my girlfriend that i brag to everyone about, and treat like a queen, is leaving me.
i actually got df'd over her, and have been with her for over 5 months.
we were so close, i just totally never, ever saw this coming.
I'm so sorry to hear your troubles Bluesbreaker.
It's easy to say, and not so easy to live through, but speaking from experience, the pain will pass with time. You'll meet someone better at some point in the future. I was 45 when I met the love of my life, hopefully you won't have to wait that long.
Hang in there! You have friends...
<!-- .style1 { font-family: arial; font-size: 18px; color: #cc0099; } .style2 { font-family: arial; font-size: 16px; color: #cc0099; } .style3 { font-family: verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; } .style4 {font-family: verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-style: italic; } --> do you carry anything of sentimental value from your witness days?
it is fair to say that many of us on this board rid ourselves of the watchtower societys.
propaganda publications.
I still have my dog eared and much marked NWT bible- about the only reminder of my teens I have left except for some old pictures of me with my horses.
I'm not sure why I keep the bible, except maybe to remind me what I'm free of.
<!-- .style1 { font-family: arial; font-size: 18px; } .style2 { font-family: arial; font-size: 16px; color: #000066; } .style3 { font-family: verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; } .style4 {color: #ff0000} .style5 {color: #000066} --> did being one of jehovahs witnesses kill your drive?
it is understandable how someone who has been a jehovahs witness .
for a number of years could become complacent and except their lot in life.
They didn't exactly kill my drive (I was actually more driven to see them proven wrong), but it sure put limits on my self-esteem and self-confidence.
I still have feelings of inadequacy and intense self-doubt- but not about my choice to leave.
just wondering if ex-jws find it hard to trust others since their bad experience or are they still gullble souls?
just wondering because some of the stories i read about past experiences are off the charts!
some of you, your childhoods, your parents are seriously jacked up!
Beroean-
We've already done our research- that's why we left...
I'm glad you've found peace within the society. We all wish you all the best.
I left in 1975 at 17 years old after being raised JW. I realized THEN, at that age, that the numbers just didn't add up. Also, there are a million god myths out there- who's to say the bible isn't just another? In fact, the bible is just a group of writings from different MEN, written at different times, and compiled as the true word of god by a bunch of power hungry good old boys in the middle ages. I have no faith in a book compiled and translated by MEN as the word of god. Besides that, there is scientific evidence that many events as described in the bible never happened. If I can't believe it all, I can't believe in any of it. As well as the fact that, as a woman, I had no future except as mother and housekeeper within the society.
And I must agree that you're taking a confrontational position on this topic.
because of the constraints on women in the watchtower society with regard to being in positions of visible authority (eldership and teaching, talks etc) i would say that most of us never got to see the potential input that the 'sisters' could have made to sharing knowledge and teaching.
sure some 'sisters' could give good no 3 and 4 talks but that was about it.. however since coming to this site i cannot help but have respect for the many women that post here.
their depth of intellect and knowledge is much appreciated.. (of course i am assuming that they are women from their avatars and names.).
If only the poor, brainwashed women within the WTBTS could see that they'll never be any more than 'servants' in the grand new order.
There's not much difference between WTBTS and the Taliban, except that JW women don't have to wear veils(at least not in THIS country), but they're just as abused, taken for granted and discounted.
i've noticed many of you that have your own ministry.
i'm curious as to what doctrines you teach.
is it "jesus is love.
1. What happens to a person when they die?
their body decomposes- their spirit?... who knows? I'd like to think that all we are
and all we have learned moves on to the Cosmic whole which takes and processes the
knowledge but we all have our own theories- when I come back in my next incarnation I'll let you know.
2. Who is God and what is his name?
god goes by many names depending on your personal faith base- mine are air, fire, water,
earth and spirit.
3. Why is there suffering in the world?
because people are notoriously greedy and power hungry, and as long as there are people
like that, there will be hunger, war, disease and suffering
4. How did we get here?
again, who knows? but science is gradually weeding out the fallacies and myths, and working
on providing us with facts.
