I was looked down on for still keeping in contact with my x husband, (never a witness, but never opposed and always treated JW with respect and hostpitality) though he commited adultry and fell in love with the other women, we still remained friends and after 20yrs he still cares enough to how I'm going, there was a lot of bitterness and I did lose a lot, but I know he never set out to hurt me and did all he could to help me.
The elders had me playing detective to prove the adultry and cost me all sorts money, one bethelite brother in the congo told me to hire a private dectective, not one sheperding call, just, you must do this, must not do that, I was sick through the whole thing, my mother had just died, so much more to this, wont' bore you, point is they can't understand how I could possibly have anything to do with this evil worldly man........my best friend who has never been a witness we kept in contact was the biggest help of all through my years of depression and lonliness, yet I am warned not to go out with her.They are such hypocrites, I'm glad I never listened to them and kept in contact with those that who they say are worldly people and therefore marked for execution at arma, there and other so called evil worldly people have been a support like I have only seen rarely in the troof.
When one has problems in the troof, you deserve it some how, either spiritual sick, or not doing enough in the ministry, or doing something wrong, therefore Jehovah is allowing the punishement.
There are some loving and caring witnesses, but as put on here in another thread, if I was to say one thing about the society that was not in agreement, they would ignore me, or go to an elder and say something. I would love to meet someone from my congregation that feels the same, but I don't trust anyone to try and find out.