Posts by saywhat29

26

The Fader (Me) at a Restaurant with the Cong. Dubs (long)

by OnTheWayOut in

jw
friends

so this fellow from the congregation my wife goes to (and i am inactive from for almost 6 months).

is moving to where the need is greater.

he's an ms, totally indoctrinated loyal jw.

saywhat29

I did learn a valuable skill. Just yesterday my husband and I were lost in a neighborhood. He was driving round and round, totally lost. I said to stop the car. I got out and went right up to a house and knocked on the door. I introduced myself and said I was lost and asked them to point me in the right direction. They did.

My husband was very impressed! I got back in the car and told him " See, its just like being a witness going door to door. The householder told me where to go!"

LOL! anewme, I can SO relate to you on this one! I remember having to figure out which one of the apartments in a building was my friends because she left a message for me to stop by. Both her cellphone and house phone were off at the moment so what do you think I did...

I also did it when I hit a parked car, I went and knocked on the guy's door and told him w/o any fear.... I tell people that story and they are flabergasted that I had the balls to knock on somebody's door after I hit their car- even more that I did high-tail it out of there.

So OnTheWayOut, I recall a few gatherings where we all had to gravitate aroun the marked folks and what not. Like you were allowed to enter the bubble for a little while, but if you stayed too long people would start looking and wondering what was going on.... So, it made you not talk as much 'cause you could feel the stares (whehter they were real or imagined) burning into you amd end the conversation with a "Well, it was nice seeing you-" as if you somehow aren't in the same house or lacation. it was quite sad, but folks slapped a smile on their faces and all was well again.

God its weird how this behavior can be seen as "normal" or okay because back then it didn't even phase me.

57

Advice Needed

by faundy in

jw
friends

i stopped going to meetings over a year ago as i'm a lesbian and have finally accepted it.

i was a witness for 22 years, since i was born.

now i missed my friends at the hall at first, but now i have some amazing new friends that love me no matter what.

saywhat29

My poor gay sister! It's gonna be okay- I agree with the others, don't put yourself through that. I remember when I was asked to have a talk with the Elders about my "gay tendacies/inclinations/...faggotiness?" and I was scared, like- "this is it-OH MY GOD!" Because you have it worked in your head what is going to happen- as if your whole world is gonna come crashing down.

But really, I think yo have more than most gays do- and hell so do I to some degree since I was never baptized and realized my feelings before I spent the next ten years denying them, destroying my loverly JW wife and kids in the process-

Your family is out, which is awesome and besides your hard-headed sister it seems as if they've dealt with or are trying to deal with it.

They know... and in my mind, being "gay" is one of those things that gets around since its soo juicy and scaaaaandolous that everybody eventually figures out in at least the three nearby halls after four or five months. Or even sooner. So if someone's seen you then chances are they ALL have seen you. You've probably been in someone's comment in the Watchtower and not even know it

You are here and that is awesome! I followed the advice of those on this board who had gone through a JC and recognize what I might have been faced with (pervy elders wanting to know my browser history!) and I did not go, nor did I contact the elder who wanted to give it to me. He was nice though- really nice guy. But I was not gonna put myself in that position and realized just because my family wanted to give him that power over us does not mean I had to as well- I didn't, in that area.

So I say don't go and when you feel comfortable, just DA yourself. I don't think anyone can tell you to do that but you and maybe you have some emotinal involvement/pain or fear you aren't ready to face. It sounds like if you were to do that then you woulnd't be able to communicate with a very close friend of yours and I def. understand why that would be a reason to just Fade. But realize that... well the relationship can only "grow" or get to a point whereas she to would be in trouble, and if she realizes that one day and doesn't go the way you want her to- out of the truth, then she may turn on you (in order to get Ms. Jehovah's approval again). So just be careful, and I'm sorry you are going through this and it isn't fair. After spending all that time struggling with your sexuality (22 years! I'm not EVEN 22!!!1one1) this is the last thing you need and you deserve to be happy with your girlfriend...

Building things.... and taking in about four or five cats or dogs. Don't lie, you know you are!

