Posts by saywhat29

58

"I'm Perfect, You're Doomed" discussion...

by Tuesday in

jw
friends

has anyone read this book?.

i figured i had to comment because everyone was telling me oh tim, youre going to love this book.

she went to the same assemblies as you, she was raised in a similar household, she did poetry slams as well.

saywhat29

Tuesday, she never accused him of anything. She was hanging around 'Lisa' and 'Lisa' had made her believe something had happened because every male around Lisa always did something. The main character was a follower, a poser, and she wrote that clear as day. So then, being the total follower she was, she supposedly approached him while he was sitting eating like a cheeto and said "I know what you did." She never explained what it was he did and he never had an idea of what she meant in the story. However, if you remember in the story she did have that one incident with Betty's unbelieving husband after the circus...

Your main issue is that you hate things that exemplifiy stereotypes of those who leave and thats your big issue with the book but like I said way back when most of us do fit said stereotypes because said stereotypes are 'normal'. I'm gay. Some people 'fornicate'. some people just aren't religius and were weak in the faith because it didn't fit in their lives. I know you try to exemplify a good person as to not be 'stereotype' but like I said in the other thread, even if you dont, they make you fit so I wouldn't worry about it. Kyria's story wasn't just about being a JW. It was about a young, silly, immature girl in a high control religion with parents who fell out of love, a husband she married to escape them, and OCD that caused her all sorts of hell.

To me its not that we're trying to force you to like the book, but your reasons for disliking it seem hollow is all. I thought Transformers was stupid too...

117

How Can an Outed One Find a Study Buddy to Get Reinstated as a JW?

by Spike Tassel in

jw
friends

saywhat29

LOL. Dude, stop with the nonsense. You don't have to study... if the reason you weren't kicked out wasn't that serious, you go to the meetings (EVERY SINGLE ONE!!!...which is only two now so count your lucky stars, bub), you'll be reinstated within 6 months tops. You'd have had to bang a elder's daughter or something for it to last longer than that. People like to see people come back so I dont get why you aren't back in. How long have you been disfellowshipped, yet still going?

Like I say, 6 months tops. 8 months if they can't stand you...

7

Why some exJW's become Atheist...

by vilot in

jw
friends

very interesting article at free minds.... exiting jehovah's witnesses usually just get started with an examination of jw dogma.

from there, other churches are examined.

the bible itself is examined.

saywhat29

Meh, I always say that the JWs spent so much effot tearing down every other religion around me, going into detail as to why and how they were wrong, revealing thye Emperor's new clothes (foreign emperor's of course) to be nothing but nudity...

Once you see the GB in the full monty (figuratively....) then what else is there? To me its just a natural progression.

131

ATJeff Answers Letters from JW Readers

by AllTimeJeff in

jw
friends

i didn't want to hijack billy x's attempt at hijacking another thread directed to our apostate terrorist, reinna.

this is a parady that only ex jw's could possibly appreciate.

whether you appreciate my macabre sense of humor is entirely another matter.

saywhat29

Dear People who own my Dad,

I'm an 18 year old elder's daughter. My dad has served you more than he has my family and now is a alcoholic and my mother weighs about 400 lbs. from eating her emotions. Anyway, I'm hot and I know it and when out in field service I bring all the boys to the yard and they say my presentation is better than y'alls. Now that I have come of age my family has become worried that i may steer the wrong path due to my recent growth spurt in my bust. Soon, I will be marrying a brother my father grew up with who is twice my age! How blessed I am to marry a man that has been serving jehovah for so long and can guide me in becoming even more spiritual! He is a widower, and I am glad to bring light into his life. His first wife, who was fatter than me of course, died from falling down the stairs and running into doorknobs too many times that her brain gave in one night.

Anyway, I appreciated your recent Awake article, "Woman, Please Shut Hell Up! Jehovah Said So!" My fiance says his last wife was a talker and that I should mind that before we become one flesh. But how much is too much talking?

Thanks,

Sister Screwed

32

Dating in the Real World...

by darkl1ght3r in

...or, love stinks.

i am so unprepared for this.

i feel like a kid just walking into willy wonka's chocolate factory.

saywhat29

You know I think we all do this but we have this tendency to somehow think that the JW past has left us somehow deformed and effed up more than most when compared to others without remebering that most people are deforemed and effed up in lots of others ways to and they had the 'normal' upbringing we all claim that we wish we had instead of the ones we were given.

