millymollymandy

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Posts by millymollymandy

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  114

  Mum aged 22 dies for Jehovah

  by MidwichCuckoo in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

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  mum aged 22 dies for jehovah.... http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article427045.ece.

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  millymollymandy

  The BBC has just put up a feature on JWs and blood transfusions: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7078673.stm
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  114

  Mum aged 22 dies for Jehovah

  by MidwichCuckoo in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

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  mum aged 22 dies for jehovah.... http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article427045.ece.

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  millymollymandy

  This story makes me feel sick to my stomach. If anything was ever to happen to my boyfriend and his family denied him the chance to live in this way I would never ever be able to forgive them or their god.

  I hope the story raises some more awareness of the issue - it's currently the top story on Google News - http://news.google.co.uk/nwshp?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8 and is the most popular on the BBC site so maybe it will.
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  11

  Re. Confused...

  by millymollymandy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello, just updating on my post from a few days ago... http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/145434/1.ashx i replied today then realised no one will see it because it's waaay back in the list of new topics :).

  well, i couldn't go through with talking to my boyfriend yesterday about all this.

  i felt like if i did it would ruin everything (which is pretty telling, i suppose!).

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  millymollymandy

  Well I bit the bullet and asked, over the phone. It was painful, but I at least finally established that he isn’t baptised yet and that he’s very confused about a lot of things - which in one way is bad for him, but is also extremely good because it means he’s not quite yet going in the opposite direction to me.

  I felt bad for bringing it up though. Even though I think I have every right to find out these things, I think he was a bit resentful of me doing so, because it means he actually has to think about it now...

  He kept telling me not to 'look for answers on the internet' and to ask him instead, but he did express some curiosity about what I've been reading, so I think this might be a positive step? He hasn't got the internet at home but next time he comes round I might gently encourage him to have a look for himself, if he wants to.
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  11

  Re. Confused...

  by millymollymandy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello, just updating on my post from a few days ago... http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/145434/1.ashx i replied today then realised no one will see it because it's waaay back in the list of new topics :).

  well, i couldn't go through with talking to my boyfriend yesterday about all this.

  i felt like if i did it would ruin everything (which is pretty telling, i suppose!).

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  millymollymandy

  Do you talk on the phone alot? Long distance is hard. What does he do during the week while you're apart? Would he be willing to move closer or vice versa?

  We talk 3-4 times a week. He works full-time on weekdays, as do I. He's in a band and has practice twice a week and spends Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sunday mornings in JW meetings/study. I'm not sure what else he does - if he spends a lot of time knocking on doors and the like then he never tells me about it.

  As for moving, I moved from my hometown to Manchester nearly a year ago for a bit of independence, and also so it would be easier for us to spend time with each other (although I didn't actually move closer to him as such). I don't know whether he'd be willing to move here. He probably likes the idea but wouldn't want to upset his parents by doing so. To be honest I wouldn't want to move to where he is purely because his hometown is a bit of a dive and also because I have a good job in Manchester, but if I absolutely had to I would.

  I hate to say it, but he may be keeping it the way it is so he doesn't get in trouble. I was raised a Witness and being disfellowshipped is the worst thing that can happen to a Witness. Most lose friends, family and are cut off from everything they have known. But his parents sound supportive.

  I've had the same thought myself more than a few times! But I was always fine with it because I thought 'as long as it means we can be together, it doesn't matter'. I am terrified that he will get kicked out because of me though. For obvious reasons I do think he's not as devout to the cause as others (the first time we met he was stoned!) but at the same time I think he's too scared of being cut off from his family to do anything about it.

  Oh! I just spoke to him on the phone. I told him I would ring him back in about half an hour because 'we have things to discuss'. I am definitely doing this tonight... :o/
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  11

  Re. Confused...

  by millymollymandy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello, just updating on my post from a few days ago... http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/145434/1.ashx i replied today then realised no one will see it because it's waaay back in the list of new topics :).

  well, i couldn't go through with talking to my boyfriend yesterday about all this.

  i felt like if i did it would ruin everything (which is pretty telling, i suppose!).

