentle lead within a week or two (maybe less if she has been a 'daddy's girl').

I believe I saw on the other thread he said he had ordered "Teach Your Children How to Think".

It is far easier to begin teaching such if he remains married to their mother.....

If he doesn't go back (or at least appear to be trying) he will remain suspect to some extent.

I have seen JW children dismiss their unbelieving parents ......his daughter very well might be the type to go that route because she feels in her heart that is the right thing to do......

His wife is already showing some classic reactions...... pushing these buttons will only lead to more division and disharmony....and all the 5 year old is going to discern is 'its daddy's fault because daddy doesn't love and obey Jehovah and he is trying to get me to do it too" ....daddy is already cast as an 'enemy of Jehovah' in her mind.....so falling back, recreating trust allows him to replace that negativity in her mind and allows him the opportunity to lead her to critical thinking and knowing her daddy loves her, he is trustworthy, stable, predictable and strong .....he keeps her safe....daddy isn't the 'bad guy'.

It seems to me that going back is not an option for him. Again, the Watch Tower isn't God, nor does it have the strength of the law of the land. Both Anon ymous and Mamalove have custodial agreements that legally bind the jw parent not to attempt to alienate the ex-jw parent. Hopefully this will become a growing trend. But the OP will never know if he has this possibility until he consults an attorney.

IMO, protecting the kids is the goal here. Pussyfooting around a cult isn't going to help them. Taking a stand by teaching the kids critical thinking skills and giving them an opportunity to experience the real world is the only way to help them out of the indocrination.

41

....and a new wrinkle

by outsmartthesystem in

jw
friends

so i was giving my daughter a hug at bed time last night.

she stands up at the foot of her bed and wraps her arms around my neck.

she then asks why i don't serve jehovah anymore.

jamiebowers

Again, Ynot, with all due respect, his kids are getting older and more indoctrinated by the minute. Asking a five-year old questions about her declarations is the best way to begin teaching her critical thinking skills.

29

Did You Have A Lot Of Meetings With The Elders?

by minimus in

jw
friends

we're you always in the back room with the elders?.

jamiebowers

I don't remember the exact number, but it was more than a few. I wasn't called to the back room. It was either me or my crazy jw ex-husband going to the elders about his strange and violent behavior like buying porn magazines, performing autofelatio, and beating me and threatening my life. He was counseled to control himself, and I was told to be a better wife.

375

The Governing Body intends to announce significant changes in academic literature (DOCTRINES) - Brazil

by Dogpatch in

jw
friends

dear randall.

good morning!.

here is the daniel of brazil (former bethel).. this week at the forum of former jehovah's witnesses had an interesting news!

jamiebowers

The change isn't related to d2d. See the August 1 2012 BOE letter posted by Atlantis. The letter dictates aux pio hours and how to work territory in March 2013.

Then why is the elders meeting being held in order for them to learn how to help the rank and file with significant changes?

65

need your advice again, please

by outsmartthesystem in

jw
friends

so here's the latest in my pathetic saga.

i've tried to fly under the radar for the past year, but it isn't working so well.

i've learned not to engage my wife in debates but rather to ask questions.

jamiebowers

Do you really think she could/would win full custody? I am a good dad. I have a lot of people in my industry and my community that would have my back. You really think they might give her FULL custody? What would she have against me in order to get such a result?

These questions are exactly the reason you should get the JW Child Custody book and get to an attorney now. You'll get a good idea what your chances are of gettting at least joint custody with the ability to make educational and medical decisions for your kids.

Ynot, with all due respect, his kids are getting older by the minute. He doesn't have time to go back in, and quite frankly, it doesn't seem that he'd be able to do that anyway. The Watch Tower is a cult; it is not God. It and its congregants must obey the law of the land, and that's why he should be getting legal advice.

65

need your advice again, please

by outsmartthesystem in

jw
friends

so here's the latest in my pathetic saga.

i've tried to fly under the radar for the past year, but it isn't working so well.

i've learned not to engage my wife in debates but rather to ask questions.

jamiebowers

Jamie Bowers:

"The first thing I think you should do is consult a very good divorce and child custody attorney who is either willing to learn about or able to handle jw issues just to have her/him at the ready in case the worst happens. Second, start exposing your kids to crirical thinking skills and the real world NOW! Third, reiterate to your wife how her social standing will be ruined if/when you're df'd and ask her to compare you being shunned with how her father was treated by her grandfather."

OutsmarttheSystem:

I've considered that. I haven't brought myself to do it yet because mentally, I fell like once I've done that.....I've officially thrown in the towel. I've just ordered "Teach Your Children How to Think". I will reiterate how her social life will change.....but she won't care. She is a different kind of person. She has never had many friends because she wears her emotions on her sleeve and gives it to you straight up. There is no sugar coating with her. If she believes in something.....she'll go after it - detractors be damned. She doesn't care what people think. So her response to me when I tell her about the potential change in her social life will be "I don't care. If I were in your shoes and I thought MY religion was wrong.....I'd have been knocking on the door of Bethel a long time ago."

Think of it this way...buying a home security system doesn't mean you're resigned to the fact that your house is going to be burgalarized. Using birth control doesn't mean you're never going to have children. These things are protections, just as consulting an attorney is. If she doesn't care about what her social life would be like or how people view her if you are df'd, then all the better for you. You being df'd for having questions may be the only thing that will help her see the truth about the "truth".

