They can't kiss a fart and paint it red.
Dorktacular
JoinedPosts by Dorktacular
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85
Name Certain Things JWs Can't Do
by minimus inhere's one thing to start off our list: jws can't stand for the country's national anthem (but they can rise for the flag salute).
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14
For the girls & guys
by is there help out there ingirls what did you do with the dorky dresses when you left the truth.
guys what did you do with the dorky polyester suites and white shirts when you left the truth.
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Dorktacular
I kept the suits for a while because I was still using them. Business attire. Those suits that I wore to the Hall are long gone now, though. I've since traded up. I have much nicer suits and the even better part is that I don't have to wear them as often.
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24
Tonights Vegetable
by beksbks incan y'all make some suggestions for veggie prep?
i have fresh broccoli, cauliflower, green beans, carrots, onions, leeks, zucchini, spinach, tomatoes.
don't say soup, because it's 90 degrees here today.
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Dorktacular
Stirfry the zuchhini, leeks, and onions with a little soy sauce. Make a salad with the tomatos, spinach, carrots and onions. Steam the broccoli and cauliflower in a little chicken broth (or water) and add butter or cheese. Green beans and onions can be made into a nice salad with vinniagrette. Same thing with tomatos and onions. Now I'm hungry.
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8
Spouse still a loyal JW? Let Jimmy Buffett help you!
by changeling ini love this song and i've posted it here before.
i think it sums up how a marriage of many years works and keeps on working.
today, while listening to it, i thought the chorus would be a nice thing to say to spouse who is still a witness (if you want to work things out).. here are the lyrics, tell me what ya'll think:.
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Dorktacular
Except for his one song Margaritaville, I have always found Jimmy Buffett songs mildly irritating. I'd probably end up getting divorced if I had to have Jimmy Buffett albums solve my problems. For me, the sounds of Jimmy Buffett always conjures images of aging, slightly inebriated white people wearing straw hats and thinking that they are really "rockin' hard" dancing to Jimmy Buffett. Sorry, that's just how I see it.
If you want a song that will fix your marriage, click on this:
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Would you pay $33.50 for a two-ounce bottle of "concentrated water"?
by nvrgnbk inwhat's colorless and tasteless and smells like .
money?by shankar vedantamwashington post staff writer .
monday, june 30, 2008; page a01 in tokyo and paris, you can now spend $5 a glass on special beverages selected by a professional sommelier.
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Dorktacular
My sister in law buys "smart" water. She's been trying to complete a 4 year degree for 12 years now. I suggested that she stop drinking it because it isn't doing any good.
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43
Ugh! Horrible JW forward, only for the strong stomached
by metaspy ini just got this in my email from an elder's wife (she knows i am not going to meetings):.
pearls.
the cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five.
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Dorktacular
Basically, the moral is..... "Hey, work REALLY hard for something you love, then some asshat will come along and tell you to give it to them! Oh, and if you give it to them, they might give you something better..... but maybe not. You don't know what you're gonna get until you sacrifice what you already have and you already love it." Sounds like a losing proposition to me! It all boils down to Pascal's Wager.
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Would you pay $33.50 for a two-ounce bottle of "concentrated water"?
by nvrgnbk inwhat's colorless and tasteless and smells like .
money?by shankar vedantamwashington post staff writer .
monday, june 30, 2008; page a01 in tokyo and paris, you can now spend $5 a glass on special beverages selected by a professional sommelier.
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Dorktacular
I'm gonna start selling powdered water. The instructions will read: 1. Empty powder in container. 2. Add water and stir.
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20
Well I guess I asked for it, Didn't I???
by Princess Daisy Boo inyou may recall the thread i started on monday about wanting a change or an adventure... .
well how's this for the laws of attraction.... my husband has just been told that his company is laying off 600 of it's 3000 employees in a massive restructure.. they are offering voluntary separation packages, early retirements, and then of course there will be forced retrenchments.
we are thinking and hoping that he is safe for now, he is in middle management and well respected and liked.
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Dorktacular
I say we all pool our resouces and buy our own island somewhere. We can call it the Island of Misfit ExJWs.
Maybe Castro will sell us Cuba?? Just a thought.
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Road Accidents & Selfish Thoughts
by LouBelle inon the way home yesturday traffic came to a grinding halt.
cars were lined up for miles in front of me, and were backing up behind me.. another accident!
as a matter of fact there were 2 accidents that day.. of course when traffic does start moving it travels at a snails' pace.
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Dorktacular
I agree that there are some times when traffic has a reason to be stopped, such as in the case of a bad accident. When I get really mad is when traffic is stopped for no reason. One situation that really irritates me is when somebody rearends another because they are too busy applying makeup or dialing a cell phone or masturbating or whatever they hell they happen to be doing instead of driving the damn car. They refuse to move their vehicle off to the side of the freeway as required by law. If your vehicle is able to move, you are required to move it off of the highway. They will sit there and wait for the police to show up, except the police can't get to the scene because they've blocked traffic from moving!!! The police should be allowed to bitch-slap those people just as part of the process of writing them a ticket. But my second big pet peeve is when some looney tune decides he or she wants to jump off a bridge during rush hour. This happens quite a bit in metro Atlanta. They will stop the traffic on the interstate and wait for this dumbass to do something, sometimes for hours. Obviously, none of these people have ever seen the movie "Lethal Weapon". Step 1, fill up one of those big, air-filled jumpy matt thingies. Step 2, put it underneath aforementioned looney tune. Step 3, push the bastard off!
If I were the cheif of police, I would get on my trusty bullhorn, and tell the looney tune that he has 3 choices. Choice 1, come down off the bridge NOW! Choice 2, JUMP NOW! Choice 3, if the looney tune doesn't chose choice 1 or 2, choice 3 is that I will climb out there and push your silly ass off the bridge myself! The key is to end the situation quickly, thus reducing the amount of inconvenience on the general public.
Does all of this sound selfish? Yes, but just think how selfish it is for some asshat to disrupt the lives of hundreds of thousands of commuters for hours on end just because you crave a little attention? Just think about it. I'll tell you how one of these mindless asshats has messed up my life for a couple of weeks. I was tied up on the interstate waiting for one of these idiots to either jump off or climb off a bridge. Traffic couldn't move. I couldn't make it to the daycare before they closed because I sat in traffic for over 2 hours. The daycare doesn't care; when they're closed, they're closed. They simply call the police who gives your kid to DFACS. It took several hours to find out where my toddler was and how to get her back. Then, I had to explain to DFACS why I "abandoned" my kid at the daycare, even though I called the daycare and told them what was going on. I had to deal with these DFACS people checking on me for weeks to make sure I wasn't a "bad" parent. If you're really going to kill yourself, do the world a favor and do it at home or even better, right in front of the police station. That way the cops won't have to waste any gas on you! If you're not going to kill yourself and you just want attention, try running around naked at the mall. THAT will get you some attention, especially if you're a hot chick.
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Racist attack?
by The Nothing Man inhttp://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/7481505.stm .
just wondering how the media would have portrayed this if it were white - on - black crime.
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Dorktacular
Ha ha. Yeah, I do feel better. Thanks for the hug.