Posts by jamiebowers

9

How Do Your Worldly "Relatives" Handle JWs at Family Reunions?

by jamiebowers in

jw
friends

recently i read a post that said exjws in a particular family could not attend family functions/reunions even with "worldly" relatives because of the jws in the family.

i can't remember what thread it was on, but i didn't reply, because it was off topic of the thread, and i didn't want to be a highjacker.

last year i organized a family reunion on my jw mother's side.

jamiebowers

The JWs come and bring card games, board games, etc., and sit in the corner and play games with each other! They'll turn the backs to all of the "worldly" people and act like we're not there! My sister is having her 25th wedding anniversary party this weekend. Of course, I wasn't invited. I'm going to send my sister a card anyway, just so she knows that I know about her party.

I hear about my mom through either inactive jw or "worldly" relatives. According to my hardcore jw mother, jws can attend family functions even if they know da'd and df'd ones will be there, if the function is held in a public place. Well, she still chose not to come to the family reunion, although it was held in a public hall. I imagine she didn't come, because she also heard that I confirmed to an inactive jw relative some particularly nasty things about my childhood. Unfortunately, my mom's jw siblings kind of follow her lead, because she has turned at least one of them in to the elders for so-called misbehavior. My mother's jw sister held a wake at her house for a "fleshly" brother who wasn't a jw and allowed her df'd kids to attend, and she got in BIG TROUBLE for that. St. Ann, when you send your sister a card for her 25th anniversary, make sure you mention that you knew about the party, because just sending a card may only make her think that you remembered her anniversary.

God, I hate this cult! It causes so many hurt feelings!

4

Tell Your Story...

by Moxie in

it all started when i found this website jwd.... over the last few months i have for the first time been able to share my experiences as a former jw with others who truly understand.

the warmth, compassion and kindness i have experienced has been the first step in a nine year process of healing since my exit from the religion.

some of you may know that at about the same time i began reading and posting here, that i also began writing my own blog about my experiences.

jamiebowers

I book marked your blog and will write my experience as soon as I can. Thanks for the opportunity!

35

Has Shunning Caused Anyone to Miss Seeing a Parent Before Their Death?

by jamiebowers in

jw
friends

reading about the passing of wings' mom got me to thinking.

my mother has shunned me completely for the past 20 years with the exception of three conversations about health history.

if i outlive my mom, the probability is great that she will die without me ever seeing or talking to her in any kind of meaningful way.

jamiebowers

OMG, ohiocowboy, mouthy & fjtoth: sad beyond words.

I do have a question for anyone who experiences such severe shunning: Have you tried just confronting the relative and saying: "You cannot shun me"...

No, I haven't. Has anyone else? If so, how did it work out?

9

How Do Your Worldly "Relatives" Handle JWs at Family Reunions?

by jamiebowers in

jw
friends

recently i read a post that said exjws in a particular family could not attend family functions/reunions even with "worldly" relatives because of the jws in the family.

i can't remember what thread it was on, but i didn't reply, because it was off topic of the thread, and i didn't want to be a highjacker.

last year i organized a family reunion on my jw mother's side.

jamiebowers

Thanks everyone for commenting. My family sounds par for the course, I guess. We're having another reunion this summer, and as far as I know all of the da'd, df'd inactive and marked will be there. I can hardly wait! I imagine most if not all of the dubs will be no shows again this year.

35

Has Shunning Caused Anyone to Miss Seeing a Parent Before Their Death?

by jamiebowers in

jw
friends

reading about the passing of wings' mom got me to thinking.

my mother has shunned me completely for the past 20 years with the exception of three conversations about health history.

if i outlive my mom, the probability is great that she will die without me ever seeing or talking to her in any kind of meaningful way.

jamiebowers

Reading about the passing of Wings' mom got me to thinking. My mother has shunned me completely for the past 20 years with the exception of three conversations about health history. If I outlive my mom, the probability is great that she will die without me ever seeing or talking to her in any kind of meaningful way.

Question: Has anyone experienced their parent/s passing away without any contact for years?

9

How Do Your Worldly "Relatives" Handle JWs at Family Reunions?

by jamiebowers in

jw
friends

recently i read a post that said exjws in a particular family could not attend family functions/reunions even with "worldly" relatives because of the jws in the family.

i can't remember what thread it was on, but i didn't reply, because it was off topic of the thread, and i didn't want to be a highjacker.

last year i organized a family reunion on my jw mother's side.

jamiebowers

Recently I read a post that said exjws in a particular family could not attend family functions/reunions even with "worldly" relatives because of the jws in the family. I can't remember what thread it was on, but I didn't reply, because it was off topic of the thread, and I didn't want to be a highjacker.

Last year I organized a family reunion on my jw mother's side. She was one of 11 children, and including her, there are three siblings who are jws. Of course, some of their children, grandchildren and in a few cases, great grandchildren are also jws, and some are not. Almost 100 people showed up, but none of the jws came. My "worldly" relatives seemed to be of the opinion that everyone should be allowed to attend and screw those who chose not to.

So, my questions: How many of you are kept from family functions, (even with "worldly" ones attending), because you are da'd, df'd or marked? Why? What does your worldly family think?