For example, you say how you are 29 years old and don't know how to date. I'm 22 and I still don't know how to 'date' (in the traditional 'go out to a movies, talk, court' kinda stuff. I just call that hanging out). A co-worker of mine is going through a divorce from a man she has been with since she was in her teens is turning 40. She doesn't know how to date either and yesterday all I heard was "What do i do..I don't do this a lot, oh my god I feel so stupid I don't know how people do this and what to do next...do i ..do I call him or is it too soon!!!?!?!"

She was so adorable.

If you just say 'Look, where I'm from I didn't get a lot of experience in the dating department. We just weren't raised like most people were when it came to seeing people when growing up a JW." Most people will get an idea (maybe not totally grasp it but they will get that you aren't wise to the obvioin Dating 101) . People write into columnists each and every week wondering what to do on dates so this knowledge you feel a lot of people have isn't really true. Most people are stumbling bumbling fools at first and its rare for someone to just naturally have it, you know.

I damn sure dont. i talk about really geeky stuff and ramble like hell and become overly sexual to save myself after I feel like Ive said something stupid. Because at least he'll like me in the en, you know?

People hire matchmakers to teach them how to date, read tons of books to get a grasp of the opposite-sex, same-sex and how to deal with them in all sorts of situations. They go to family members and ask them all sorts of info in exactly 'What the f*** is wrong with him/her and what do I do?!"

So I personally don't think you/I/we are *that* effed up from the Watchtower as you think you are. Inept at things others learned early in life, yes, but all those lessons you think you missed out on could be the things people would pay someone to miss out on (getting dumped over and over again, having friends involved in your relationship, dating an friend of a friend, messing with a friend's ex, who gave you crabs... I tell ya my 'wordly' friends had some good times)

So I say cheer up and don't worry. I won't tell you 'she's out there' because I don't kow if 'he's out there' for me and why give you false hope I can't give myself? But what I will say is that each and every date you learn something new and its better to be interesting than another guy some girl has to go out on a date with who'll impress her with the normal bs of what he drives/does/bench presses or who he knows.

You can say ,"I was in a cult for a couple of years, haven't spoken to my family in a while, and throughout it all am happier than ever- can you pass the pepper?"

And then she'll go, "REALLY? OMG I never met anyone whose been in a cult before- tell me all about that..." Make it more funny rather than a sob story and you'll look cooler. If it appears like you are still going through the painful emotional stuff of it all (and really when Aren't we going through the bs of it all with family still in it?) then she'll see you as a problem to add to your life (although some women LOVE taking care of broken guys so exeptions to every rule).

Be honest and turn your so called hinderance into an interesting fact about yourself. Own it and werk betchcakes.

And there you go. And the bad dates you go on, take them as someone saving you the time of being in a 6-month boring going nowhere relationship... and just try to get some. No reason you both cant make a good thing out of no thing, you know?

24

My Copy of 'I'm Perfect, You're Doomed' Arrived Today...

by brinjen in

jw
friends

late this afternoon and i'm about a third of the way through it already.

can't put it down... loving it so far.

from talks about demonic influence (and ice cream) to birthday parties with no be-heading to watching her first movie that had the word f*ck in it.... it's kinda eerie too... from what i can gather the author is around the same age as me (mid thirties) and we both left around the same (1997).

saywhat29

They'll say it's a waste of time doing charity work but inside will admire me for it. Regardless of how JWs say what a waste charity work is they will never condemn someone for doing it, they never say the Shriner's are wasting their time. If they don't know that professional wrestling is fake then I doubt very highly they have the intelligence to go outdoors without supervision. Every person from my congregation that has left after me has told me that most of the congregation understood why I left as there was a big scandal in the congregation at the time of my departure. Some have actually told me that the way I left being dignified, simply going to college and landing good paying jobs really effected them. Regardless of whether your child is a witness or not parents brag about their children and what they do, they got to hear all about my trips to Alaska and Mexico, the charity work I do, etc. Falling into that stereotypical trap wouldn't just hurt me, but since every other child in the congregation that left before me fell into that trap, if I did too it would've hurt every child in that congregation after me. I may not care to see the congregation again ever in the history of my life, but I spent my first two decades there, I cared enough about them not to destroy everyone's hope of leading a normal life outside the organization.

