I did enjoy meetings. Without sarcasm, I actually did enjoy having shallow conversations before and after the meetings. Sure, I knew none of them were true friends, but somehow, I still enjoyed seeing them every week or 3 months (at assemblies). This summer, I actually drove to Cornwall (Ontario, Canada) where we had our district conventions and reflected on how I actually miss some of these people.
As for the talks, I’d say that on average, I was in agreement with about 60 to 70 percent of their content and as such, did enjoy these things. Back then, I had fooled myself to believe that I constantly needed to be reminded to be a good person in order to actually be one.
However, towards my last active year, it became difficult and going to these meetings became a chore. I was increasingly sensitive to talks placing the Organization as equal to God. I started counting how many times they would say “Faithful slave” and “governing body”. How these man imposed an unscriptural authority over the conscience of others. How they lied about the world and other religions. How they happily exposed the sins of others, and hid their own. How they almost rejoiced at disasters occurring around and in the world, using such stories to offer a “false security” feeling to their members. How they frequently spoke in half-truths, etc.
As time went one, these things became unacceptable and appalling to me when my kids started to repeat these things, like absolute truths.
Finally, when I realized I was spending my meetings taking notes of everything I wanted to “explain” to my kids later, that is when I realized it was time to stop.