Posts by GoddessRachel

26

What's Your Opinion: Is Legal Marriage Important?

by GoddessRachel in

hey everyone,.

so i've been thinking about marriage a lot lately, with same-sex marriages being approved in some states, banned in others, and flip-flopped in still others (see: california).. i recently read an article in my local newspaper about how marriage is a personal and religious union that has no business being in any of our laws, and that the laws should instead be for a legal domestic relationship, to establish and recognize legal families, and that marriage should be altogether separate from that.

i really agreed with all that was said in the article.. i want to get married.

GoddessRachel

What wonderful responses, thank you, everyone!

VoidEater, you nailed it. I don't want a religious marriage. I do want the protection afforded me by my legal spouse. I intend to marry at City Hall or by a Justice of the Peace at the beach, someday, when I do get married.

Flipper, you bring up a point that has me quaking in my boots a bit (even though I'm actually in my bare feet), that makes me want to run to the court house with my man tomorrow (it's too late today, I think!): JW families making my medical decisions. YIKES. Not in my best interest.

Lillith, thank you for your thoughtful and well-thought answer. I do consider our relationship a marriage in the important sense of the word, in the commitment we have for one another. The only thing missing in the moment is the paperwork!

I am sure we will get married someday, and ultimately the reasons aren't that important, as long as it is important to us, we can do it. And yes, Flipper, I plan to treat him as my boyfriend - and I'm his girlfriend - until the end of time, or the end of one of us, whichever comes first. That's too important to let go!

I mostly thought this was an interesting discussion to present to the ex-JW community, to see if people felt similarly as me about it, and if you think your opinion is colored by your JW history.

Those questions sound like for an entirely different thread, but there you go. Anyone want to expand further on this? Thanks and I appreciate all comments on the topic of "marriage."

17

You know what I really miss?

by journey-on in

jw
friends

this sounds silly.

but what i miss about being a part of a close knit congregation is the showers.

i loved going to the bridal showers, baby showers, wedding showers.

GoddessRachel

Hi Journey-On,

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I miss that sense of community and family as well. I think it can be found in other groups, and they don't have to be religious groups. It does take time and effort, but I'm finally starting to find my community, I think. Mine is within the artist world (I'm narrowing it down, and haven't yet found my family, but I know they are out there!). We humans are social animals and we need this sense of community and belonging and involvedness. The Jehovah's Witnesses most definitely gave us this feeling!

Do you have a passion? Is there an organized group in your area that does this hobby or passion? You might find your community within this group.

Or how about at your job? Though sometimes people say to not get too close to your coworkers, my career life has been enriched by befriending my women coworkers. My closest friends are women from past jobs with whom I still keep in touch.

If you were simply just wanting to vent here and see who can relate, I surely can, and I know many others can too! I have a small handful of friends, and it has taken me years to feel like I even have that many. I had literally hundreds of them as a Jehovah's Witness. They really are effective at taking everything away from you, aren't they?

Take care,

GoddessRachel

37

Is it naive to believe that you will always be faithful to your partner?

by nicolaou in

i was told i was naive for saying that i'd never cheat - ever.

but i meant it honestly.

i guess my question is, can it happen to anyone?

GoddessRachel

I do not think it is naive to believe you will always be faithful to your spouse, but you have to back up that belief with consistant hard work.

GoddessRachel

26

What's Your Opinion: Is Legal Marriage Important?

by GoddessRachel in

hey everyone,.

so i've been thinking about marriage a lot lately, with same-sex marriages being approved in some states, banned in others, and flip-flopped in still others (see: california).. i recently read an article in my local newspaper about how marriage is a personal and religious union that has no business being in any of our laws, and that the laws should instead be for a legal domestic relationship, to establish and recognize legal families, and that marriage should be altogether separate from that.

i really agreed with all that was said in the article.. i want to get married.

GoddessRachel

Doh, I meant to stick this topic in the Dating & Relationships section. Beginner's stupidity, my apologies.

26

What's Your Opinion: Is Legal Marriage Important?

by GoddessRachel in

hey everyone,.

so i've been thinking about marriage a lot lately, with same-sex marriages being approved in some states, banned in others, and flip-flopped in still others (see: california).. i recently read an article in my local newspaper about how marriage is a personal and religious union that has no business being in any of our laws, and that the laws should instead be for a legal domestic relationship, to establish and recognize legal families, and that marriage should be altogether separate from that.

i really agreed with all that was said in the article.. i want to get married.

GoddessRachel

Thank you, AllTimeJeff, I appreciate your experience and definitely see the parallel to my wanting to be a wife.

I also really like the wording you chose for why you support same-sex marriage: "because all of us deserve to behave in a manner that our culture promotes."

Nicely put, Sir.

