New day
Sorry buddy , but you are a part of your wife`s problem , you were an Elder and she believed all that came out of your mouth,for God knows how long, being a dutiful wife and an obedient wife to her husband.
Such wives in situations like this give over their all to their husbands believing the W.T. propaganda that they were directed by Holy Spirit.
Naive ,gullible ,vulnerable ,women , were coerced to obey their husbands with the threat of disfellowshipping if they challenged their husbands in any way.They were made to feel guilty if they wern`t doing enough from the society`s standpoint. And they were made to feel guilty if they questioned the society`s explanation of anything,
New day I sincerely hope you and your wife come to a better place , I do.
Thanks for sharing your experience here , and get professional help for your wife.
Convince her that professional help is available and they are not demonised
smiddy