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  2. 
  3. 
• 

  millymollymandy

  Hello, just updating on my post from a few days ago... http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/145434/1.ashx I replied today then realised no one will see it because it's waaay back in the list of new topics :)

  Well, I couldn't go through with talking to my boyfriend yesterday about all this. I felt like if I did it would ruin everything (which is pretty telling, I suppose!). I'm going to try again, but it's so hard when we've hardly ever talked about it before. It's so strange - we kind of talk about certain parts of both of our religions to each other for sort of informational purposes, but never in relation to our own relationship.

  2. Marrying an "unbeliever" is not a disfellowshipping offence, but it is also frowned upon. Are you intending to marry, or are you happy with the current arrangement?

  We've both hinted to each other a few times that we would like to get married at some point, but we've never talked about it properly. I'm starting to get a bit fed up with how things are at the moment, because I do feel a bit like a part-time girlfriend (we only get to see each other for a few hours every weekend). I think that if we were to get married my own family would eventually be fine with it, despite us being of different religions.

  3. Sex before marriage is definitely a disfellowshipping offence. It's called fornication and there are specific bible verses warning against it. Find out from your boyfriend if he ever intends to come clean about this. Are you a big part of his life or simply side entertainment? Use protection until you find out how serious he is.

  I doubt very much that he's told anyone we're sleeping together, and that he would do so out of choice. To be honest I would have thought it would have been obvious seeing as we've been together for so long, but perhaps it isn't. I think I am a big part of his life, but I don't know how big. It's hard when we live miles away from each other and I'm not entirely sure how much of his time he devotes to the JWs.

  Well there you go, I'm still in the same confused state as I was before. I know it needs to be sorted out, and soon, but I'm so scared. When I do tackle it though, my main points of discussion will be:

  1. Exactly how devout are you? Do you want to leave if not very?
  2. Are your parents hoping that I will convert? Do you know that I would never do that?
  3. When it comes down to it, are you more likely to choose them or me? (harsh, but necessary?)

  Does that sound okay?
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  17

  Confused...

  by millymollymandy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi, i've been lurking on here for a few days but i have a burning question that needs to be answered so i'm outing myself... .

  i'm a non-jw (non-christian, in fact) and i've been in a relationship with a jw for the last five years.

  we're both pretty young (early 20s) and he still lives at home with his devoutly jw family.

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  millymollymandy

  Well, I couldn't go through with talking to my boyfriend yesterday about all this. I felt like if I did it would ruin everything (which is pretty telling, I suppose!). I'm going to try again, but it's so hard when we've hardly ever talked about it before. It's so strange - we kind of talk about certain parts of both of our religions to each other for sort of informational purposes, but never in relation to our own relationship.

  2. Marrying an "unbeliever" is not a disfellowshipping offence, but it is also frowned upon. Are you intending to marry, or are you happy with the current arrangement?

  We've both hinted to each other a few times that we would like to get married at some point, but we've never talked about it properly. I'm starting to get a bit fed up with how things are at the moment, because I do feel a bit like a part-time girlfriend (we only get to see each other for a few hours every weekend). I think that if we were to get married my own family would eventually be fine with it, despite us being of different religions.

  3. Sex before marriage is definitely a disfellowshipping offence. It's called fornication and there are specific bible verses warning against it. Find out from your boyfriend if he ever intends to come clean about this. Are you a big part of his life or simply side entertainment? Use protection until you find out how serious he is.

  I doubt very much that he's told anyone we're sleeping together, and that he would do so out of choice. To be honest I would have thought it would have been obvious seeing as we've been together for so long, but perhaps it isn't. I think I am a big part of his life, but I don't know how big. It's hard when we live miles away from each other and I'm not entirely sure how much of his time he devotes to the JWs.

