Cangie

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Posts by Cangie

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  22

  GB Daniel Sydlik died ten years ago today (on April 18, 2006)

  by AnneB in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  he seemed like a decent fellow.

  i miss his talks.

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  Cangie

  I'm not going to belabor this, but I would like to clarify, since some of you were not aware of this, and I think it is a rather interesting phenomenon. In the history of the US South during slavery and for a long time afterward, it was common for a white male, especially, to address a black male as "boy" and a black female as "girl." This was to make it extremely evident that they were not respected, were not their equal and were considered to be on the level of a child. This was ok even if the white person was much younger, and the black man (or woman) was 80 years old. It was also common for a black man/woman to be addressed only by their first name, no matter how old they were, and never as "Mr. or Mrs." This led to the common behavior among black people of referring to one another by only their last names, therefore, if a white person wanted to address them, they only had that name by which to do it.

  I'm a black woman, and to this day, I will NEVER allow a child to address me by my first name, as is the customary habit among young parents today. I also lived in the South for a period of time, and was referred to as "the girl" when I was grown, married, and the mother of 2 children. That got corrected quick, fast, and in a hurry, as you might imagine...lol This is why it was an offense of the highest degree for the young Bethelite to be called "boy" by Sydlik and I can't imagine what he felt at being addressed as the N-word!
  

  Climbs down off of soapbox, and wanders off to put it away... :-)
  
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  22

  GB Daniel Sydlik died ten years ago today (on April 18, 2006)

  by AnneB in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  he seemed like a decent fellow.

  i miss his talks.

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  Cangie

  Hi, @the girl next door...it's fine. :-)
  
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  22

  GB Daniel Sydlik died ten years ago today (on April 18, 2006)

  by AnneB in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  he seemed like a decent fellow.

  i miss his talks.

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  Cangie

  "Dan Sydlik: (to the African American "new boy") "Hey son, pass me the potatoes."

  It is my understanding regarding this occasion by someone who was in Bethel that Sydlik said "Hey BOY, pass me the potatoes." If he had called him "son" it would not have been considered an insult by the African American guy. Calling him a "boy" would totally explain his negative reaction to what Sydlik said.

  @suavojr...Calling a Black man a "boy" is an insult of the greatest degree. There is nothing amusing about it.
  
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  Model Jw family?

  by MrTheocratic in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i would like to get the opinion of those on this community.

  does serving as an elder make one a bad family man.

  with all the demands placed on those serving... how can one make time for family life?

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  Cangie

  My family was considered a "model family." In reality, there was a lot of dysfunction in our home---my elder father had a problem giving up smoking and occasionally "slipped", he was a functional alcoholic, he had no ability to connect emotionally to his children. My mother was angry, abused her children, and she misused prescription anti-anxiety pills that she did NOT get from a doctor. So, our home life was totally unlike what we presented in public, the congregation and when being used for parts on the assembly/convention programs.

  But looking good was all that mattered to my parents and what people thought of them---and their children--- was the most important thing. I felt more like a performing pet and less like an appreciated and loved child. I couldn't wait to get out of their house, so at 19, I married the MS who most closely matched their attitude and behavior, thereby repeating their pattern of living in a crazy house and having to hide how bad it really was.
  
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  What are you going to be when you grow up?

  by Wild_Thing in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was a kid back in the early 80s, they had a special part at the kingdom hall one night.

  i am pretty sure it was the circuit overseer's visit and they were having special parts on youth.

  they called all the little kids less than 10 years old up on the stage.

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  Cangie

  3 years ago when my granddaughter (then 5) was "graduating" from daycare, they had a ceremony for them. The little cuties marched in, scrubbed and in their best clothes, and took a seat in the front of the auditorium. The proud families grinned and "ooh'ed" and aah'ed and the kids performed a little program. They went around the group and told the audience what they wanted to be when they grew up, (the usual---doctor, fireman, teacher) and when it came to her turn, my granddaughter stood up, threw her arms in the air and declared "I wanna be a Rock-Star." Think she's kidding? She takes drum lessons every Saturday afternoon, and is beating the heck out of them already. THAT'S MY GIRL! She's gonna be the next Sheila E!
  
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  15

  I like how it looks in other people but not for myself. A question specially for women.

  by StarTrekAngel in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i like how it looks in other people but not for myself.. this is a phrase i have heard often from my wife.

  now i am to a point where i am trying to figure it out if this is something all women do or say.

  i can understand how you would say this if you were talking about a type of clothing that doesn't go with your figure, except that you may add the disclaimer... "if i had that figure i would wear this".

