You need to do things to her that the witnesses wouldn't allow you to do. Like go down on her. I'm talking 20 minutes or more here
A hurdle I faced was convincing my wife NOT to feel guilty when I went down on her. She would actually feel like we were doing something wrong!! The years of WTS conditioning was 100% of the reason for this.
After 10 years of marriage now she is finally "into it". In fact now she loves it when I go "downtown". I actually find I have to force her to let me stay there longer as she gets fired up quickly and gets eager to "saddle up". ( I actually enjoy giving in this area - possibly more than receiving!)
I must agree with the post about cooking, whenever I cook I get the star treatment!