Posts by caliber

39

Subjugation of Women

by Band on the Run in

this area bothered me even more than the ban on college.

i was born a feminist, popped out that way.

before the women's movement, i hated their attitude of hating women.

caliber

"I wonder if normal JWs hate women. "

I don't claim to have broad perspective , I have only been in small city KH's.... but I am hard pressed

to think of any man who hated all women, the closest thing might be a bitterness by some who

suffered repeated romantic rejection. ...Someone rejected as unworthy of the affections of anyone in the whole Hall !

Which case it would be hate in this sense.. from a post I found

"Hate can be the extreme love of anything.As in love,we want to be with the loved one,we want to think feel the love object.Our ego is merged in the wholeness of being with the person,or the object of love.We can say when self love is less (when we love our egos less,it is love--where we can love others--,where as extreme love of ourselves is hate.We hate to be not loved because we love ourselves to the extreme.We hate our beloved who ditches us,hurts us,because we love ourselves to the extreme that we cant stop negative destructive emotions for others entering in our minds,saying--i hate her/him"

39

Subjugation of Women

by Band on the Run in

this area bothered me even more than the ban on college.

i was born a feminist, popped out that way.

before the women's movement, i hated their attitude of hating women.

caliber

"There seems to be a paradox, as although women are subjugated, men are emasculated. I have heard non JWs mention how weakly JW men are. On the otherhand, my father was a CO and one common problem was wife beating. A number of elders were put down from their positions because of it."~~~~ JWFacts

"Social status comes in various forms. The traditional markers for men; the so called 'Alpha' traits are wealth, intelligence/education, physical prowess/attractiveness, confidence and ambition."

The JW social system stands this on its head by labeling most of those traits as 'worldly.' Social status in the JW organization revolves around a fuzzier set of criteria called 'Spiritual qualifications. ~~~~~TD

I think wife beating is a sign of lack of power. .... frustration, self-image issues.. what a real man is, for many of the above mentioned things

...A demand , a requirement for total control of you household including your teenage children (young adults ) from those seen appointed to be above you !

Is it fair that Men are collectively "guilty" of anything except being victims themselves of the system, just as women are ?

4

What People Talk About before they die - article on CNN

by Gayle in

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2012/01/28/my-faith-what-people-talk-about-before-they-die/?hpt=hp_c1.

this was off the cnn site today,,interesting,,.

caliber

I don't mean to be a thread stealer but I thought this tied in somehow... because

it may help us avoid regret by learning from others before it is too late !

Ms. Bronnie Ware, a woman who worked for years with the dying, wrote a list of the top 5 regrets people say aloud on their deathbed, we teared up a little bit here at TNW.http://thenextweb.com/lifehacks/2011/05/31/the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbeds/2/
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again.

The most important lesson seems to be love , love for our family and love for onesself to be the person we wanted to be and connect with others in a deeper truer sense

"When the love is imperfect, or a family is destructive, something else can be learned: forgiveness. The spiritual work of being human is learning how to love and how to forgive."

79

Can you be in Love with two persons? My Dilemma...

by Intel in

first, don't laugh.

i'm not some adolescent teen that is confused about his relationship.

what i am going to relate here has become a maior hard ship and is really gnawing at me.

caliber

Intel

As much as all your feelings are mixed I think your new love life is just too new. It is still in the honeymoon period !

The fact of the age difference will surface years down the road should give serious questions in your mind, in your care for

your gf. On the other hand your daughter will grow up towards you if you take a greater share in her life now.

Also it appears the greatest obstacle with your wife was religious issues... she appears to be moving towards you.

Consider also "your history " built with your wife... there are situations and understanding that would take years to replace or adapt to.

After a separation what a person needs are "growing relationships" not lovers... not being involved in a love relationship until you

have healed some of your emotional pain ."Always relationships which start when you are in deep pain will add to your misery"

From the book ...... "Rebuilding when your relationship ends" Dr.Bruce Fisher

You don't want to hurt people you say... I feel exactly the same way as you, but lets face it , at this point someone is going to be hurt !

