Please be sure to inform your doctor about your new stance on the blood issue. It's important to have it in your medical record in the event of an accident. And do the same for your daughter.
Discuss with your husband how important it is to him to remain an elder. He should be running interference between you and the elders. And make a deal with him about your daughter...either he accepts her inactivity or you will simply refuse to meet with the elders, and then he'll lose his position.