the past three weeks having been so stressful and very sad.
my ex husband died after being in hospital for just over a week in intensive care.. i was just 18 and he was 21 when we first met and after a whirlwind romance we married 6 months later and have two sons together who are now adults.
although our marriage ended after 25 years and i remarried 7 years ago, he was my first love and i knew him for most of my life.
Thank you, Maddie! I have added it to my folder called "Toxic People," where I am compiling information that will help me be strong when I'm hurting due to hateful practices done on the part of my so-called family.
Thank you for reaching out. I know your letter will plant some seeds in the hearts of some Jehovah's Witnesses. We are all here because we woke up from it. Your reaching out to help yet more escape is amazing.
Thank you,
Rachel
the past three weeks having been so stressful and very sad.
my ex husband died after being in hospital for just over a week in intensive care.. i was just 18 and he was 21 when we first met and after a whirlwind romance we married 6 months later and have two sons together who are now adults.
although our marriage ended after 25 years and i remarried 7 years ago, he was my first love and i knew him for most of my life.
WOW, Maddie, I am so sorry this happened to you, but THANK YOU for that letter. I am saving a copy if I may as the line of reasoning is so sound and really puts the JWs in an ugly light! The truth hurts.
Hang in there, you are wonderful!
Rachel
i had a bit of a chin-wag with a freind of mine the other day.
we were talking about the questions that "nobody knows" and as witnesses, you can never get an answer for.
she came up with one i never thought about before so i thought i would share it here.. .
lurk3r, please don't be a jackass to Blondie. She is beloved here!!!
Butting my head in, sorry 'bout that, sometimes though I cannot resist!
Rachel
i have only been on a couple of committee's for actual apostasy, and in one the brother never showed, and in the other, the person said they don't want to be a witness.
but in having experience as an elder and a c.o., and in reading this forum, here are my suggestions.. do not say:.
"i don't believe that the faithful and discreet slave is god's channel" - why not?
Narkissos, excellent post, thank you very much for that.
step 1: get dragged into jws by your parents when you are 5 years old.
step 2: get baptized in 1975 when you are 16 because armageddon is coming and you don't want to die.
step 3: continue being brainwashed and mind controlled for the next 30 years because you don't want to die at armageddon.
Hopscotch, you are exactly right.
There is a post I feel you MUST read, but I cannot get my browser to paste it here for some reason. I created a thread called "What are my choices? Give up my niece and nephew or put up with Toxic and Abusive People?"
You can find it by clicking on my name and then clicking on Topics Started and then scrolling to the bottom of the list. All the responses are important to read, but in particular, if you only read one response, READ SCULLY'S POST.
I have printed it off and read it over and over. I have read it aloud. I have read it to other people. It rings true more and more each time. I hope it helps you the same as it has helped me!
I would rather accept the painful truth and then live my life than waste my time yearning for people who neither love me or deserve my love. Some serious food for thought.
Best to you, Hopscotch!
Rachel
i thought i was done with the jw's.
i knew they made an announcement last year about me.
i assumed by the avoidance of so many, and my lack of enthusiasm for "the truth", as well as i have slammed the door on the elders many times now, exiled me.
Yeah, seriously, the more I think of this, it isn't an issue of religion, and for the sake of your children refuse to admit how you feel about the JW religion. You do not owe answers to anybody. You do not owe answers to anybody. People can ask you whatever they want. But you do not owe answers to anybody. (It took me a long time to really understand this very important concept!)
But like Rebel said, this is an issue of breaking the law and making you feel insecure, plain and simple. If they were not JW's and doing this, how would you handle it? If it were a crazy stalker person, how would you handle it to ensure your personal safety? Handle it the same way.
Rachel
i thought i was done with the jw's.
i knew they made an announcement last year about me.
i assumed by the avoidance of so many, and my lack of enthusiasm for "the truth", as well as i have slammed the door on the elders many times now, exiled me.
vikesgirl, I think they were asking you that question to try and prove you are an apostate so they can disfellowship you, probably. If you say you are not under the authority of the Christian Congregation, you are going against what they teach you, therefore you are an apostate.
