Tell Us About Your JW Father If You Had One.

by new boy 58 Replies latest jw friends

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  new boy

  We are great friends now....but he wasn't much of a father growing up.

  Worked all the time...we went on few vacations....pretty much pussy whipped my my Nazis JW mother.

  He never did believe in the whole JW thing. He just when along with it, for my mothers sake.

  She never did respect him for not being a "Spiritual Head" and pretty much let us kids know about it.

  I, like my mother became very self rightious and judgmental.

  I wished now he had just came to me just once and said "Keith maybe the JWs are not the people you think they are." but he was to afraid of my mother to say that...even though he knew it to be true.I would have never believed him....back then....but it would have planted a seed....

  We are close now but we lost 30 years because of the poison....of their faith.
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  VoidEater

  Bi-polar, perfectionist, raised in "the truth" but when I was 40 he confided that he didn't really believe the dogma but it seemed a safe place to be when the system ended (he's still convinced society is about to blow apart, either from divine or human causes). Physically and emotional abusive, has mellowed with age where I enjoy the relationship (but only because I've become my own person and can relate to him more as a human being with some wonderful attributes and some hideous flaws).

  Intellectual, brilliant thinker, sees the flaws in logic and interpretation and gets himself DAed for disagreeing with dogma. Suicidal when he's on the outs with the local congregation, angry at the hyposcrisy when he's in.

  His own mom was physically and emotionally abusive, and this was spurred on by the "spare the rod and spoil the child" mentality of the faith. No wonder he turned out the way he did. Amazing I only inherited the mind and body of my dad, but somehow figured out the abuse could stop with me. Oh, and why does this church not understand that "the rod" is a shephard's crook, not a weapon of smiting?

  I love it when I spend time with him, and love it that we live no where near each other. Mostly.

  And he'll always be the dad I have, and I love him.
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  jaguarbass

  My father was not a witness. He allowed my mother to force my brother and I to go to meetings until the brainwashing took hold. I guess when we were all at the meetings we were out of his hair.
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  BIG D

  My father was very strict jw, an elder, and never allowed to question him or the truth, just comply, ultimate tryant, and must be his way, or you leave, he never told any of his kids he loved us, not once, shook my hand rather than hug, from infancy up, i am 45 now and i tell my boys i love them twice a day, and show it by the way i deal with them, we kiss every day, even my 18 year old son , and i did not continue the pattern.

  big d
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  DJK

  My past is the same as Big D.

  He and I don't see each other much. Maybe 12 times in 33 years.
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  momzcrazy

  My dad was also very strict, elder, don't question me. He was also an abusive alcoholic and from 1977 on, every 5 years or so, he developed close "friendships" with women at work. We had to stay behind "whitewashed graves" while at times it was hell on earth. He was never DF'd until 1992 or so, when my mom left him because my brother heard him having phone sex with a "friend" while out of town for a Quick Build. That wasn't why he was DF'd, he talked his way out of that one. He slept with a sister who was helping him clean the house. My mom left my brother and sister with him and moved to Wyoming. My dad married a childhood pioneer friend of mine, they were dating before the divorce was final, while he was DF'd. I wasn't able to be there, he told me not to come because he hadn't gotten reinstated like he'd hoped. My husband and I were the ones who took my brother away after too many beatings. We went to court to get my mom custody. My sister had since left, at 16. His family hated us for taking him to court. I moved to TN when my daughter was 6 mos old. I never told him I was leaving. About 2 months later my sister called to say he'd died. He had accidentally OD'd on pain meds, mixed with whiskey.

  On the other hand, we traveled alot to give talks, we camped and fished. My dad was giving to a fault, he had a pantry full of food just for needy ones in the hall. When I was 14 a sister and her kids lived with us to get away from her abusive husband. My dad gave excellent counsel to people while he was an elder. And he always told us he loved us. He had demons from his childhood, another abusive alcoholic father, and he battled them every day. He was a much better dad than his was. And I feel I am a much better parent than my parents were.

  My brother, sister and I have all had issues to deal with from our childhood. After I had my oldest daughter I decided I would focus on the good parts, but learn from the bad so I don't repeat them. and yet..

  momzcrazy
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  dawg

  My father looked like Paul Newman in coolhand luke. He was inovative as hell. He always was affectionate and always told me he loved me.... that's until I spoke out against the GB. You could talk to my dad about anything sans the JW's. He would defend them no matter how wrong they were. I loved the everloving hell out of my dad, but I loved honesty more, and I could never go to another door, knock on it and tell the householder lies anymore.. I fu**ing just couldn't do it anymore.

  SO, now I have no family, none... just the ones that know the JWs are bull, they are the only ones that talk to me. I guess my dad love men in Brooklyn that he's never even met more than he loved me. He defends them and calls me a fornicator.... shit!
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  momzcrazy

  I'm sorry dawg.
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  Beta Male

  my father was ex-military-but not crazy or anything. but he did understand the power of authority, and (to his mind) the necessity of its imposition on others. emotionally distant, not really terribly interested in being a father, but not cruel. just almost completely non-encouraging about anything, including "spiritual" matters. eventually he got chewed up and spat out by more powerful, that is, richer, elders.

  when he was deleted, i must admit it was one of the happiest days of my life. i held the hope that just maybe my family would be finally through with this crap. my parents stopped attending for a bit, then moved away and started up somewhere else. he still fervently attends and defends, although he will always be blackballed from having authority ever again.

  his indifference to me, as well as his constant demeaning of my intellect over the course of my life, has left me indifferent to him.

  and thats just sad.
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  R.F.

  My father is also ex-military, and i'll just say he has some issues. He left the military to become a JW. He was very strict on my siblings and I when we were growing up. Now that i'm grown, i'd say still that he was way too strict on us. I definitely didn't have what you would call a "normal" childhood because of some of the ways he had us go about life. Thank goodness for my mother who intervened as best as she could so that we can have a bit of normalcy. My relationship with him now is okay. I love him, but sometimes I hate him.

  I'll leave it at that.

  R.F.