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  Cangie

  There are several other factors than just a woman's figure as to why she might not choose an item to wear, or an accessory to go with her clothing (jewelry, perfume, handbags, shoes, etc.) Another factor would be skin, hair and eye coloring. I might admire an item, but know that the color does not flatter me. I am now retired and although I love jewelry and used to buy and wear quite a variety when I was working, I have fewer occasions to wear it now. So a change in life circumstances decides what I would buy/wear today. I also have a nickel allergy, so I can only wear limited brands that are marked "nickel-free" or "hyper-allergenic." Contrary to what some may believe, not all perfumes can be worn by everyone. Differences in individual body chemistry makes some scents smell delicious on some women, and awful on others. I only like very light, clean or citrus scents, as the musky, flowery stuff makes me feel nauseous.

  I like some tattoos on other people, but I am allergic to so many things that I would be concerned about injecting inks and dyes under my skin and then possibly having a serious reaction. I only use one brand of ergonomically designed handbag because I have developed bursitis with back and shoulder pain, so most "designer" handbags are uncomfortable for me. I looove sexy high heels (used to wear them when I was younger), but foot problems require that I now wear the most comfortable, attractive shoes that I can find. Although I realize I am more limited in my choices than most other women, I have found what works for me, and I am usually stylish and well-dressed within the limitations that I have. I am just giving you an idea of some of the considerations that women may have when choosing their wardrobe.
  
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  40

  New K.Hall Design, Mansfield

  by BluesBrother in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  not mansfield u k , but mansfield in u s a - it doesn't look much, does it?

  in fact even the uber dubs on j w talk are not impressed (that must be a first!

  this thread of theirs is publicly readable:.

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  Cangie

  Apparently, you can convince JW's to like anything the FDS tells them to...just ask "Brother Bob." And will somebody tell the commenters on JWTalk to stop using the word "homely" to describe KH's they like (which means "plain and ugly.") Oh, wait...maybe that IS what they mean...
  
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  4

  The Remarkable Story of Lili Boulanger

  by Terry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  _____________the remarkable story of lili boulanger____________.

  there are stories that cannot be written and shouldn't be told because the truth of those stories cannot be embraced on first hearing.

  this is the life of a real person who appeared and vanished as though only dreamed up by an overly emotional writer.. lili boulanger was born to a father 77 years old, yet they formed an adoring bond almost from the moment she drew her first breath!

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  Cangie

  Wowwww...goosebumps! Thanks for the introduction, Terry. And thanks to you, Giordano for the list of her other works. I'll take my time and go through them one by one as I have the time. I appreciate the fact that the members of this group have so much to share and teach one another---I learn something new every day.
  
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  15

  A blog post on my 65th birthday

  by JeffT in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  putting this out there for everybody.

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  http://pathologicallyintellectual.blogspot.com/.

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  Cangie

  Happy Birthday, Jeff. I'm 65, too, and one of the people you referenced when you say that they expected things to have changed by now, so they delayed education, a secure career, and are paying for it now in retirement.

  While this is not the most fun I've ever had, I still say it beats the alternative!
  
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  34

  Banned from the second school!

  by purrpurr in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been told by a jw friend that when her hall recently had a refurb that big changes were made to the second school.. one, a large sign has been placed on the door telling people not to use it and to sit in the main hall itself.. two,that all the chairs which used to face the large windows looking into the main hall are now side on to the window facing the wall instead.. this is because "so many people were sitting out in there!

  people were finding all manner of exhuses to sit-in there and the brothers want us to all be together in the main hall!

  " she said.. of course i didn't tell her what i really thought of this but seriously?

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  Cangie

  Yes, control...and absolutely no consideration for people's individual comfort, just a "herd mentality." I am not comfortable in crowds...related to claustrophobia,discomfort with heights, and anxiety. So, at assemblies and conventions I always looked for seats either on the end of the row, or seats not too high up in a stadium. So many times, the attendants had roped off entire sections, and got ugly if I requested a more comfortable seat, not even caring to allow me to explain what my issues were. Same at the KH, where they insisted that everyone crowd into seats at the front of the hall, leaving lots of empty seats at the back of the room. (except, of course, when I was attempting to get reinstated---then I was avoided like I had Ebola.)

  I had developed a cough, and rather than disturb others around me during the WT study, I went out to the lobby to sit and continue to listen. An attendant came over to me and said I had to go back to the main hall, and in the midst of my explanation, he turned around and ignored me, but not before he questioned how it would look to visitors if they came in and found me sitting there. (???) It seems that the people assigned as attendants just enjoy the sense of power that it fools them into thinking they have, probably above what they have in their everyday lives.