Posts by Esmeralda

20

Hi Everyone! It's Antique!

by Lindy in

jw
friends

hi ya'all, it me, antique!.

wow!

i like this site much better than the new h2o!

Esmeralda

Hiya Antique :) Happy to see ya!

*hugs*
Essie

10

after being so close to getting a clue about the "truth",my oldest sister is way back in it, deeper than ever.. i love claire dearly, and i know that in her way, she loves me too.. i believe the problem in our relationship lies in that when it all comes down to it, at the end of the day, we don't really like each other very much anymore.

this knowledge saddens me more than i can explain.. it wasn't always this way.. we did fight a lot as children.

perhaps it's the eight year age difference.

Esmeralda

"Take the cult out of it, and I can imagine these two women working through the issues more successfully than they
stand to now ..."

Hi LDH and Dedalus :)

I have done a bit of reading on birth order, and it is true that Claire is a typical first born, and
I'm a total middle child. But Dedalus is right: We have always been able to work through the other
'family stuff' in the past: it's the religious issue that has become the mountain we can't climb.

It's not because I'm not willing to accept her. It comes down to, she believes her religion is right:
and that makes me wrong. No matter how moral a life I live: how good a person I am, how good
a wife and mother, how good my husband is to us. Our life, our whole existance is wrong to her,
because we're not doing things "Jehovah's way". I hope that her mind opens up a little,
because I just can't narrow mine back down.

Thanks for your input :)

*hugs*
Essie

The Four Agreements:
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best

5

Did you ever have to exclude a loved one from your

by Latte in

jw
friends

http://www.witnessesonline.com/ubb/forum1/html/000072.html.

did you ever have to exclude a loved one from your wedding?.

it truly made me sad, when i read the posts on this particular thread.

Esmeralda

That was sickening.

One of the worst days of my life was my cousin's wedding day, three months after I was df'd.

I was told not to even show up at the kingdom hall for the ceremony (I would have gone in after
the processional and left before the prayer) while my ex husband and his new fiancee (whom he
announced he was marrying just weeks after our divorce was final...literally right after my df'ing was
announced...when did they have time to date, hmmm?) sat in the front row with my family!

She had wanted me to stand up for her in her wedding from the time she was five years old. And
I wasn't even allowed to be there. I still cry thinking about it. I think that if any of the people who have done this ever leave the org. they are going to feel awful about upholding the shunning on an occaision like a wedding.

Heartbreaking. People waste time thinking that their relatives will be around forever. They won't. We
should appreciate the living while they are with us, even if we disagree religiously.

The cult has caused so much destruction. Dispicable.

Es

Edited by - Esmeralda on 22 March 2001 15:12:47

32

What would you have done without the WT?

by expatbrit in

jw
friends

imagine that you had never heard of the watchtower.

imagine that your life and that of your families had never been influenced by wt teachings.. i know for a fact that the wt's philosophy on further education contributed to my not achieving what i should have at school.

this is not to shirk the responsibility for my grades; ultimately they were my responsibility.

Esmeralda

I like what you said here MrAngry: "Everything I have acheived has been in spite of the WT"
I totally agree with that.

Interesting question, Brit...I immediately thought of the music scholarship that I didn't take when I was
18, because my mother said it "Wasn't a theocratic persuit" and that it would only lead me to a "worldly
career". I remember my father telling me that if I wanted to take the offer I'd have to move out. I don't think
it really had a lot to do with the religious issue though, because they let my sister go to Community college
to get a degree in Mass Communications, and they paid her tuition! So who knows why they prevented me.

I can't look back on my life and feel sorry though. If I'd taken the scholarship, I wouldn't have
married my first husband. Now, that would have been good you may say, but you know, I
wouldn't even change that part of my past. I actually have my ex to thank for the two greatest
blessings in my life: my daughter, and my second husband. Why would he have anything to do with my second husband? Because he's the one who introduced me to him in the chat room where we met *lol* That was
poetic justice.

Anyway, I think instead of things that I'd still like to do. I'd still like to work on my singing, but now am
dealing with the physical limitations of MS and not the bounderies put on my by the WT.

I think that many people have regrets in life for things they didn't do, or wish they could do differently.
Life is too short to get stuck in your regrets. Live your best life today, and be as happy as you can.

And they didn't really take music from me. I still sing :)

Essie

The Four Agreements:
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best

5

new website

by silentlambs in

we have the silentlambs website up and running at www.silentlambs.org.

it will have more to offer as it is developed.

soon to come pinpoint a pedophile......i will let you know how it works when we get it on the site.

Esmeralda

Well done, Silentlambs! I hope that everyone who has a website will link yours to it. I'm on the way to do so right now.

Keep up the good work...our hearts are with you.

