sibboleth

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Posts by sibboleth

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  64

  If I was to walk into your home . . .

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what one thing would i see that would tell me the most about you?.

  the center of my home is my computer and my books.

  standing at the door that is the first thing you will see.

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  sibboleth

  you would notice the pictures of my children - I am so proud of them... my son is a freshman in college - studying pre-med.
  
  My daughter is a freshman in high school and captain of her dance team... she is an A student, plays basketball, runs track and is VP of her class...
  
  despite years of JW control - I have 2 beautiful and normal children who are allowed to be themselves - and guess what - they are polite, honest, hard working and loving...
  
  after the pics, you would see my guitars - I love music...
  
  Regards,
  
  Sibb
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  32

  My Bethel Experince Part V

  by new boy in

  1. social
  2. current

  bindery...........5th floor building 3 bindery line 5.............. the machines conquer all.. standing in the same spot, doing the same motion thousands of times a day........you would get the 1000 yard stare (seen in the war movies)..........the first week, you would think about everyone you ever meet........the next week you would think about every movie you ever saw...........the next week, about every place you would like to travel to.............................the next week think about every mistake you made...............the next week, someone would walk up and ask you "what are you thinking about?".

  "nothing".......you would say........you were brain dead.. there is eternality!......................some hours felt like it.

  a good friend of mine, jim pipkorn (also from the lanudry) who was also shafted to the "end sheet gluer" in the bindery, got so depressed that for months, he would come back to his room make himself some dinner and go to bed, at about 7:00 p.m...................i asked him why he was doing that, he said "it makes the days go by quicker" .

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  sibboleth

  I thoroughly enjoy your experiences! I can't wait for the next one!!
  
  thank you!!!
  
  Sibb
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  24

  I feel bad about being a part of this...

  by sibboleth in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  several years ago, approx 1995, i was a newbie elder - age 29 and was just doing the "yes man" duties around the hall.

  there was the overbearing po who was the "king" of the congo and whatever he said was gospel... if he didn't like you - you were history... needless to say - i kissed his butt and moved up the ladder quite easily.

  we had another newbie elder - in his late 40's - and he was a smart man.

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  sibboleth

  Several years ago, approx 1995, I was a newbie elder - age 29 and was just doing the "yes man" duties around the hall. There was the overbearing PO who was the "king" of the congo and whatever he said was gospel... if he didn't like you - you were history... needless to say - I kissed his butt and moved up the ladder quite easily.
  
  We had another newbie elder - in his late 40's - and he was a smart man. Didn't follow the leader. He moved into our hall from the east coast and obviously had different attitudes from us midwesterners. Anyway, King PO didnt like the fact that he drove to the meetings separate from his wife and 4 girls. His explanation was that they were always running late - due to hair, make up, clothes - typical stuff that girls go thru to get ready to go out into public - no biggee to me... so he would jump in his car and head to the hall so he could be there early to take care of his responsibilities.
  
  King PO brought this up at an elders meeting and said that it didnt look good for them to come separate. He said the congo was talking about it and it brought into question his marriage and his ability to be the head... I looked on in disbelief, but didn't speak up.
  
  A couple months later, nothing changed. This great brother still came early by himself and the rest of the family followed. Now mind you - they were not late to the meeting. They just showed up 10 minutes or so before - while he was there 1/2 hour early...
  
  King PO brought it up again and made a big deal about things - suggested that the brother wasnt showing headship - thus didn't qualify as elder. Then he and my dad said that they had questioned themselves after recommending him to be elder due to the fact that one of his daughters - living outside the home now - had gotten into trouble a year or so previously and had to be reproved... now they coupled that with this "horrible" situation of coming to meetings separately as a sign that he no longer qualified as an elder.
  
  King PO went around the room and we all (we had 9 elders) agreed - me included... that he should resign. Which he did. I am so ashamed that I didn't stand up against this silliness.
  