43

Do you ever think of going back to a meeting?

by digderidoo in

jw
friends

ok this is for all of you who don't attend anymore.. i had a friend come over last night.

we've been best mates since we were kids, he was brought up in the ' truth ', but left a number of years ago.

we talk about just everything.

jamiebowers

IMHO, you are experiencing the same thing a battered wife or abused child goes through. They don't want the abuse, but they want the familiarity of the abuser. It's wierd, but somewhat normal, I think. No, I've never wanted to go to a meeting, I am firmly convinced that, though most of the rank and file may be good people, they are under the spell of evil leadership. These nuts didn't hesitate to put and keep me in a life threatening marriage. Once you really grapple with and understand the evilness of mind manipulation, you won't want to go anymore. I've been out for 20 years and have developed a kind of mental claustrophobia. If there is even a hint of control or conformity, I feel sick and panicky.

38

Did you return to celebrating holidays?

by song19 in

jw
friends

with this new light, i am starting to try and figure out what to do with my life and my time... now that the world is opened up for me to finally explore.. i have been wondering if i will return to celebrating the holidays with my 'worldly' relatives.

my parents, brother, and in-laws are all witnesses.

i have pretty much rejected the holidays say for 25 years.

jamiebowers

Yes, like a gleeful demon! And we go all out. For Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas I bake, my husband decorates for me, I buy and wrap gifts, make Easter baskets and have about a dozen or so people over for dinner. I love the holidays so much that I shop throughout the year for sales on things that I know people would like. For people who live close by, we never fail to have some kind of birthday party, and I have an extensive list of people who aren't local to send birthday and Christmas cards to. During the summer national holidays, we have huge outdoor parties. Our city does a fabulous fire works display on the 4th of July, and they are set off right across the street from our house. We usually have about 100 people at that one. My dear husband sets up dining canopies, a screened food tent and dozens of tables and chairs. I do the prep work on the food, and he grills to his heart's content. It's a blast!

A lot of things have pagan origins: days of the week, months of the year, lipstick, etc. Do what makes you happy. We have provided many people who are sick or have no one else to celebrate with, very happy times. That's what makes me happy. Strangers actually stop to comment on our Christmas decorations that takes my husband about a week to put up. One time I overheard my stepson bitching about having to put up the many outdoor Christmas decorations, and my dear husband said, "Jamie didn't have this as a kid, and by God, she'll have it now." He's such a wonderful man! The day after Christmas, I buy $100 worth of additional outdoor decorations. At this point, they take up most of our attic. I could write all day long about the number of lovely experiences I've had as a result of the Christmas spirit. From a practical point, you could look at the holidays as a reminder to take a break from everyday life, give, receive and celebrate.

81

Ever have a paranormal event in your life, please share?

by free2beme in

jw
friends

i am one who believes strongly in the spirit realm, paranormal activity, etc.

even with such a strong belief, i am often told by skeptics that such things are foolish and nonsense.

while i accept people have the right to feel however they want, i have often shared stories with people that are hard to explain with logic and find others have events like this too.

jamiebowers

Oh, I forgot to mention one more story. The lady who called the police when she heard footsteps in my house also had the lights turned off on her while she was taking a shower in the first floor bathroom. I was home when it happened, and she was pissed at me, because she thought I did it as a joke. Well, I didn't do it, and no one else was there except us.

81

Ever have a paranormal event in your life, please share?

by free2beme in

jw
friends

i am one who believes strongly in the spirit realm, paranormal activity, etc.

even with such a strong belief, i am often told by skeptics that such things are foolish and nonsense.

while i accept people have the right to feel however they want, i have often shared stories with people that are hard to explain with logic and find others have events like this too.

jamiebowers

Two events:

My dear Aunt Shirley died after being in a coma for four months. My dad had medical power of attorney and decided not to turn off the life support. He was very uncertain about that and what to do with her rented home and personal items before her death. My dad is not a spiritual man and is skeptical about everything. He and I drove to her home and stayed for a week to arrange the funeral and clear out her house. The first night we were there he woke up screaming and crying. By the time I got to his room, he was sitting on the side of the bed sobbing. He said that Shirley woke him up and told him that she was all right and that her material possessions meant nothing to her now. He was very frightened, because he said it was so real. Fast forward seven years: My stepson's mother and a friend pulled into our driveway at 2 a.m., after working the afternoon shift to get some items we had purchased at Sam's Club for her out of my van. She and the friend who was with her swore up and down they saw a ligthed face staring at them from the door window that faces the driveway. They both said she kind of looked like me. I gave my stepson's mom a photo album, and never having met her before, she picked out a photo of my Aunt Shirley.

For the first few months after we moved into our current home, my cat Buddy, who sleeps on my chest, would jerk awake, turn around and put his butt in my face and assume the attack position as if he was going to go after some kind of prey. It frightened me, because I thought maybe we had mice or something (I have a BIG PHOBIA OF RODENTS). My husband checked all around and found no evidence of mice. Finally I wondered if it was a ghost, and one night I said out loud, "If there's somebody here, please go away. You're waking the cat up and bothering my sleep!" (not much comes between me and sleep). It stopped and hasn't happened again in five years. Several people who have either lived with or visited us have heard footsteps upstairs when there is no one there. One person who was alone in the house and heard footsteps was so frightened that she called the police. A ceiling fan came on by itself. My brother in law was alone in our house looking at photos I have on the fireplace mantle, and he swears he heard someone say, "Get out!" I discovered that our home was a murder/suicide scene in 1926. A man killed his two children and his wife and them himself, and yes, I tracked down the newspaper articles and death certificates to prove it. Is my house haunted? Maybe. Do I care? Not one bit, because if they're here, they don't bother me.