Posts by fairyfoxx2007

20

To all of you who continue to "cover your tracks" and are still in ((HUGS))

by Lady Liberty in

jw
friends

dear friends,.

there are so many here with circumstances that will not allow them to leave the borg, and who week after week have to put on a show, and go to the meetings and service, that i just wanted to send you a big (((hug)) for hangng in there.. though each situation is no doubt different, one thing most likely the same..you would leave if you could,, and you have to endure all the things being taught each week, that you have come to learn are lies!

but we are glad you are here!!

fairyfoxx2007

Its funny this post reminded me of how difficult I make my life to not make my family uncomfortable. Mind you, I haven't attended KH since 1999. Last month (November) I had a costume party. (being that my fam is JW active, I did the party so the kids could dress up in costumes). They mentioned to me wanting to dress up in costumes. Even I struck a deal with my kid not to take her trick or treating if we had this party. (I was afraid my mom would find out.) Last year I had the guts to put up an xmas tree on xmas eve and we took it down 3 days later. (I was afraid my mom would stop by).

So yes, I am afraid, I can't imagine my world without my mom in it. My mother has been a steadfast JW since 1959, she's 62. Growing up we never missed a meeting. She was a single mom and did the best she could with us (which I think was pretty darn good) and I sometimes think that celebrating any holiday is a betrayal to her. But then not letting my daughter experience the "magic" is a betrayal to her childhood...

My huband, a non- confirmed catholic thinks Im a coward. H doesn't understand the hold she has on me, for god's sake Im a woman with my own life and home. Why should she have so much power over me????

Maybe because I "tore out her heart and did the mexican hat dance on it when I got disfellowshipped for "fornication" with my boyfriend come husband at the young age of 17. I remember how hurt she was, she even grasped at her clothing, like a figure from the old testament. I can't bear to do that to her again and yet"...

here we are debating about when to put up the tree, I haven't gotten the nerve to put it up yet. Last year was on impulse, this year, I don't know. She already said she won't be coming over if I do it, I figured I should tell her that my husband and I were "thinking about it". Does anyone have any advice they could share? THanks.

15

Christmas

by ARoarer in

jw
friends

hey everyone, i am thinking of having a tree this year for the very first time since i stopped going to the kh.

although i am not disfellowshipped and i have not written a letter to disassociate, the closest friends i have had over the years as a witness have all chosen to avoid me and my family unless we return to the hall.

unofficial shunning by those who we have loved.

fairyfoxx2007

Hi, I have been reading this site for a few days now and I recently registered. Like you aroar, I have misgivings about the xmas tree. Last year, I put up the xmas tree on xmas eve and we took it down 3 days later. I mainly put it up for my daughter, who is 7. It hurt me that she had to go to her grandma's (my husbands mom) in order to see a tree. I have a little fear of men, but overall I have a fear to dissapoint. My mother has been a steadfast JW since 1959, she's 62. Growing up we never missed a meeting. She was a single mom and did the best she could with us (which I think was pretty darn good) and I sometimes think that celebrating any holiday is a betrayal to her.

It doesn't help that I was baptized at 10 before I knew anything about anything, specifically boys.

So it goes without saying that I tore out her heart and did the mexican hat dance on it when I got disfellowshipped for "fornication" with my boyfriend come husband at the young age of 17. I remember how hurt she was, she even grasped at her clothing, like a figure from the old testament. I can't bear to do that to her again and yet...

My husband hung a wreath on the door (our first one ever). I hope she doesn't cry.... SIgH, Christmas is so tumultuous for me....