  I now know that King PO felt threatened by this wonderful brother from the east - he didn't like his "liberal" mentality. This was substantiated a few years later when another brother - already an elder - from Philly moved into our congo and within 3 years - he resigned after being harassed constantly by King PO... sad, sad, sad...
  
  The first brother who resigned never once said anything - he swallowed his pride - always was at meetings, aux pioneered and was truly a humble servant - despite the shame that came with being deleted as an elder. A couple years ago, his youngest daughter - who had been DF'd and living an hour away - died from an allergic reaction. King PO said from the platform that nobody should go to the funeral, and not to send food to the post funeral dinner. Unbelievable!!!
  
  When you take situations like these and group them with the countless other experiences around the world - it is obvious to me that this organization is not God's chosen people.
  
  Later,
  
  Sibboleth
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  48

  What will it take for me to stop this?

  by sibboleth in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have lurked for over a year.

  i keep coming back here - everytime i do - it's like witnessing a car wreck.

  the things i don't want to read or believe are right here before my eyes - it's like a drug.

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  sibboleth

  Thank you for the welcome messages and good wishes. I plan on finding fulfilment in life - beyond the WT. I'm glad I have this site to help me on the journey - to stay centered and not let my past over shadow my future. Hopefully, as I get accustomed to sharing things on this forum, I can reciprocate in some small way to you all.
  
  Best wishes to all - have a great rest of your weekend. I will sign back on tomorrow... nite!!!!
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  48

  What will it take for me to stop this?

  by sibboleth in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have lurked for over a year.

  i keep coming back here - everytime i do - it's like witnessing a car wreck.

  the things i don't want to read or believe are right here before my eyes - it's like a drug.

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  sibboleth

  wOw... my Mother just called me - like a few seconds after posting my last comments!
  
  She and Dad wont associate with me anymore, but she just called to say she remembered 41 years ago what a cute baby I was... we spoke for about 3 minutes.
  
  She doesn't talk about anything in particular - and I am cautious to upset her by saying anything controversial... I just said I appreciated the call and that I love her...
  
  she asked me what I was doing this weekend and I told her I was watching the SuperBowl with my sister (who is DF'd) and she quickly ended the convo... oh well...
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  48

  What will it take for me to stop this?

  by sibboleth in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have lurked for over a year.

  i keep coming back here - everytime i do - it's like witnessing a car wreck.

  the things i don't want to read or believe are right here before my eyes - it's like a drug.

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  sibboleth

  btw... i am from Indiana, and I love basketball... my Hoosiers just lost to Iowa... one of the posts suggested I join the Y or play in a bball league - actually, I started a company league back in September - having a blast. I never would have done that as a JW. They always frowned on playing softball or volleyball or basketball with coworkers... bad association...
  
  What is nice now is that I am not afraid to discuss my upbringing as a JW with others now - before I would never talk about being a JW, now I say I used to be one and they sympathise with me and cant believe all the things I could not do.
  
  I didn't mention it, but today is my birthday - I turned 41 today - maybe that's why I'm posting - feeling like I need to vent about spending 40 of my 41 years as a JW - and now the rest of my life has just begun. I actually am going to celebrate my birthday tomorrow with my DF'd sister - in conjunction with watching the Colts beat the Bears in the SuperBowl...
  
  talk more later...
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  26

  Just got the weirdest "Clippy" message from Microsoft Word!

  by AlmostAtheist in

  1. social
  2. humour

  i was typing up a post and trying to sound sort of like a watchtower writer, intending to mock them.

  i guess microsoft must be in bed with the watchtower or something, 'cause this message popped up: .

  weird, eh?

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  sibboleth

  That is one reason why lurking here was so fun!!! Now I can add my LOL!!!!! maybe it's time to "CNTRL ALT DEL" too funny!
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  3

  Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

  by scout575 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  "do not be afraid - i am with you!

  i am your god - let nothing terrify you!

  i will make you strong and help you; i will protect you and help you.

