my daughter wanted a personalized plate on her car.
.so i was on the site.
.playing around with entering different things that she had thought of.
<<<
I would have glady given my life for these people
that is how much I loved them. My attitude toward
them has not changed.>>>
Of course not. . and as it should be. What a heart it shows you have. . .and. . . .what a handsome group you all were!! Hold onto good memories. . .why not??? They made you the person that you just stated in that post you are!!!
Dawn
my daughter wanted a personalized plate on her car.
.so i was on the site.
.playing around with entering different things that she had thought of.
<<< I have to agree with the majority. I wouldn't dare want to identify myself as an ex-JW. Heck, and that's coming from someone still active.>>> Dear RH, What I forgot to say in my last post (51 year old with failing short-term memory) was this. . .there shouldn't be any shame in all of this. I can tell that some of you feel ashamed by stating that you would NEVER admit you were a JW or maybe still are or are sitting on the proverbial fence about it. If you were raised in it, like I was, you didn't have a choice. When you're a child your world is your parents, they are supposed to be there to protect you and do the right things for you to get you to adulthood so you can make good decisions and go on with life. You didn't have a choice in the matter - you loved your parents as a child and didn't know anything else (until you got in school, of course, and realized how different you were). But in any case. . .that was what you were handed in life as a child. There's no shame in that. .. you didn't chose it . . it was choosen for you. My parents have told me, "we did what we thought was best for you". Okay. . .so be it. . .perhaps they did. They are still faithful witnesses, so I'm sure that's what they believe in their hearts. Are they wrong? I think so, but that's my decision to make now as an adult. If you got into it as an adult. . .the way I see it is you were searching for something. They tell some good stories that are appealing to someone who is "searching" for something in life. . .answers to things. . .they paint a pretty picture. Where's the shame in that? You were honestly searching for something and you thought "hey, maybe this is what I'm looking for". They can be very friendly and welcoming and compassionate to get you in the "fold". If that's the way it happened, then don't feel ashamed or feel like "I'm intelligent, I should have known better". There's no shame in making a wrong decision - hell we all do it at one point or another. That's how we learn. . and then we pick ourselves up and we say. . "boy, that was a dumb move I better correct my course. I felt ashamed too. . .but I don't anymore. No matter how you got into it. . .by birth, as a child, or as an adult. . .it made you who you are today. Everything we go thru. .whether suffering, pain, happiness, exploration, etc.. . .makes us who we are. I just look at the wonderful people who are on these email sites. .the help and encouragement you give to each other. . .the times you give the laughs out. . .the way you share your stories so freely and willingly with each other and always reach out to help. . .and I see people who should be okay with who they are because they are A.O.K. people. The other group "philia" saved me, opened me up and helped me be not ashamed of who I was. . .I hope this place does the same for all of you. Now. . off to work. . . Dawn
my daughter wanted a personalized plate on her car.
.so i was on the site.
.playing around with entering different things that she had thought of.
<<<However, the barrier of embarrassment is always present. Why?>>>
Dear Wanderer,
Thanks for your nice post. I just wanted to add a couple things. . .first of all, I think maybe I made it sound like it was easy. . .and I wish I had clarified that. It took me a long time. . .years. . . to come out with it and just be comfortable with it. In fact, it happened when I was on the other email site called philia. I found all those wonderful people who had been JW's too and were so out there about it - and I hadn't ever been that way. They made me see that I was okay. . .that I wasn't the only one who had lived this way. Until then, I had never come across an ex-JW during my whole life. They had a way of telling funny stories and I saw alot of them had good senses of humor. . .and it was right after that. . .that I admitted it to someone at work. It was the MOST FREEING FEELING. . .like a HUGE weight had been lifted off of me. I didn't have to "hide" anymore. . .I didn't have to make up fake stories about "past christmases". . ."previous birthdays". . .etc. I felt so free. . .and so good that I started telling everyone when the topic of religion came up. It used to come up alot in the dealership as there is alot down time in car sales and people get bored and sometimes get into some good discussions. Sometimes we were just plain old raunchy. . .but other times you could tell we were all intelligent people.
