Posts by worldtraveller

45

Today I am officially lonely

by wings in

jw
friends

so i plan to post on this site for the next few days until i make you all sick of me.

that is my first idea, maybe i'll get better.

i don't get lonely easy, often, hardly ever...okay never.

DOG DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates
and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse
and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike
fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little
hunter" I am.
Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear
the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to
the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to
my advantage.

This morning I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of th e stairs. I am convinced that the
other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to
be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now...

Cat

45

Today I am officially lonely

by wings in

jw
friends

so i plan to post on this site for the next few days until i make you all sick of me.

that is my first idea, maybe i'll get better.

i don't get lonely easy, often, hardly ever...okay never.

worldtraveller

You asked for it
"On a Valentines day Stella and Eunice are in the kitchen preparing vegetables and gossiping when Eunice looks out of the window. She sees her husband, Bernie, coming up the walkway with a big bouquet of Valentine roses.

Eunice turns to Stella and says, 'Oh, no! He's bringing roses. That means the whole weekend I'll be on my back with my legs up in the air.'

Stella replies, 'What's the matter? Don't you have a vase?'"

45

Today I am officially lonely

by wings in

jw
friends

so i plan to post on this site for the next few days until i make you all sick of me.

that is my first idea, maybe i'll get better.

i don't get lonely easy, often, hardly ever...okay never.

worldtraveller

Too late!!

Fart Football

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows
when the old man passes gas and says, "Seven Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football."

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says "Touchdown, tie score."

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says,
"Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7."

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says,
"Touchdown, tie score."

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says,
"Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got,
and accidentally poops in the bed.

The wife says, "What the hell was that?"

The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."

45

Today I am officially lonely

by wings in

jw
friends

so i plan to post on this site for the next few days until i make you all sick of me.

that is my first idea, maybe i'll get better.

i don't get lonely easy, often, hardly ever...okay never.

worldtraveller

How about some seriously twisted humour? Jeez, you need some friends right now. You have found some here!! Now about that sick humour?

34

BECOME A JW AND YOU CANT

by Velvetann in

jw
friends

can you add to this list.

become a jw and you cant .

attend a church school .

worldtraveller

An unmentioned rule I believe. NO TIPPING, unless it's our jar.

50

WT-Says Moms Should not Work

by leaving-jws in

jw
friends

the feb 1, 2008 wt has an article on p. 28 called finding fulfillment as a mother.

the article basically states that moms should not work outside of the home but stay at home with their kids to teach them things about jehovah.

it also states that moms that want to work outside the home full-time do so not out of economic necessity but to boost their self worth, to obtain financial independence or to pay for luxuries.

worldtraveller

Ladies-back in the kitchen you go. While your at it, can you put on my favourite tv show........ !!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtqQyW0XOLo. I HAD to put it here. Reminded me of this.

34

BECOME A JW AND YOU CANT

by Velvetann in

jw
friends

can you add to this list.

become a jw and you cant .

attend a church school .

worldtraveller

For the mostpart, yes. There are some trolls, and spammers-a few troublemakers too. Most here have a story to tell. Why not tell us yours? (unless you have already).

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