Hmm. This is always interesting since all of our experience in the faith are similiar but how soon we forget how vastly different they can be depending on the congregation we grew up in. I hear stories from people on this board and think how awful and crazy they are and then later stop and think if it were even possible for that to even happen at my congregation with the guys I know there and half the time, it doesn't equal the exact same experience.

Sorry, just rambling. I see your situation as relating to a particular group and growing up with that particular congregation and I see why you feel the way you feel. because in mine there isn't a 'Well you turned out pretty good for yourself' and that is what colors my experience. Most of the people I know who leave don't leave and move on, but fall away, do horrible stuff yet still believe its the truth hands down and are just as quick, if not quicker, to turn away from you for questioning the faith.

Question whether Brother/Sister So-and-So is the biggest douche ont he planet, sure... question how Brother AreyouSerious?! became an elder, sure, but question whether its Da Troof? No. So, I get what where you're coming from if you are having those experience but understand from those of us who don't and get what the author is getting at; those who do those sinful horrible things because those sinful horrible things are part of the human condition.

24

My Copy of 'I'm Perfect, You're Doomed' Arrived Today...

by brinjen in

jw
friends

late this afternoon and i'm about a third of the way through it already.

can't put it down... loving it so far.

from talks about demonic influence (and ice cream) to birthday parties with no be-heading to watching her first movie that had the word f*ck in it.... it's kinda eerie too... from what i can gather the author is around the same age as me (mid thirties) and we both left around the same (1997).

saywhat29

Did you see Chuck joined the army, now he's going to kill people and worship his country, see what leaving Jehovah gets you?" and the kid respond with "Well didn't Tim leave Jehovah and he now has a house, a family, a good job, nice cars, he's wrestled around North America, met famous Wrestlers and actors, does charity work frequently, and is genuinely happy."

I think you have well intentions and as a Christian yourself I see why you want not to be seen as just some person who rejected faith and turned his back entirely. However, I still believe you are just kinda of unrealistic about how Witnesses view those who left. You could cure cancer and be the bestest Christian ever but when you leave the fold, you are like that lukewarm water being spat out in their eyes.

They will tell themselves you aren't happy. "its just how he looks... he's not really happy inside. I can see it."

They will tell themselves you are wasting time doing charity work when you should be out preaching since Jehovah is going to fix all of those things, like that sad analogy of the guy cutting his neighbor's grass while his his is on fire, your pritoies are not straight, they'll wonder if you actually aren't straight, and they will wonder why you are involved in such violent activities and tell each other that your heart grew cold to the true god because of such things being inside of you. They will tell each other that you are weak and show them that even if you are a god person, even if you do good things, you are still not right in th eyes of Jehovah because if you were you wouldn't have left!

I think you somehow want to make peace with a religious system that really does not want to make peace with you. It wants you and if you don't want it it will damn you or demonize you. How you feel about Kyria's story and how it makes us look to these people will not matter because the story they have of you was made even before Kyra even left the Witnesses.

20

Confession from my JW wife

by freeman in

jw
friends

she has been buying my unemployed son his cigarettes.

how nice to know where my money goes.

1) turn her ass in to the elders, while blowing smoke in their face from a nice cuban cigar.

saywhat29

No. 5! If that preserves your marriage then I say go for it! *tosses the vaseline your way*

But on the real note, I say go for 6. Because its less drama, and in the end its not like she's buying them to smoke herself and thats probably how she's reasons as well so you would only come across as someone who was trying to harm/accuse her. If you come to her with a "How do you feel doing x while the witnesses believe y?" instead of a "You know x is against the witness belief system! Well well well look at you!" then you may be able to go somewhere with this.

I don't know your story and maybe you have rightful anger against your wife but I say leave this one alone because its not really that big of a deal...well besides the cancer your son may be huffing and puffing on in his spare time. But I digress...