What I think you will find. ..at least it has been my experience EVERY time I've talked about it is this. . .people are very compassionate AND they just want to ask questions. They want to know "why" this and "why" that. . .they just are inquisitive about it. But mainly. . they are very compassionate. It amazed me the "oh, wow. . that must have been hard" lines I got almost every time. And then the questions started. I can honestly say that I haven't come across anyone who said or thought. . "what an as_ she was to be in that religion. Sometimes they wanted to know why. . .it brings up a good time to sort of "backwards witness" to them and tell them and explain what a cult it is. . .how they control by fear. . .etc. The other thing that happened is that they always wanted to make sure I wasn't going to go back to it. . .it showed me that they cared about me. . .
All in all. . .sometimes it can be very freeing. . .it can feel good to get it off your chest. . .and you actually find how compassionate and caring people really are. It can be amazing!! It takes time. . .I believe you will get there. . . .you all will. . ..in time! You're all good, fine people with great senses of humor, compassion and you've been hurt. Time will heal it. . .and you will one day feel comfortable with where you've been.
Dawn
my daughter wanted a personalized plate on her car.
.so i was on the site.
.playing around with entering different things that she had thought of.
<<<I don't build my image around being an ex-jw so I wouldn't really want a custom plate based on that.>>> No, I don't either. . and I probably wouldn't get a plate like that either. Was just playing around with it and thought it was funny. Actually I pictured my parents passing me on the road and being horrified and I sat at my desk and got a evil little grin of satisfaction on my face. Sometimes its fun to just see the humor in it all and imagine how it would pi__ off those JW's. Can you imagine one of them coming to your door and seeing the car in the driveway?? Would they come to the door anyways??? I wonder. . . . Anyways. . .it was just for fun. .
my daughter wanted a personalized plate on her car.
.so i was on the site.
.playing around with entering different things that she had thought of.
One more thought. . and I hope no one minds a new person on her speaking out. . .if you do. . .just say so and I'll "silence" myself for a while.
My thought is. . . .
If you can try to find something positive about your time in JW-dom, perhaps it will help. For instance, all the TMS talks I had to do, the going out door-to-door, the assembly parts on the stage, helped me become a sales person - and a very good one. I wasn't afraid to go up to people I didn't know and talk and try to sell them a car. I had done it all my life and it was far less scary than trying to talk religion with someone. I could talk to strangers really easily - and people wondered why I found it so easy - that way why. Another example. . .if you suffered abuse at their hands. . .perhaps in time. . .you can help someone else thru the trauma of abuse. If you missed out on college or following your dreams. . .maybe you can help your own children one day go to college and follow their dreams. If you were shunned/disfellowshipped or mistreated in that way, perhaps you can. . .in time. . .learn to be more compassionate with others. I'm not trying to sound like Pollyanna - but trying to find a silver lining in the black cloud we all knew as our lives - can sometimes be very productive and help us grow and heal.
Dawn
my daughter wanted a personalized plate on her car.
.so i was on the site.
.playing around with entering different things that she had thought of.
I like them JH. . .and I love the little critter you have as your pic!! Thanks for making me laugh!!
Actually, I don't mind saying I was a JW, personally. I didn't have a choice in the matter - my parents joined when I was 2, so that was that. Whenever the subject has come up, at work for example, people are usually just curious and ask alot of questions. It has brought up some good questions, that made all of us think about things and get into good discussions - and I've told some funny stories where I've had them peeing their pants laughing. Many have been SHOCKED when I've said I was a JW - they just look at me with their mouths hanging open because I tend to be the girl who's cracking the dirty jokes, and fitting in perfectly in the raunchiest of humor. They can't imagine me as a JW - so they ask questions and get answers. It's all part of being comfortable with who you are, where you've been. Experiences we've all had in life made us grow. . .learn. . .question. . . give us pain sometimes. . .and help us learn how to heal without hating the world for what we've been thru. It's life. . .I don't think anyone goes thru it without having some "bad" of some kind - ours was being in that organizaiton - but the real healing comes when you look outside of it. . .and try to find the path you DO want to be on.