65

Candace Conti's Attorney Takes the Stage

by Juan Viejo2 in

rick simons takes the stage and tells why the candace conti lawsuit was the right case at the right time against the watchtower.. this is the first of at least three videos documenting mr. simons' presentation on july 14, 2012. .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffywyvy9anm.

last segments of this program should be up within a few hours.. .

jamiebowers

My mother was studying to be a jw, and her husband was very opposed. She was running to the elders over every little thing in her life, and I'm certain that her husband molesting me was one of the things she confided in them. What is simply amazing to me is that they covered up for a child molester who wasn't even a jw. Anyway, when Simons said that Evelyn Kendrick was blamed by the elders for her daughter's molestation, because she wasn't having enough sex with her molester husband, I almost fainted. That is the exact excuse my mother used for her husband. She told me that because they were fighting so much over the "truth" they weren't having sex. So, of course, the natural recourse was for her husband to grab his 12-year old stepdaughter, force her onto a bed, and try to rape her. I fought him with a vengence, and he was not able to rape me. I got away from him, but the damage was done anyway. I spent the next 14 years wondering what was so vile about me that my mother's husband would attempt something like that.

And here's the kicker. He became a jw, and make no mistake about it, he was NOT supervised. He eventually became an elder and has spent a large portion of time with a relative on my mom's side of the family from the time she was a small child. She even spent summers at their house, for Christ's sake! I have no idea if he molested any other children.

This cult is sick, sick, sick. And if the Watch Tower can't be held legally responsible for their corrupt advice to families where child molestation has occured, then I hope the molested child's guardian can be pursued and prosecuted. It's too late for me. I already checked, and the statute of limitations on a criminal case against my molester and/or my irresponsible, neglectful mother has expired. But as far as I'm concerned, they and people like them deserve to be put in jail.

65

need your advice again, please

by outsmartthesystem in

jw
friends

so here's the latest in my pathetic saga.

i've tried to fly under the radar for the past year, but it isn't working so well.

i've learned not to engage my wife in debates but rather to ask questions.

jamiebowers

You asked for opinions, so here goes! The first thing I think you should do is consult a very good divorce and child custody attorney who is either willing to learn about or able to handle jw issues just to have her/him at the ready in case the worst happens. Second, start exposing your kids to crirical thinking skills and the real world NOW! Third, reiterate to your wife how her social standing will be ruined if/when you're df'd and ask her to compare you being shunned with how her father was treated by her grandfather. Then review the questions that you have with her. Fourth, send them to the elders and not the Watch Tower, so you'll be following the chain of command.

Then let the chips fall where they may. If she divorces you for doing exactly what she wanted you to do, then fight her tooth and nail for at least joint custody with you having decision making ability for educational and medical issues for your kids. Try to stay as calm and reasonable as possible throughout this process, so the kids don't become afraid of you. If it comes to all that, there are attorneys and counselors who can be provided for the children, and orders can be written into the divorce/custody agreements that forbid your wife to trash you for your df'd state.

375

The Governing Body intends to announce significant changes in academic literature (DOCTRINES) - Brazil

by Dogpatch in

jw
friends

dear randall.

good morning!.

here is the daniel of brazil (former bethel).. this week at the forum of former jehovah's witnesses had an interesting news!

jamiebowers

Mickey Mouse:

Something in Candace Conti's lawyer's comments makes me wonder if it's to do with the field service. The reason the org was held responsible for Jonathan Kendrick being able to molest children was that he was participating in the ministry as an ordained minister. Perhaps they will make the ministry a personal decision (which they have to know would mean an end to field circus for at least 50% of dubs). Cost saving in literature and less liability for them.

I think you may be onto something. What with the Watch Tower article about changes to the preaching work and the attorney's comments, the big change must involve field service. But as Wasblind pointed out, the Watch Tower already claims that the door to door work is voluntary, so it can't be that the announcement will make it a personal decision to engage in the ministry.

I'm wondering if the Watch Tower will make it a rule that only family members can go out in field service together or forbid children from participating at all. They've already changed the book study to family worship night, so why not change field service into family ministry day?

63

Email from my grandmother yesterday.

by elder-schmelder in

here is an email that my grandmother sent me yesterday.. .

shawn, it's very difficult & sad to come to this decision, but because of your attitude towards the truth & us personally (thinking that we are stupid) we're going to treat you as a disfellowshipped person from now on.

actually, you're worse than them because usually they know they have not kept their oath to jehovah & don't speak abusively of the organization and don't turn apostate.

jamiebowers

This is terrible, but enough outrage. Quickly and quietly start looking for another job or a way to start your own business. Keep copies of all correspondance with her about your current position. If she fires you, sue her. You'd win if the firing was over religion. Then she may not have anything to leave anyone if she wants to keep her business up and running.

I know the emotional part of this is devastating, but you have to go into survival mode now. My jw ex-husband tried to hold our home over my head by refusing to sell it, rent it out, or buy me out. He lost all power over me whe I told him he could have it. You should've seen the look on his face. Granted, I lost out on thousands of dollars and lost most of my possessions, but I was free!

Thankfully you won't have to go this route, because although your grandmother is acting badly, at least she's not threatening to kill you. Time and the law is on your side as far as your job is concerned. Imagine the freedom you'd have if you completely got away from her.