28

Describe How A Jehovah's Witness Thinks

by minimus in

jw
friends

what goes through a witnesses' brain??

when they see a loved one die---what goes thru their brain??.

when a non jw tells them about their fun filled weekend, what goes thru a witnesses' thoughts?.

saywhat29

Yeah, i agree with all of you- it's a blend of not thinking since everybody can see you and might report you if you ever have a "bad thought"- very BIG Brother. I mean have you ever seen a "questionable" movie and wondered if someone might have seen you- or were at a place and ran into a witness who would wonder about what you were doing there and felt the need to explain yourself? It's like this need to constantly look over your shoulder in case anybody sees you or reports you. And then- don't forget about Sky Daddy, Ms. Jehovah- I mean I would feel like the most disgusting thing ever when I was younger for doing the five-finger jive knowing that the Almighty was watching me and that one day someone would find out. It was insane- one time I thought that this book a brother had given me had a microscopic-camera in it and he could actually see what I was doing in my room... talk about paranoia.

As for when a Witness hears about your holiday/weekend/life they usually have to file it away in their brains as unholy or demonic and figure how sad your are for not knowing their God, and how you may be having fun now but they will be having fun for forevah!

75

Ask Jehovah anything you'd like...

by nvrgnbk in

jw
friends

bet you he doesn't answer.. (this wager does not include the ongoing conversation between jehovah and jcanon).

saywhat29

When I cried and prayed to you to make the gay go away how come it didn't?

When I prayed for an understanding family- yeah what happened to that?

Finally, what are the winning lotto number for the MegaMilions?

I feel like you can at last help me out in that department...

And, if you can get me tickets to Madonna's 50th birthday concert- that'd be awesome!

73

Whats the funniest thing you've ever seen happen in the KH?

by shell69 in

i remember being a kid and we didnt have the fancy fabric seats, they were plastic stackable chairs all set out in the usual lines.. an elderly bro, rather rotund, farted, the noise so loud and thundering against the plastic seat!

or the time when i must have been about 7, my dad brought his bible study family to their first ever meeting, i had to sit on mums knee.

i recall giving the daughter of the new family a very vigorous v sign during the meeting.

saywhat29

My brother farted very loudly at a book study once and turned to his friend that was sitting next to him and said "yuk how can you do that here". The poor guy went bright red and everyone thought it was him! My brother got away with it.

Mrs. Smith, your brother is awesome.

Halloween! Some Spoilers, but not that many!

by saywhat29 in

omg!

tell me somebody else here has seen this movie- i think it was a great remake of a classic- i really enjoyed it and i'm not even a horror fan.. however, i have to say that the halloween series was "the movie i had no business atching growing up" but i just felt for jamie lee curtis and when i was younger i found myself unaware of what i was watching and was scared to death but not by much, so i kept watching.

it was a marathon, so i had watched a few of the later movies as well.

saywhat29

OMG! Tell me somebody else here has seen this movie- I think it was a great remake of a classic- I really enjoyed it and I'm not even a Horror fan.

However, I have to say that the Halloween series was "the movie I had no business atching growing up" but I just felt for Jamie Lee Curtis and when I was younger I found myself unaware of what I was watching and was scared to death but not by much, so I kept watching. It was a marathon, so I had watched a few of the later movies as well. So when I saw that Rob Zombie had decided to make another version of this movie I had to see it now that my beliefs are different now- never before would I have seen such a movie in a theater! Especially withso many dubs around my area. But okay on with the comments!

But was it me or did this version of Mike Myers move a little faster than before? Not too fast, 'cause then it wouldn't have been the same Mike we al love, but he had a little pep in his step. And another thing- was his dad a gorilla or something because that was a big dude with some serious gorilla strength! Like... really, I guess when you don't talk and your brain shuts down the universe which tries to store some sense of balnce makes other things stronger. And I guess the universe or whatever decied t give a growing psychopath who mentaly shut down some steroids while he was locked away.

Plus... I kinda felt for him- I mean if your mom was a stripper and all the kids knew at school, your mom's boyfriend was a douchebag, and your sister was a douchebag who invited boys over to have sex with when she was supposd to be taking your trick-or-treating... yeah, I think that is like a recipe for a massacre but maybe that's me. I mean.. seeing him sit there and watching the thought mull through his mind... I probably would have snapped as well. Don't judge me- you have to seethe movie first.

