DH and I have been married 30 years and we've turned just about everything on this list upside down.
1. "Sure, honey, that skirt looks fine." His version: "I remember fondly the years when you wore miniskirts. Yeah, you don't have the legs for it any more [true], but hey, I really like the whole sarong-and-no-underwear thing!"
2. "I can fix it." He'd better be able to, he was in the construction trade for 20 years, and when that went bust, taught himself way too much about computers.
3. "I was not looking at her boobs." Actually, he was. And pointed them out to me, like he's supposed to.
4. "Nothing's wrong." Actually, this is *my* line. I'm the one who tends to bottle things up.
5. "I tried to call you." After 30 years, why *should* he have to call home like an irresponsible teenager? Look, when *I'm* at a strip show, he doesn't expect *me* to call home!
6. "I don't want to have sex unless you want to." Um, I haven't heard this one for several years now. Hee hee.
7. "I'm the best, baby." Well, he doesn't actually *say* it this way :)
8. "My old girlfriend? She was just okay." She's turning out to be a really cool old lady, though. We're friends now & have been for years.
9. "I did not have sexual relations with that (wo)man." Well, damn. We'll just have to ask someone else.
10. "I'll never lie to you." Mainly because neither of us ever learned how.
GentlyFeral
looking forward to our 30th anniversary next month