24

My Copy of 'I'm Perfect, You're Doomed' Arrived Today...

by brinjen in

jw
friends

late this afternoon and i'm about a third of the way through it already.

can't put it down... loving it so far.

from talks about demonic influence (and ice cream) to birthday parties with no be-heading to watching her first movie that had the word f*ck in it.... it's kinda eerie too... from what i can gather the author is around the same age as me (mid thirties) and we both left around the same (1997).

saywhat29

You're not mentioning the part where she confronts her father saying "you KNOW what you did". That is what I'm talking about, she knew she was full of it, yet she still accused her father of something the poor guy didn't do. He was a bit of a loser sure, he was certainly physically abusive, had a temper and most certainly wasn't a good father, he however was not a child molester. What do JWs say about the two witness rule and repressed memories? "They're often fake, and need to be corroborated by a second person", here's a literal example they can point to of a JW accusing an innocent person in print. So again, more harm than good.

I didn't mention it because it was the inner thoughts of a teenage girl wanting attention, unsure of herself and wanting to live out someone else's life in her head- and at that moment it was Lisa's. she didn't haul him into the elders or tell a teacher, or anything. she watched him while he was in his underwear eating a cheese curl and went up to him and said, "I know what you did" he blinked, she bliked, and it was over. She really didn't accuse him of anything as he didn't even know what he was being accused of. Hell, not even Lisa knew since she didn't tell her anything of the sort.

Again, she's telling this from the standpoint of a teenager so I think if a witness reads this and concludes thats why they have the 2nd witness rule, then they will read the rest of it and assume she never loved Jehovah, her family was weak in the faith, and thats why they all sufferred. Honestly, trying to play 'What will the wintesses' think is annoying because in their heads they win and you will lose as long as you are not one o them.

Doesn't it suck knowing you are this really great person, a person of faith for that matter, and they still will believe those things about you? Well as a person who gets accused as a sinner for loving a man when I know I'm fine, it *does* suck for some douchebag with a bible to somehow believe that they have some moral superiority over you and that you are trash because you don't follow your god.

You don't win or beat them by livgin a life that not even they could tarnish, but you live your life without a damn care in the world what they think. I'm not perfect- hell I posted two weeks ago how i was placed back under their thought system and felt like I never left even when I knew I had.

Rambling, sorry, but like I said with my first post, this book isnot about batin the Watchtower or about how some super awesome bible student feel and is now a rocking apostate. Its about a girl in a cult who had OCD with parents with faults and hell was fiulled with faults of her own. I haven't read the book you mentioned but I think Kyria's POV is important because it relates to a lot of people who weren't pious or holy or fully believed it; who had worldly family and friends that they were close to and loved and had to somehow find a balance between their beliefs and reality... who played horrible music and snuck and watched a 'bad' movie hear and there... who had crushes and lied a time ior two to go out with someone.

I relate a lot with the girl moreso than i could some person who fully bought it, was at Bethel for 1000 years, never questioned and never was tempted or felt guilty or different for their belief system.

24

My Copy of 'I'm Perfect, You're Doomed' Arrived Today...

by brinjen in

jw
friends

late this afternoon and i'm about a third of the way through it already.

can't put it down... loving it so far.

from talks about demonic influence (and ice cream) to birthday parties with no be-heading to watching her first movie that had the word f*ck in it.... it's kinda eerie too... from what i can gather the author is around the same age as me (mid thirties) and we both left around the same (1997).

saywhat29

There's a part in there where she talks about pretending that her father molested her; which I think ardent JWs might read and use as an excuse why the two witness rule is in place.

I don't think thats fair. She didn't say she was pretending to by molested by her father; she said that she was hanging around her friend lisa so much who, from growing up with sexual abuse, turned everything any guy did into abuse and had always looked at her father in a strange way to begin with, she started to wonder that maybe just maybe something happened. She didn't believe it herself but then--- "You never know.." is what Lisa would tell her. And even when she questioned if something happened in the book, it was clear in how she wrote it that even SHE knew she was full of sh*!. Maybe for a moment she wanted it to be true, for the attention. She was a young dumb kid after all.

Honestly, Tuesday I think the point should be not that she fulfills the stereotypes that the witness cast on those who leave the faith. Honestly, we all do and we can't escape their generalizations, nor should we even try.