Although I have to say that I don't like to watch people crawling away from Mr. Myers 'cause it just seems cruel- but I guess that's the point. It's like you see their humanity, their sense of being trying to survive when you know their isn't a chance in hell for them.

So yeah, that was my take! Go see it!

14

Witnessing- A women threw Awake back at me due to homosexuals article!

by Witness 007 in

out witnessing a year ago i left the awake in a letterbox since no one was home and i hate missing people and wasting time.

{good witness boy!

} later a women who had been jogging chased me down and returned my magazine.

saywhat29

*struts into the thread and finger snaps*

What is this "acts gay" you speak of?

20

Did I just get lucky?

by noontide in

jw
friends

first off let me apologize for the long post, but i really needed to talk about this.

ive been coming to this site for over a year now.

though i dont post much, i really enjoy the banter here and also enjoy reading about the events in your lives.

saywhat29

You know what this has been an issue for me at times as well. At times I feel guilty because subconsciously I wondered if I was just trying to figure out what was wrong with this organization just so I could do "wrong" a.k.a be gay. Like, it was my intentions of finding out the truth about the" Troof" that made me feel guilty and WANT to believe it again so I could be a 'good person', that I didn't want to be an evil bitter apostate. That I wasn't trying to hurt God or those I loved, I was just trying to figure out why some things didn't feel right, why I couldn't always agree with everything that was said at the meetings or even in the Bible.

Personally I always questioned what was sinful and I've always kept my questions to myself. When i was younger and things didn't feel right I would question... and then brush it off because it was God's organization and I was not Jehovah, and the Organization knew a lot more than I did about things. So I accepted that I was wrong and bad and sinful.

But you know, how you come across said knowledge does not matter- I think its what you do with said knowledge. There ARE people that wanted to "sin" or whatever and I guess you would be included in that. Hell, so would I. Maybe because they feel that what they were doing wasn't really "sinful" or harmful. Maybe they felt that "sin" wasn't real. You, as a young guy dated a lot and had sex and that is 'sinful' outside of marriage. You came across information that proved that everything about the Witnesses aint honky-dory as they make you believe. You have guilt because you now know this inforation that you aren't suppose to know and you are a "fornicator" as well. I can FEEL your guilt and I'm a damn virgin.

What I will say is that you should not feel guilty for coming across the truth- if you feel the need to change to make your life fit better with 'God/Jehovahs' commandments/the bible then that is your choice. You can STILL do that outside of the JWs because JWs do no not have the market cornered on christianity as you were taught to believe. And there are churches- many of them that have members who are Christian, who aren't so strict and have an understanding for people with healthy sex drives. But again that is up to you. But you should not feel ashamed for coming across the information you have because in the end, who isn't a "sinner" in the bible definition or the word? And sometimes I think to our conditionig we automatically think that learning abut the other side is a betrayal and just selfishness when knocking on doors early in the morning, being persecuted for doctrines you don't understand, and going to meetings three times a week just so you can live forever and not die so the God in the sky doesn't hate you, doesn't have a selfish aspect to it as well.

All a matter of perspective.

51

Jesus is bisexual according to the watchtower!

by 5go in

it just hit me 144,000 are married to the jesus christ yet it is made of men and women all kings.

so really he is technically gay.. .

so then why are the witnesses for not for gay marriage?.

saywhat29

Steve2 you are so bad.

But yeah every time I see Jesus pictured in the WT, I always say that he is getting hotter and hotter. Like maybe he's working out, seriously look at him in the past and now. total fox.

I'd hit it.

10

She Said It Again...

by saywhat29 in

she said that if i went out in that world and lived "like that" then she would never see me again.

instead, mine are of what is fantasy and what is reality.

reality is becoming more... "real".

saywhat29

Thanks everybody,

I know my situation is nowhere unique or that different from many gay people and that there are a lot of others who go through the same thing in different groups, but hey, most don't even know or get JWs or the ideology. But you guys do! So.. you must suffer with gay drizama!

Nah seriously, I think the rejection thing is really hard and is such a common thing for folks in our community. But just reading the post here and having folks to support me has been really helpful. And I just wanted to say thanks to folks, to this board.