I think it's easier for a jw to shun a family member if there's something to hide. But the act of shunning among jws is a Watch Tower tactic to keep the rank and file from learning TTATT.
jamiebowers
JoinedPosts by jamiebowers
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19
Is shunning an expression of love or just a place for the shunner to hide?
by cha ching into three people in my family, disfellowshipping / shunning is just a tool the wtbs uses to hide what really happened.... they don't want people to 'see behind the curtain.'.
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"You have to find out her fears and exploit that. What is her worst fear?"
by cognac inliterally, a text message to my husband from one of his "friends".
he also wrote, "it's in her hands.
it's her move now.
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jamiebowers
As much as I dislike your husband for all of the shit he's put you through during your marriage, I certainly hope he hasn't completely lost his marbles. You're doing the right thing by having him evaluated by professionals. It sounds as if the emotional terrorism that the elders and his friends have displayed have gotten to him more than it has to you.
Now continue the professional involvement with getting a good lawyer and possibly a counselor for you. Be proactive, not reactive. The Watch Tower cult will attack you from every angle, so stand strong, and get all of the help you need to protect yourself and your kids.
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My family has known I'm an apostate
by cognac ini found out that my husband has not only gone to the elders, but has been going to members of my family about me over a period of a few years.
this piece of news is just so depressing.
i've been wondering how my family knew i didn't go and thats why so many of them have becoming more and more distant.
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jamiebowers
@Balaasmsass2: It is possible he has been gathering sympathy and percieved support for a long time in preparation for an eventual split. If he has his eye on someone else, he will need to demonize you to others and himself to justify a divorce for "spiritual endangerment" and hope you "free him" soon after, so he can re-marry asap.
IMO, you hit the nail on the head! Cognac's soon to be exhusband has down some pretty low-down, dirty things during their marriage. And he's been building support with her jw family behind her back all along. Cognac, my dear, as I told you in a recent pm, there will be no amicable divorce with someone like him, especially a jw. He's being all reasonable now that he thinks he's got your family on his side. Get a good attorney, get full custody. I know you're hurt, but now is the time to protect yourself and your kids. After it's all over, you'll realize that he was never worthy of you.
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Year 3: Personal Experiences
by Londo111 inhttp://youtu.be/nnnabt9x5lm?list=plynx0om_bmgdobkrzev2tax1jzdquagy8.
this is my third year since i signed up on jwn and i wanted to do something a bit different--a slight unmasking of sorts and greet everyone face to face.
even with the help of a few notes, this is rambling, raw, and by no means the best personal experience video out there.
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jamiebowers
I already know your sweet face and personality from Facebook. Oh, and you do have nice hair! Thank for making the video.
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Year 3: Personal Experiences
by Londo111 inhttp://youtu.be/nnnabt9x5lm?list=plynx0om_bmgdobkrzev2tax1jzdquagy8.
this is my third year since i signed up on jwn and i wanted to do something a bit different--a slight unmasking of sorts and greet everyone face to face.
even with the help of a few notes, this is rambling, raw, and by no means the best personal experience video out there.
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jamiebowers
I already know your sweet face and personality from Facebook. Oh, and you do have nice hair! Thank for making the video.
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Elders are going to the CO on me
by cognac ini celebrated halloween and my birthday and the elders have been told.
husband told the elders i've called the religion a cult.
they said i'm "heading down a road to be an apostate.
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jamiebowers
The elders have no power over you anymore, so there's no need to meet with them. Please also make it clear that they will not meet with your children, and that if they attempt to do so, you will use it in court over custody issues. Probably the reason they asked about your dad is because the elders view your husband and your father as having control over you. It seems to me that they're hoping your dad will straighten you out, so all they have to do is listen to you grovel for their forgiveness....assholes!
There is no negotiating with these jerks. I think they're just trying to lure you to a jc, so they can df you. Your case isn't unique at all.
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Marriage is done
by cognac inits been done for a long time.
relieved with the idea of finally being free without the fight.
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jamiebowers
Good for you for realizing what's done is done. Now get a good lawyer who is trained in the Watch Tower's deceptive practices, so you can get court orders about the cult's influence ovr your kids. Pm me if you want me to put you in touch with a woman who did just that. I think you two may live in the same state, but I can't remember for certain where you live. It's been a while since you and I talked.
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Girls names
by FeelingFree inok so i know its not really anything to do with jwness but we are struggling with baby names and really can't think of one we both like.
its getting a bit desperate as i'm due in about 8 weeks .. i'm getting bored of looking at the same old names on the baby names websites so any suggestions would be much appreciated (girls please).. **cash prize for the one we choose!
** ....... no not really lol.. .
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jamiebowers
I like the name Delia, (pronounced Deal ya).
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Small (tiny) victories
by disposable hero of hypocrisy ini had a conversation with my wife today about child abuse as it's in the news, and i managed to slip in the fact that wt (not an individual, but the .org itself) has just been ruled against in the states to the tune of 13 million or so.
she knows i'm opposed to the procedures we have in place, and she can definitely see that it makes sense to go straight to the police, and said she would do immediately if it were our children.
we had a fairly local case where the elders positively marched the offender to the station themselves, and good for them for doing so, but she most likely thinks everyone would do that out of common sense.
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jamiebowers
@goingthruthemotions: she than said, thats why we don't let them go to the bathroom alone.
OMG, that's just willfull ignorance! I haven't read a single case of jw kids being molested in bathrooms of assembly or kingdom halls. These creeps are much more insidious than that. They molest while out in field service or during overnight visits with their kids. I would point out to your wife that the Watch Tower's two witness rule makes it impossible to trust any "brother" anywhere. The secretive nature of the Watch Tower when it comes to child abuse not only protects the abuser but puts all jw men under suspicion, because there is no transparency.
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Is It Just Me??
by What Now? inwe're 2 years in to our exit from the witnesses.
we're not disfellowshipped or disassociated ... just inactive.
none of our friends speak to us anymore.
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jamiebowers
As your son gets older and starts school, you'll have opportunity to meet the parents of his classmates. For now, can you find a Mommy and Me or Gymboree class? Something like that will help the social lives of both you and our son.
Anytime my family sees my son "misbehave" (as toddlers do!) they make a point of saying how they see such a difference in him compared to kids at the kingdom hall ... and it makes me second guess myself.
Well, thank God, Fate, your Lucky Stars, or whoever else may be in charge! Remember these same people would deny your son a life-savng blood transfusion. You can't rely on their judgment for anything!