"sometimes i think the only thing i could do that wouldn't upset someone would be to kill myself.".
those were the frustrated words of my friend as we stood out in his large yard in the country, just about to enjoy a nice bonfire on a beautiful night.
what was it that could have been a lesser evil than killing himself?
I read your entire post Mike, you took me right back to my 1960's childhood in the Watchtower Organisation..
As a very sensitive child I also struggled to be the perfect JW kid, always feeling an innate terror that god was going kill me at Armageddon.
Though I was not an academically gifted kid, my experiences mirrored many of yours.
Floriferous
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i09wzqof4zi.
ha!
that is supposed to make people go back?!
because it wasn't true anyway.
it was a dream.
the insanest dream, to believe that i was going to live forever.. but today i am alive, and i am determined to travel the seconds between life and death aware of my mortality.
I spent over half a century man & boy in the WT cult & it feels so good to read what you wonderful people have put into words. Your comments reflect exactly my emotions. Emotions that I find difficult to express & contend with.
Love to you all
Floriferous
boy oh boy did i feel paranoid at today's wt.
not only are we to watch our associations outside of the congregation, but also watch our associations 'within' the congregation.
this was emphasised by the wt study conductor.
Does anyone remember when 'marking' was done.....it's got to be a quite a few decades ago now.
The uberdubs felt they were then allowed to mark anyone in the congregation they judged as not meeting their own 'spiritual' standards.
After that Watchtower if you felt a coolness from the superfine uberdubbies you knew you had been weighed up & in their eyes found wanting.......If I remember correctly it got so much out of hand that the borg had revisit the subject to rein it back.
background information.
i myself am in full fade mode with an overly active jw wife, who refuses to discuss any point whatsoever.
a friend who is not a jw nor has ever been a jw; he studied for a few months, then realized what an evil cult it is and stopped.
whats worse than being an adult jw?
when i was a kid i always had a bad concience all the time.
i believed i would not survive armageddon for the fact that i didn't like going to service and i didnt like going to the meetings.
JW kids are alienated from a very early age by having to sit through interminable meetings about 'types & antitypes' or the 'Bablyon the Great' book that even adult JW's struggled with.
Or the Ezekiel book about a mad old man that had to lay on his right side in the dust for so long & then on his left for so long & then God told to him to make models out of his poo ( as a teenager I found that funny & confirmed my growing ideas that God was weird).
The borg has really missed a trick by not having a separate program for children.
Don't get me started about 8 day assemblies.........
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3270999/has-biblical-city-sodom-monstrous-site-jordan-matches-descriptions-area-destroyed-god.html
being ever ready to note information that demonstrates christian idiocy in general and jw idiocy in particular, i was interested in news of this particular research that has been doing the rounds of science oriented news sources this week.. christianity in general and jwism in particular, have viciously persecuted same sex attracted people, thus demonstrating their peculiar hypocrisy.
most christians (the jw brand and other brands) squeal like a speared pig when they suffer any treatment that they call persecution, but are always willing to persecute same sex attracted people (and anyone else that stands outside their narrow-minded vision of the world).. most same sex attracted people will testify that their romantic attraction to the same sex was not a clear cut choice, but was something they grew up with.
(gay by nature).
I know from personal experience that same sex attraction & trying to be a JW is a toxic mix.
i was paired with this older "brother" when i was a teenager.
he was very very strange.
he was a nice guy but goofy.
I used to curl up with embarrassment in densely populated areas when the other JW's congregated together & laughed loudly about the householders they had just called on & what they had said.
I knew something was wrong with the JW/WT many years before I finally got out.