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  sibboleth

  There was a post previously, not sure what thread, but the comment was that if you tallyed up how many were killed by Jehovah and then add up the ones killed by Satan you would see millions killed by Jehovah directly or per his directive and Satan only killed a few here and there... quite an eye opener to me that maybe Jehovah is really a psycho pathic murderer who is suffering from "only child syndrome" and becomes a bully if he doesn't get his way...
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  48

  What will it take for me to stop this?

  by sibboleth in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have lurked for over a year.

  i keep coming back here - everytime i do - it's like witnessing a car wreck.

  the things i don't want to read or believe are right here before my eyes - it's like a drug.

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  sibboleth

  Hello all again, slept some finally... was up until 4am just thinking about things... Bigmouth: yes, I purposely call myself "sibboleth" versus "shibboleth"... not sure if I was just being cute, but it seems appropriate somewhat... I am trying to move forward, just difficult to erase the hurt of knowing that I was born into this situation and didn't realize until a year ago that the world would not stop turning if I did what I wanted versus what everyone else wanted... and that what I wanted was not evil - I want to be happy, to live in peace with my fellow man, to enjoy life and all it brings. To think for myself and make decisions based on what I know and research versus what an organization tells me...
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  48

  What will it take for me to stop this?

  by sibboleth in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have lurked for over a year.

  i keep coming back here - everytime i do - it's like witnessing a car wreck.

  the things i don't want to read or believe are right here before my eyes - it's like a drug.

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  3. 
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  sibboleth

  I have lurked for over a year. I keep coming back here - everytime I do - it's like witnessing a car wreck. The things I don't want to read or believe are right here before my eyes - it's like a drug. I know I was in a cult. I realize that my life was controlled by this religion and that I missed so much of my life... now I'm 41 and have started a new life - but I still keep coming back to read about all the crap that I experienced first hand. I was a company man for so many years... I am ashamed that I sat in judicial meetings and "judged" others. I was no better than them. I was a hypocrite. Now I am "free" - yet I keep thinking about all the "what ifs..." If only I knew about this site - I could have coped. I could have just rolled with things - goofed off in service, played the game and then now my parents, my siblings, my "friends" would still talk to me... the internet is so "off limits" to JWs - they have no clue that hundreds, thousands of people just like them are out here - been there - done that... I have the utmost respect for many of the regular posters here. You don't know me, but I read your words and appreciate them... So the question begs: What will it take for me to stop this? I mean, I am so obsessed with finding fault with the society. Blaming it for everything. Why I never played sports, why I never dated, never went to prom, never celebrated holidays, why I didn't go to college... it seems easy to blame "IT" for why I am in a middle mgt job, no degree, no identity... I was deprived of my youth, the time you are supposed to find out who you are, experience things - learn... instead I went door to door, worked on quick builds and gave public talks... I sometimes wish I could walk into the KH and scream to everyone there that they are being fooled... maybe punch a couple of the self righteous elders and their snobby wives in the faces and tell them they are not superior to the others... I hate what this religion did to my family, to me and to countless others. What will it take for me to stop this? what will it take for me to get on with my life and be happy? I have a right to be happy, don't I? My memories of childhood are blank. My childhood was meetings, service, conventions... If you want to see a picture of me at age 12 - check out the 1978 Watchtower - I think it was the Nov 15th issue - you may have to search, but it was an article on the Victorious Faith conventions - you will see a picture of my family going out in service... I'm the dorky white boy on the far right looking left - wearing a 3 piece suit... we were at the Silverdome in Pontiac,MI and were going out in service with the yellow plastic bags... We were the perfect JW family - Dad was elder, mom was supportive wife... out of 4 kids - only 1 is still in the religion - 3 of us are "shunned"... me included - even tho I'm not DF'd or DA'd... just walked away... I'm just rambling... sorry. Have so much disgust for what has happened. Just reaching out to find some clarity.