5. According to the Bible, is it okay to participate in wars and politics?
personally, I don't think the bible is any different from any other book of mythology-
I do not believe in pushing my way on anyone, and especially not by force.
6. Is the Devil real? If so, where did he come from?
both god and the devil are only as real as your mind and heart will allow them to be. I
think they both live within each and every one of us in the form of the choice between
good and evil.
7. According to your religion, is it okay to smoke marijuana?
it's a personal choice, just like staying or leaving the WTBTS.
8. According to your religion, is it okay to have pre-marital sex?
how can you make an informed choice about if you really want to be with someone forever
if you don't experience daily life with them? Sex between life partners, or prospective
life partners is necessary. I wouldn't want to be forced to live my life with someone who
may turn out to be totally unsuited to me because some 'organization' tells me pre-marital sex is wrong.
9. According to your religion, how do God feel about homosexuals?
if god created us all, he also created homosexuals- why would he discriminate against them?
10. Does God talk to you personally?
well, something speaks to me, telling me to be the best, most loving, giving and
supportive person I can be. Probably not god though- probably my own good sense, and sense
of fair play.
I have no ministry, and actually have an above average distaste of religion in general (not so above average in this group). A recent MacLean's magazine article asked if God was poison- my response, God is not poison, religion is...
I have no problem with you being here Beroean, but your elders probably would. They'll see you as an 'apostate in training'. Exercise caution.
just a one-page article on an ex-jw support group in toronto.
macleans is canada's version of "time" with a large circulation.
it's also the magazine that did the large article on the septuplets.
I have sent a letter to the editors already, thanking them for an eye-opening story for a lot of people who keep silent as a result of upbringing and brainwashing.
I've been DF'd since 1975 and never knew these groups existed.
I may be a relatively well-adjusted adult ex JW, but sharing stories and supporting other free thinking people in our situation seems like a really good way to spend some time and assist with our own healing process.
occasionally at work they give us a required survey to fill out on the computer.
i was thinking that we need one of those here, in this format.. here is the first question.
answer if you like and add more questions in the same format;.
additional option to your quiz-
I'm DF'd- unless you're an elder, you're not allowed to talk to me. But don't bother sending an elder...
is the watchtower society secretly a little embarrassed by its shunning / disfellowshipping policy.. i haven't seen much in the way of instructions on how to deal with the 'lliving dead' in the watchtower and awake magazines in the last few years.
they tend to talk about df'd persons as 'choosing a course of life that leads to df ing rather than that harsh nitty gritty of how to treat or rather mistreat such people.. is this mistreatment only discussed in the kingdom ministry pamphlets now and deliberately kept hush hush?.
i should imagine the high mortatlity rate due to df ing leading to suicides could be very embarrassing for the organization..
I've been DF'd since 1975, and the society's stance on this has changed too many times in the past 30 years for me to keep up with.
Apparently when I was first DF'd, I was to be treated like a criminal and totally shunned. Then, about a decade later, my parents told me that policy had changed, and they were allowed to have 'limited' contact with me, and I was to be treated like somone suffering from a 'disease'.
I have no idea what policy is at present (and personally, don't care). I have 'limited' contact with my over 80 year old parents (how can you morally cut off one of only two remaining children, especially when she/he ISN'T a criminal or BAD person), and that's enough for me.
They may not be embarrassed by their silly and destructive rulings, but they do encourage ALL of us to remain silent on this issue so as to keep us separate, partly to encourage us to return to their loving(?) family, and to keep us separate from anywhere else we might feel we belong.
ok, other than my father, i don't miss anything about being a dub at all.
seriously, i love my life right now, its great, thinking for myself, doing what i want, etc., etc.. i've only been out 3 months, officially, and i find no "void" or anything.
i've got a bunch of great friends on the outside, that i had for years while being jw, and then i have my mother and all her family supporting me.
Too true.
I broke away at age 17, totally unprepared, and with no one to turn to for guidance. But even then, I didn't MISS it. I missed my family, and the fun things unassociated with meetings, etc that we used to do. But the society, the meetings, the field service... I don't, and have never, missed. I just feel so empowered that I had the strength and vision to GET OUT when I did.
