short answer:
I consider myself a spiritual person now...but not a religious person.....probably more aware of things than I ever was as a dub. I believe something put us here, but I dont believe that something requires anything as uniquely human and as petty as "worship." I try to minimize my impact on the planet and respect what was created for us to use. But organized religion, or even prayer? no thanks.
longer answer:
I never quite beat to the JW drum the way they wanted me too. Even as a child, they couldnt scare me with their "Big A" threats looming around the corner, or entice me with the fairy tale of Paradise... I believed it, dont get me wrong......but felt somewhere deep down that "Jehovah" was the one that decided who got to stay and who got to go...not a bunch of elders or old geezer GBers....;......maybe that way of thinking insulated me from some of the cult control. I went along with it because I knew nothing else. I was raised in the WTS from age 4 or 5 until I walked away at age 40+. The hardest part was confirming in my mind that I would never see my deceased father again, because resurrection and paradise were truly stories not truth.
I was a regular pioneer, elder, MTS graduate. I had additional responsibilities outside of the congregation..some that I held for a long time...(even when I was deleted as a MS or was waiting to be reappointed as an elder.....I was still doing those responsibilities, but under the guise of someone else being the overseer for that time so that procedure was followed.) Though never a regular at bethel (except for a couple of temp stints that opened my eyes to that "spritual paradise" "den of wolves,") because of my additional responsibilities, I was exposed on a regular basis to the Bethel Heavy Hitters that came through regularly...some I liked, others I despised.
So..on one hand, many of the rank and file in the congregations...,mostly away from my "home" congos......considered me "spiritually mature"..... on the other hand, those that I refused to kowtow to thought that I was a spiritual rebel.... who do you think was right?
I sincerely believe that most of the elderly loved and respected me..because I loved them without condition and took time to listen to them. (One called me out of the blue last night and we talked for an hour...I advised her not to rake fire to her bosom by telling anyone she had talked to me...she agreed.)
However, those males that were my age peers (and their fathers that were 20 years older, esp elders) felt threatened by me, even before I attended MTS. Thus the attacks on my character. Somehow they thought that my attending MTS threatened their positions.... how wrong they were...as long as they played golf with the CO (or as I found out last night, took the CO and his wife on a Hawaiian vacation), they had nothing to worry about...
Ironically, it was the 8 weeks of MTS that woke me up to the pack of lies. Especially the unit on Chronology. I had studied it extensively on my own prior to MTS.....often without WT publications (oh, the horror).... and what I learned in MTS did not match my secular research....something I have confirmed since walking away completely.
So..... I guess it depends on point of view?
long answer.....not surprising, eh?
Snakes ()