  Well there you go, I'm still in the same confused state as I was before. I know it needs to be sorted out, and soon, but I'm so scared. When I do tackle it though, my main points of discussion will be:

  1. Exactly how devout are you? Do you want to leave if not very?
  2. Are your parents hoping that I will convert? Do you know that I would never do that?
  3. When it comes down to it, are you more likely to choose them or me? (harsh, but necessary?)

  Does that sound okay?
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  17

  Confused...

  by millymollymandy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi, i've been lurking on here for a few days but i have a burning question that needs to be answered so i'm outing myself... .

  i'm a non-jw (non-christian, in fact) and i've been in a relationship with a jw for the last five years.

  we're both pretty young (early 20s) and he still lives at home with his devoutly jw family.

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  millymollymandy

  There's no danger of me being converted - my own religion feels right for me and is a lot less scary and more joyous than the Watchtower.

  I'm just not ready to face up to making my boyfriend choose - or making that decision for him by walking away.

  I'm looking at the JW Facts site now - thanks for the recommendation, it looks pretty good.
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  17

  Confused...

  by millymollymandy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi, i've been lurking on here for a few days but i have a burning question that needs to be answered so i'm outing myself... .

  i'm a non-jw (non-christian, in fact) and i've been in a relationship with a jw for the last five years.

  we're both pretty young (early 20s) and he still lives at home with his devoutly jw family.

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  millymollymandy

  My guess is that since the brother-in-law of this JW guy you're seeing converted, you are right that they hope to convert too. Maybe that's why they were so hospitable to you.

  You need to consider, why is the JW man you're seeing so secretive about his religion? Do you know what that religion's secrets are? There are many places to find out the history and current practices of the organization, including here. We'd be happy to point you in that direction if you haven't investigated much.

  I've done a little bit of digging around the internet. Like I said, though, it all seems to conflict with each other. To be honest most of the stuff on the Watchtower site scares the hell out of me, but I'm also wary of anti-JW sites as I have no idea whether they're telling the entire truth either. I'm not at all familiar with the Bible, which seems to make things more difficult for me to understand as well!
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  17

  Confused...

  by millymollymandy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi, i've been lurking on here for a few days but i have a burning question that needs to be answered so i'm outing myself... .

  i'm a non-jw (non-christian, in fact) and i've been in a relationship with a jw for the last five years.

  we're both pretty young (early 20s) and he still lives at home with his devoutly jw family.

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  millymollymandy

  Thanks. It looks like no one's found out yet about us sleeping together then...

  I've never been sure what counts as a serious transgression and what doesn't. There's so much conflicting information out there and it thoroughly baffles me. I guess I'm lucky that his family seem to be fine, although I'm not sure how long that's going to last the longer we stay together.
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  17

  Confused...

  by millymollymandy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi, i've been lurking on here for a few days but i have a burning question that needs to be answered so i'm outing myself... .

  i'm a non-jw (non-christian, in fact) and i've been in a relationship with a jw for the last five years.

  we're both pretty young (early 20s) and he still lives at home with his devoutly jw family.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  millymollymandy

  Hi, I've been lurking on here for a few days but I have a burning question that needs to be answered so I'm outing myself...

  I'm a non-JW (non-Christian, in fact) and I've been in a relationship with a JW for the last five years. We're both pretty young (early 20s) and he still lives at home with his devoutly JW family. We kept everything a secret at first but gradually they found out. They weren't too happy at first but we carried on seeing each other and nothing bad happened. A few weeks ago I finally met his family, at their invitation. They were all amazingly lovely and didn't seem unhappy at all. I even visited them again the other week and they were still fine.

  So now I'm really confused - are some JWs actually not as strict as others? Have I been worrying myself to death about the possibility of my boyfriend being disfellowshipped because of me unnecessarily? Or is there something no one's telling me? I'm concerned that maybe they're expecting me to convert at some point, as he has a sister got married after her husband-to-be converted so they could do so without disapproval.

  I know the obvious thing to do is just ask my boyfriend myself, which I'm gearing myself up to do when I see him next (it's a bit of a long distance thing and he's always unwilling to talk about his religion), but I just want to prepare myself beforehand with the possibilities...

  Thanks in advance!