~Rachel

48

Notice this Contradiction on How Jehovah's Witnesses View Marriage

by flipper in

jw
friends

in the new book released at the witnesses assemblies this year , " keep yourselves in god's love " notice this bit of counsel given on possible separations in marriage .

it says on pg.

221 , " absolute endangerment of spiritual life.

GoddessRachel

Just came across this thread, and I do see a contradiction too. I have personally known women who had the crap beaten out of them on a weekly if not daily basis whose elders told them to be good loyal wives, and try not to piss their husbands off so much.

To me, this contradiction is yet another great example of how full of sh*t the WT organization is.

Thanks, Flipper!

GoddessRachel

26

What's Your Opinion: Is Legal Marriage Important?

by GoddessRachel in

hey everyone,.

so i've been thinking about marriage a lot lately, with same-sex marriages being approved in some states, banned in others, and flip-flopped in still others (see: california).. i recently read an article in my local newspaper about how marriage is a personal and religious union that has no business being in any of our laws, and that the laws should instead be for a legal domestic relationship, to establish and recognize legal families, and that marriage should be altogether separate from that.

i really agreed with all that was said in the article.. i want to get married.

GoddessRachel

Hey Everyone,

So I've been thinking about marriage a lot lately, with same-sex marriages being approved in some states, banned in others, and flip-flopped in still others (see: California).

I recently read an article in my local newspaper about how marriage is a personal and religious union that has no business being in any of our laws, and that the laws should instead be for a legal domestic relationship, to establish and recognize legal families, and that marriage should be altogether separate from that. I really agreed with all that was said in the article.

I want to get married. But why? Because my family taught me marriage is important. Because that's what society dictates. Because of other, complicated reasons I may not be fully aware of...

So, I started thinking about what the word "marriage" means, and why it's important. And for a person who is not religious, like me, I am not sure why "marriage" is important. I think commitment is important, I think creating a family is important, especially when children are involved. Is saying you are each other's spouses enough? Is it a cop-out by one or both partners to simply say "we are married to each other, we are committed, you are my husband, I am your wife," and then do the paperwork later when and if necessary to protect your union legally?

So I did a quick search on the site to see if there were any similar threads, and finding none, I pose the following questions to you:

WHY IS MARRIAGE IMPORTANT?

DO YOU THINK MARRIAGE IS IMPORTANT? IF SO, WHY?

IF NOT, WHY NOT?

As a Jehovah's Witness I got disfellowshipped for sexual immorality. The rebel in me gladly lives with my partner of two years without marrying him. At this point he is waiting for me to decide if I am ready for marriage or not. I feel I am still growing up, and look forward to being a real adult. Though I'm getting closer to 30 all the time, being a JW until I was almost 25 didn't help me to grow up in a regular fashion. So now I am catching up, and doing alright, I think.

But I do want to be a wife, though I can't logically tell you why exactly. So, what do you think? Is marriage important to you, and why is it important?

Thanks,

GoddessRachel

58

"I'm Perfect, You're Doomed" discussion...

by Tuesday in

jw
friends

has anyone read this book?.

i figured i had to comment because everyone was telling me oh tim, youre going to love this book.

she went to the same assemblies as you, she was raised in a similar household, she did poetry slams as well.

GoddessRachel

I haven't read it yet, but I appreciate your honest remarks, Tuesday!

I personally take book reviews with a grain of salt, especially if the topic and tone is of interest to me, simply because it takes all kinds to make the world go 'round, as they say, so just because somebody doesn't like something doesn't mean everyone won't.

And everyone is also entitled to their opinions! So, I appreciate the review.

~GoddessRachel

(P.S. My first post on the "new" site - how exciting!)

20

Ah, The Note Book. What a movie.

by LouBelle in

jw
friends

you know if someone said to me that they just had to be near me... it is a brilliant love story.

i'm not really into huge romance stories but now and again, i wouldn't mind it.

ah, only but a dream.

GoddessRachel

Ah, LouBelle, you shouldn't settle for anything less, My Dear. You should be with someone who you want to be near and who wants to be near you, and there it is.

What I liked about The Notebook is it was the same old story of "star-crossed lovers," and parents who think they know best, but this time they actually do what is best for them and live a long wonderful life together. Beautiful.

Rachel

20

A practical lesson on shunning.

by strawberry cake in

today i decided to visit a friend of mine who i met when she was my study.

(she has no intentions of making a commitment, but still continues studying with old pioneer 'friends' of mine.

well it just so happens that these 2 sisters were there.

GoddessRachel

Strawberry Cake said: "My God! this Org is EVIL! Rachel, NEVER, give up, fight to get your parents back!"

I won't, SC, thank you for this comment!

Rachel

P.S. What you said too about them looking possessed, they are. In the form of brainwashing, just like you also mentioned. It's really sad for them, but happy for us that we now recognize it!