*hug*
Esmeralda

12

Get a Life!

by Farkel in

jw
friends

imho, there is no ad hominem worse, no ad hominem more denigrating, and no ad hominem more evil than the expression "get a life!".

i've used it myself in the past.

it's a quick and down-and-dirty put down.

Esmeralda

Hello Great Master Farkel:

This is just my two cents worth (which, with the state of our economy is probably worth about a half a cent, and declining rapidly.)

To me, the phrase "Get a life" is an attack on a persons right to have feelings, and express them. That the person making the remark is so haughty and sure of their position, (usually with nothing to back up that position) that the only way they can make reinforce to themselves just how right they are is to say "that person is so pathetic they must never get out of the house, away from the computer, etc. Obviously if they had a life as important as mine is then they would be as intelligent and informed as I am." The remark is incredibly arrogant.

I don't know if that makes sense, it's past my bedtime ;) "Get a life" seems like a cheap shot: a way to make one person feel superior by accusing another of being inferior. That's pretty sad.

I, like you, know that there were times I've used that phrase in the past. But I'll tell you what, after reading and beginning to apply the Four Agreements in my life, I wouldn't use it now. I look forward to other's remarks.

*hugs*
Essie

20

H20 Thinks Biggest Is Best.

by Englishman in

jw
friends

when i first posted on this site, there were, i think, around 300 registered users.

now the number of registered users is about to reach 1000 in the very near future.

over on h20 the numbers have decreased, but the community owner, rick, appears to be mesmerised by the idea that it is still much bigger, and biggest is best, as this excerpt from a recent post shows:.

Esmeralda

Hi Waiting! Good to see you!

I'm glad to see that the infantile exchanges of "did not, did too!" kind of thing aren't going on here. It just got too hard to weed out the good posts under all that stuff over on the other board!

I'm hanging in there healthwise, taking it a day at a time, thanks for asking! Hope all is well with you and I look forward to seeing more of your posts here. Always enjoyed them in the past!

*hugs*
Essie

29

So Whats Driving You To Make Posts?

by Englishman in

jw
friends

why do you bother to post on this site?

what good does it do you?

what do you gain from posting?.

Esmeralda

Dear Grunt,

I was really cut to the heart reading this part of your post:

"It has been two years. The act goes on. It wounds afresh her mother who holds no grudges and just wants to know what is happening in the life of her child. My wife who would give anything and shed tears of joy if her daughter would just come and drink a cup or coffee or go shopping, or just really talk and show she still cares about her. My wife who is normal and loving, but who like so many others, has to deal with pain anytime she thinks of her daughter, every day, every night, because of this cult."

I am on the reverse end of that situation, I wish desperately for a mother who could be anything resembling 'normal' in the way that your wife is. Your post is another gut wrenching reminder of exactly why I sought out the online community to discuss the organization, even though it took a year and a half after my disfellowshipping to be ready for it.

Please give your wife a hug and tell her that it is from a motherless daughter, who wishes with all her heart that your daughter will come around and realize the treasure she has in a mother who wants a relationship with her. My mother won't even try. I hope that she doesn't waste too much time before she comes around.

That brings me to your question, Englishman. Why do I post here?

Believe me, I have wanted to walk away. So many times. From re-living on a daily basis the darker times of my life through the letters from and experiences of other people. To completely move on with my life. But as of yet, I just can't.

I was alone too long to ever want anyone else to go through that feeling of isolation. I wanted to reach out in some way, even if only a small one, to others who were going through the same grief over their families and this cult.

That's why I stick around, even if only in the background sometimes. I'm limited now in how much I can participate, but I just want to add my voice to try to comfort other survivors, and warn the unsuspecting about the reality of what it means to be involved with Jehovah's Witnesses.

Great thread, Englishman. I tip my hat to you once again.

*hugs*
Essie

The Four Agreements:
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best

9

Hi, I'm new around here...

by Gianluca in

jw
friends

i have been lurking aroung here for quite some time and in enjoy this forum!!.

maybe i might contribute a few post in the near future.. best regards.

gianluca

Esmeralda

Hi to Gianluca and ShaunaC and all...I think I had seen you both pop onto H2O before? I hadn't had a chance to say hello.

I'm new to this board too so I decided to take this chance to say hi :)

Esmeralda

18

That They Might be Kings

by Farkel in

jw
friends

dubs like to speculate.

about almost everything: how life will be in the new world ordertm, how and when armageddon is going to happen, whether the latest newspaper headline really signals that armageddon is about to start, what the latest new lighttm is going to be, and on and on.. so heres something to also speculate about.

suppose that jehovah paid a personal visit to the wts leaders and said, .

Esmeralda

Hey Dedalus,

Just wanted to say I know I owe you a reply to your post to me from H2O, hope to e mail you this week!

*hugs* to you and your gal :)

Essie