garybuss

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Posts by garybuss

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  37

  ??? what would you change ???

  by zev in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  if you had the power, and ability to change one thing in your life, be it a major life changing thing, or a small but significant thing, tell me what and how you would do it, and how it actually was, and how it would be different after the change.

  please don't include jw'ism as that's something we would all want to change

  if you tell me yours, i'll tell you mine

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  garybuss

  I would have my son who is ill be well.

  gb
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  14

  No honorable way out

  by Perfection Seeker in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am sitting here reading posts & trying to decide how to leave the organization.

  i really left years ago- but three years ago got reinstated because my dad was dying of cancer- and needed to be around him.

  (great reason, eh?

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  garybuss

  Perfection Seeker wrote:
  

  I thought I could quietly fade- no label, still see family, but the constant barage of 'FRIENDS' who stop on Saturday to try to encourage me, and my family emailing & calling trying to get me to go to meetings, and the constant GUILT that gets associated with it- I just want it over.

  Hi PS, This is just a phase for many of us in our journey to our own comfort level of freedom. I would suggest that you fight yourself in order to be able to tolerate the JW's long enough to do the research and uncover the issues and beliefs causing the guilt and shame.
  
  This is an inside job. The JW's visiting is probably not the real problem. The real problem is the guilt and shame and probably the fear. Those are all emotions and can be dealt with on a rational objective personal level apart from the individuals in the group.
  
  It is a fallacy to think that if I make *them* go away or shun me, the emotions will quiet down and I can live a happy life. I need to uncover my own core beliefs and objectively look at those I most strongly protect. Those are the ones most likely to be in error and causing the problems.
  
  The people coming around pushing buttons are doing us a favor. If they push a button and we react, we need to write down what it was they said and how we felt and how we reacted and rate that reaction. That is a key to finding the belief in our subconscious. Once we have found it, we can start the process of testing it to see if it is a rational objective belief, or one we accepted because our parents believed it, or because it *fit* with the next belief that we accepted without proof.
  
  It is a process and painful at first. We use our core beliefs to filter everything that comes in to the brain. When we challenge those core beliefs, we sense a loss and realize we can not trust our trained instincts anymore.
  
  The concept is huge. Challenge the unchallengeable, the subconscious. It goes against my nature. I tend to want to protect my core beliefs. They are the very operating system for my life. The results are well worth the effort.
  
  It is sort of like going from DOS operating system for the computer to the latest version of Windows. It took some effort to learn the new system but it was worth it. Same with the brain.
  
  The depressions lift and disappear. We quit fearing our own emotions and the feeling of anger and fear and that nagging feeling of impending doom goes away. We can function among the Witnesses and not be manipulated by them and not fear them. We quit trying to read minds and we realize we can choose our behaviors and we are safe with our own emotions.
  
  Being disfellowshipped or disassociated or shunned will not make it all end nor will it make it any easier. The guilt, shame, fear, anger, and resentment will all still be there.
  
  I hope you do not disfellowship or disassociate. We are just reacting to the way we are reacting. That is changeable by us and has nothing to be with them. It is actually helpful to have them come around while we are challenging our core beliefs as a test to see how we are doing and as a way of discovering new triggers and diffusing them.
  
  I write this from my own perspective of living with Witness parents and leaving group activity when I was 30 years old and being a recovering theist for 28 years.
  
  Best wishes and my support.
  
  gb
  

  The Way I See it http://www.freeminds.org/buss/buss.htm
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  14

  JW Literature?

  by KKLUV155 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is my first post, just wondering how long after you left the borg.

  did it take you to get rid of all your books and literature.

  i felt ashamed to get rid of mine and it took me about 5 years to finally break down and dispose of it.

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  garybuss

  I collect voids?

  gb
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  14

  JW Literature?

  by KKLUV155 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is my first post, just wondering how long after you left the borg.

  did it take you to get rid of all your books and literature.

  i felt ashamed to get rid of mine and it took me about 5 years to finally break down and dispose of it.

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  garybuss

  Please don't burn them.