A while back at work, one of the guys had had an affair on his wife of one year. Of course he was disfellowshipped and distraught. No one knew he was a JW - he hadn't told anyone and his conduct was not that of a JW at all. When he finally confessed to me (I was his manager and he came into my office and closed the door and wanted to talk about what was going on in his life. He told me of the affair and said that he was in a strict religion and had been kicked out. He said, "I'm a Jehovah's witness". First thing I said, after thinking for a moment was "No you're not"!!! That's how un-JW-like he was. Truly I would have never known. To make a long story short. . .I was able to help him once I found this out. . .I became his confidant because he knew that I had lived it - that I knew EXACTLY where he was coming from. If I had kept it hidden that I had been a JW - I would never have been able to help him. When others found out about it - they said to him first thing - "go talk to Dawn. . .she'll help you - she's been there". I feel good that I was able to help him thru what was a very traumatic time for him.
Just something to think about. . .you never know who you may be working with, living next door to. ..etc., who may be suffering the things that we've already suffered. Don't be ashamed of what you've been or where you've been in life - it just may help someone along the way in the future.
Just my two cents. . .
Dawn
my daughter wanted a personalized plate on her car.
.so i was on the site.
.playing around with entering different things that she had thought of.
My daughter wanted a personalized plate on her car. . .so I was on the site. . .playing around with entering different things that she had thought of. . . and I happened to put in the following and wondered if anyone out there has a plate on their car like one of these. . . .
EX JDUB
EX JW
JWNOMO
XDUB
Actually . . .they were all available here in Michigan. . . .
i'll start with a couple.....jws believe that everything in revelation is symbolic except the number 144,000.. jws believe that donating blood is wrong.
yet jws can accept "blood fractions" which can only be recieved if one donates blood!.
| Post 697 of 697 since 08-Dec-06 | demons in the clothes you buy at the thrift store, demons in books, demons in television programs, demons in people's houses, demons demons demons | |
This made me laugh right out loud. . . and the bite of salad I had in my mouth. . .flew all over!!!
i'll start with a couple.....jws believe that everything in revelation is symbolic except the number 144,000.. jws believe that donating blood is wrong.
yet jws can accept "blood fractions" which can only be recieved if one donates blood!.
Here's a good one for ya. .. . .how about the one in the 70's (believe it came out in 74 or 75) that oral sex was a disfellowshipping offense. There were tons of people who "confessed" to still doing the "dirty deed" and were disfellowshipped. Marriages broke up - tons of divorces where one spouse was a JW and the other wasn't. . .it was a mess. I believe this was all in Crisis of Conscience. Then a few years later (I was long since gone) they came out and said it was a "matter of conscience - that what two people did in the bedroom was their own business. GEEZ - who the hell sat around and thought up that one???????????? LOLOL
my ex came back from the convention and the subject came up of familiy, marriage etc...i asked, how they believe marriage family etc will stand in "paradise"...do they believe earthly marriages will still be valid and mates will still be together, or is that annuled!!
!..also, whether families now will once again be families then..he didnt seem to be sure.. just out of interest, could anybody shed some light on the witness beliefs on this?.
thanks.
<<<That is why so many are waiting to have children. Some childless JW couples look down on married couples having children now in the old system, at least they did back when I was a JW in the 90's.>>>
Is this still the case today? I remember in the 70's, people waiting because 75 was so close and they thought they only had to wait a couple years to begin their family in the new system. However, I heard later that many started families, after being married for 10 or 15 years. Perhaps the "biological clock" ticking was stronger than the threat of Armegeddon.