Dr. Fishers says in his book after putting 6000 people through his divorce classes that it takes two to five years to clear your head

to find who you are and what you truly need in a new love relationship. "Fresh and new" may not be better just different in the excitement.

The following statistics were complied from the National Center for Health Statistics (2002)

Fifteen percent of second marriages ended after 3 years and almost a quarter after 5 years

228

I believe God

by N.drew in

someone said atheists are a minority.

i think that is incorrect.

salvation belongs to yhwh.

caliber

1. Does God exist? The complexity of our planet points to a deliberate Designer who not only created our universe, but sustains it today.
2. Does God exist? The universe had a start - what caused it
3. Does God exist? The universe operates by uniform laws of nature. Why does it?
4. Does God exist? The DNA code informs, programs a cell's behavior.

Complexity
The five senses
The invisible and the supernatural

Complexity of the human mind

the eye marvel

228

I believe God

by N.drew in

someone said atheists are a minority.

i think that is incorrect.

salvation belongs to yhwh.

caliber

@ N.drew... interesting how professing religion or even no religion does not have a 100% bearing on belief in God !

A majority (57%) of Canadians believe in God. What is of particular interest is that 28% of Protestants, 33% of Catholics, and 23% of those who attend weekly religious services do not. One quarter (23%) of those with no religious identity still believe in God."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_atheism

And yes I do believe in God

21

Do you get to choose who you" fall in love with" ?

by caliber in

it's possible to choose people you get to know.

so, in learning about the people around you, it is possible that the things you learn about them could be things you appreciate or, at the very least understand.

many ex-jw's believe they married for other reasons (than love ) such as spiritual qualities or for security.

caliber

@ entirelypossible.... It was a question not a statement... that's the point ..I didn't understand your statement

I need clarification

21

Do you get to choose who you" fall in love with" ?

by caliber in

it's possible to choose people you get to know.

so, in learning about the people around you, it is possible that the things you learn about them could be things you appreciate or, at the very least understand.

many ex-jw's believe they married for other reasons (than love ) such as spiritual qualities or for security.

caliber

@ EntirelyPossible "It's like saying that because I didn't choose to like chocolate I am doomed to end up blaming it for not also having mint in it. Ridiculous"

So what you're saying is we can fall in love for the things we do see and perceive... but it's the other unknowns that later come to light

that can kill your naturally occuring love ?

21

Do you get to choose who you" fall in love with" ?

by caliber in

it's possible to choose people you get to know.

so, in learning about the people around you, it is possible that the things you learn about them could be things you appreciate or, at the very least understand.

many ex-jw's believe they married for other reasons (than love ) such as spiritual qualities or for security.

caliber

choice or chance which best descripts love ?

I'd say that there is a pretty good chance that falling in love can be a choice, a chance or a mixture of both. However, if you really love the other person unconditionally...and a lot more people talk about doing that than actually do it...then have you have taken the chance out of the proposition?

listen ! thanks everyone for your intelligent personal input It all makes sense to me

21

Do you get to choose who you" fall in love with" ?

by caliber in

it's possible to choose people you get to know.

so, in learning about the people around you, it is possible that the things you learn about them could be things you appreciate or, at the very least understand.

many ex-jw's believe they married for other reasons (than love ) such as spiritual qualities or for security.

caliber

For the" nopes" ...... hee hee hee .... how would you respond to this quote ...

"It was vital for me to start owning that falling in love was a choice I was making - not some lightening strike that I was powerless over. As long as I was reacting unconsciously - not owning that I had some power over the beliefs I was empowering and therefore the feelings I was set up to experience because of the perspectives and expectations those beliefs created - then I was in my codependency and powerless to make choices. I was then doomed to end up blaming her for not being a magical princess and/or blaming myself for being such an ugly frog."

http://www.joy2meu.com/falling_in_love.htm

I am not being critical just looking for some imput because in general I am likely a "nope' too especially for KH romances !!