It is a weird question, but probably that is so you are caught off guard without a planned response, like you may have to more obvious questions.
Now that I have read your last post, I will ask again, can you move away?
i thought i was done with the jw's.
i knew they made an announcement last year about me.
i assumed by the avoidance of so many, and my lack of enthusiasm for "the truth", as well as i have slammed the door on the elders many times now, exiled me.
Hi vikesgirl,
I am interested in the same questions jamiebowers asked you. If your ex has even partial custody of the kids your disassociating yourself will give you even less control over what your children are told about you - I would think. In the protection of the kids perhaps you should just ignore the elders.
If you have full custody of the kids is it possible to move away? Simply leaving and not looking back might be the best solution if it is possible.
My parents know things about me that could get me disfellowshipped if they were to push it. But the annoucement would be crushing to my mother. So I believe they will never out me. And I believe it hurts them less for me to have simply left, moved away, and be inactive than to be disfellowshipped or officially disassociate myself. Plus like JWFacts said I do not recognize their rules as having any authority over me, which means I have walked away from their religion and do not consider myself to be a part of it. I got baptized as a teenager and so it was not legally binding. I do not recognize it. I am simply done with it.
Good luck!
Rachel
Edited to say: I did not see your last post before I submitted mine. I will go back and read that now.
my username is goddessrachel.
because i believe we are all gods and goddesses.
after all aren't we made in god's image?.
Hey JWN, I cannot sit idly by and watch while people think less of themselves than is necessary to think. I know we have more goddesses on this board, and I will start naming them now off the top of my head. This is not a popularity thread, but it is an appreciation thread.
If you appreciate someone and know they have an inner goddess (or god!) say so here!
Here is my list off the top of my head:
Sparkplug
Persephone (I mean, obviously, lol, here username says it all)
Mouthy
Blondie
FlyingHighNow
Boddhisattva (hope I spelled that right, again, the name says it all as I believe Boddhi is a buddhist god or something like that)
Restrangled
St. Ann
boyzone
LouBelle
purplesofa
jamiebowers
Awake & Watching
Joannadandy
This list is not all inclusive. I am just getting started! Who do you know and appreciate on this board? Whose posts make your life better, or just make you smile? Who are the gods and goddesses you know? Announce them!
(I will eventually let it go but first I will hit SUBMIT yet one more time!)
~GoddessRachel
step 1: get dragged into jws by your parents when you are 5 years old.
step 2: get baptized in 1975 when you are 16 because armageddon is coming and you don't want to die.
step 3: continue being brainwashed and mind controlled for the next 30 years because you don't want to die at armageddon.
Hopscotch, I meant to respond to your point sooner, but got distracted with something that was going on in my household - nothing big, just something apparently distractable, which will happen - but your point about JW family being truly conditional in every capacity. The thing is they know it and do not think it a bad thing. To me, it is a bad thing.
Some may argue that all love is conditional, and that may be true, but the conditions are reasonable ones, such as that you honor, care for and respect one another, encourage and support one another. If you are a truly bad friend, you are not going to be considered a friend for very long.
The same should go for family, in my opinion. Just because you are "family" does not give you the right to abuse people. It is abuse to shun your family for making reasonable choices in their personal life. Yet more proof that it is not The True Religion, it is not even a true religion.
Never take the example of JW family as how you should treat and be treated by your true family, the loving family that you and everyone good deserves to have. Do not accept less than what you give to others (unless there are reasonable circumstances involved such as your husband or wife is ill and needs your help, and still I am sure they are still giving to you in the ways they are able). Your real family is out there. Real love is out there.
I know how badly it hurts to be rejected by the very people you thought always had your back. It is better to know what kind of people the JW cult has made them, and to move on and spend your time with loving people who love you for who you are. It is better for everyone.
Hope you are well, Hopscotch!