  I still have voids in my collection. Any who have clean unmarked books, bound volumes, magazines, etc please e-mail me at [email protected]

  Thanks,

  gb
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  16

  WHY D.A YOURSELF??

  by In_between_days in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi guys,.

  this is a question for those that have dissasociated yourselves, and it might seem really stupid.. a while back i had a conversation with my parents in which i claimed that if i had ever been baptised i would have certainly dissasociated myself.

  i asked whether or not they would still have contact with me.. they said yes, but would avoid having me at family gatherings.. i was not happy with this, but at least it was'nt as bad as shunning.. despite my standing now, my parents are now starting to get over it, and have been great, i cannot imagine my parents shunning me, despite anything i am still their daughter.

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  garybuss

  Francois wrote:

  : What good are friends or relatives who would shun you for any reason in the first place?

  Good point! None!

  gb
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  27

  Is there life AFTER leaving?!!??!

  by Perfection Seeker in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my name is melissa.

  i am 33 years old.

  my parents started studying when i was 5. i am trying to leave the orgainization, but keep getting pulled back in.

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  garybuss

  Hi Perfection
  
  You are describing a feature of leaving a high control group called "floating". Those episodes can go on for years for some of us unless treated.
  
  I did have some exit counseling and some pragmatic counseling as well. It all helped. The biggest help was viewing the teachings as well as the behaviors of the group I was involved with and compared those to the claimed standards.
  
  Then I investigated Christianity, Judaism and then theism. I looked to see how God made man and found how man made God.
  
  gb
  
  

  The Way I See it http://www.freeminds.org/buss/buss.htm
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  27

  Anybody from North Dakota?

  by FlyingHigh in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  looking for anyone from the north dakota or western minnesota area.

  if anyone is from this area or knows someone from this area please post a reply.

  you know the saying: north dakota is not the end of the road but you can see it from here.

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  garybuss

  I live near Sioux Falls, South Dakota. I welcome e-mail from any and all :-)

  gb
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  52

  What are you now???

  by SpiceItUp in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am sure this question has been posted by someone before ...but it wasn't by me so it doesnt count..lol .

  to those that post here do you..... a. consider yourself christian.

  b. consider yourself pagan.

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  garybuss

  
  I am absolutely certain, and this I can tell you without a hint of ambiguity . . . I really don't know.
  
  I judge myself by my intentions and the world judges me by my behavior.
  
  I have never seen serious thought even fill a water glass, nor have I seen, even with my microscope, how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.
  
  I do believe, for every fool, there is a hook or a scam . . . and a fool for a scam is a fool for the method.
  
  I have been fooled many times in my past and I am sure I am being fooled with some point(s) in my life right now. My own history gives me conviction that this is hardly disputable at all.
  
  It seems to me that any decision in life is really nothing more that a reason to quit learning.
  
  I can't think why I'd do that.
  
  gb
  

  
  

  The Way I See it http://www.freeminds.org/buss/buss.htm
  
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  22

  facial hair and dubs

  by not interested in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this morning as i was trimming my beard, i was thinking about when i was a drone and the times that iws counseled about my 5:00 shadow at the meetings, and i rembered a time when my dad was told to go and trim his sideburns b 4 he could go on stage at an assembly.. at one time it promted a friend of mine and i to write a letter to the society, since they could change thier minds on doctrinal issues as the light gets brighter we thought maybe we could get them to change thier minds on this issue, (yeah right).

  a few months later he recived a letter from the society the essence of it was like this : it would not be inapproiate for a brother to wear a nice trim beard but the elders in the local area would have to detirmin if it would be acceptable for the brother to be used in the cong.

  and go door to door, as some areas might be more open to it than others.

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  garybuss

  As I've said so often before, I say the WTBTS is a cult, and I say fuck 'em.

  Two very good sayings, I'd say :-)

  gb
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  5

  re: Shunned Father & Disgruntled Witnesses ...

  by Reborn2002 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a quote showing the wts attempting in court to discredit any opposers to their religion.

  the poster with the username "drue" posted this link in the chat room earlier, i thought i would make this available for the board to read: .

  edited by - reborn2002 on 22 june 2002 3:33:4.

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  garybuss

  
  Well of course I have first hand experience with this disease and this issue.
  
  Delores Osborn was a Jehovah's Witness Pioneer in her early 20's and my wife, diagnosed with Leukemia, she took a couple treatments of chemo without blood support, went into remission, came out of remission, refused more chemo because of the needed blood medical treatment support, the leukemia progressed untreated. She died January 12, 1971. She was 26.
  
  gb
  

  The Way I See it http://www.freeminds.org/buss/buss.htm