My dad was also very strict, elder, don't question me. He was also an abusive alcoholic and from 1977 on, every 5 years or so, he developed close "friendships" with women at work. We had to stay behind "whitewashed graves" while at times it was hell on earth. He was never DF'd until 1992 or so, when my mom left him because my brother heard him having phone sex with a "friend" while out of town for a Quick Build. That wasn't why he was DF'd, he talked his way out of that one. He slept with a sister who was helping him clean the house. My mom left my brother and sister with him and moved to Wyoming. My dad married a childhood pioneer friend of mine, they were dating before the divorce was final, while he was DF'd. I wasn't able to be there, he told me not to come because he hadn't gotten reinstated like he'd hoped. My husband and I were the ones who took my brother away after too many beatings. We went to court to get my mom custody. My sister had since left, at 16. His family hated us for taking him to court. I moved to TN when my daughter was 6 mos old. I never told him I was leaving. About 2 months later my sister called to say he'd died. He had accidentally OD'd on pain meds, mixed with whiskey.
On the other hand, we traveled alot to give talks, we camped and fished. My dad was giving to a fault, he had a pantry full of food just for needy ones in the hall. When I was 14 a sister and her kids lived with us to get away from her abusive husband. My dad gave excellent counsel to people while he was an elder. And he always told us he loved us. He had demons from his childhood, another abusive alcoholic father, and he battled them every day. He was a much better dad than his was. And I feel I am a much better parent than my parents were.
My brother, sister and I have all had issues to deal with from our childhood. After I had my oldest daughter I decided I would focus on the good parts, but learn from the bad so I don't repeat them. and yet..
momzcrazy